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I Don't Understand How He Could Walk Away From This

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A beautiful woman leans her head against the wall, sad about her breakup.
I can't help but wonder if he'll come back.

Gorgeous Wanda had a great relationship with amazing chemistry and a strong emotional connection, but now he's saying he can't commit and doesn't want a relationship. She's trying to understand what happened.

Here's what she wrote:

Hi Jane,

Thank you for providing all your great content - your articles have been so helpful. I think my story is similar to many that you have shared, but I'm hoping you can be helpful with this situation.

Here's my story: I was dating a man, and the first 2 months were perfect... honestly maybe too perfect.

He was consistently making an effort and told me how much he liked me. We had instant chemistry and a really strong emotional connection. I truly think we both thought we were a good match in terms of personality, values, chemistry, etc.

At ~2 months in, he was honest about his concerns that he wouldn't be able to commit/offer enough to a relationship at that time. Long story short, we decided to keep dating anyway, both with the hope that things would get better.Continue Reading

After One Wonderful Year, He Suddenly Changed

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A beautiful woman is feeling sad and broken hearted about her relationship.
Why did he act so loving only to break up with me?

Our letter this week comes from Abi, who had a feeling something was off and went on to find out she was right. Sound familiar? I have a feeling most of you can relate.

Here's her story:

Hi Jane, I’ve recently gone through a breakup. He was my first ever boyfriend and the first time I’ve ever felt loved. We were dating for almost a year until he suddenly changed - as if a switch just turned in his head.

This happened the day they announced lockdown in England and I went through six weeks of no communication from him unless I instigated the conversation. As the weeks went on his behaviour started to change which started to hurt me more and made me think as to why he was doing this.

I had an inkling that he was going to break up with me but I thought I was just being paranoid.Continue Reading

We Had Amazing Chemistry but I Haven't Heard From Him in 4 Days!

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Rear view of a woman holding the curtains open to look out of a large light window at home.
Should I reach out to him or not?

Our letter this week highlights one of the dilemmas so many of us have encountered before. Amazing physical chemistry and, well, some other things that aren't exactly amazing - or even acceptable.

That's the subject of today's letter, and like most of us who've been here before, it feels just a little too familiar.

Here's her story:

Hi Jane,

I’ve been dating this guy for two months. Sparks flew immediately.

I’m 32 and he’s 33. He’s a resident Pathology physician and I work at the same hospital, but in different departments.

We have amazing physical chemistry and we would text each other constantly throughout the day and evening.  He would tell me that I make him nervous and that he thinks about me all the time.Continue Reading

HELP!!! My narcissist ex bought the house next to mine!

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A woman is holding her head, exasperated, wondering why he wants to slow things down.
Avoiding him will be almost impossible!

Whenever I see a letter with capital letters and exclamation marks, I know this is a woman who desperately needs our help. Not just my help, but our whole community here. And that's exactly what I found in the email that landed in my inbox from Stacey.

Here's what she wrote:

HELP!!!

How am I supposed to deal with the emotions that I'm feeling now that I've finally ended my relationship of 6 years with a narcissist and he's bought the house right next door to mine?

NO contact is almost impossible.

I'm desperate for advice.

- StaceyContinue Reading

Should I Remind Him He Said He Would Tell Me Why?

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A beautiful woman is holding her hair back with her hands, wondering if she was a hot mess.
I just need to know why!

Our letter this week comes from Paula, who's feeling heartbroken over the loss of the man she experienced such amazing chemistry with in a long-distance relationship. He said he was going to meet up with her and talk in three weeks time, so she wants to know if she should reach out to remind him.

Here's her story:

Hi Jane,

I'm 42 years old. I met a man, 46 years old, on Dec. 23 of last year.

For two weeks we met on the beach in the morning or in the evening-had dinner and drinks or a walk by the beach, talking about ourselves, kissing each other - there was extreme chemistry between us.

After two weeks, we had time to be together and had an amazing time. This man lives 900 km from me.

We were in touch almost every day by messages, half of them initiated by him. We have met again every second week after because he flies here to be with his children. I have one child, I'm a single mum.Continue Reading

He Lied to Me

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A beautiful woman is feeling sad and broken hearted about her relationship.
I feel so betrayed and used.

Our letter this week comes from one of our beautiful readers, Renee, who just found out last week that the man she was planning her future with, lied to her. She's heartbroken and doesn't know where to start with moving on with her life. Here's what she had to say along with my response.

Her story:

Hello Jane,

I found your blog while searching for an answer to my question in Google.

I have been dating this guy for almost 4 months. I introduced him to my friends and family. My friends and family accepted him; he is the first guy I introduced to them. We planned our future and decided to get married this summer. I know people are questioning us why it's so quick when we just met.

Last week, I found out that he was married.

When I called him and asked him if it is true, he said yes, that he got married 6 years ago but that they already separated and his wife has her own family now.

I asked him why he lied not just to me, he lied to all the people around us.

He said he is single, and he doesn't want to talk about his past anymore.Continue Reading

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