Getting to TRUE Love

Finding your YOU that leads to TWO

Is He The One?

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Angry girlfriend shouting at boyfriend showing text messages from other woman on his mobile phone.
My heart believes he's the one, but in my mind I know it's not right.

I receive so many letters asking this question. The stories may be different, from women from all different walks of life, all different ages and from all different parts of the world, but the question is always the same.

Is he the one?

It’s easy for me. After all, without the emotional attachment, I’m able to hold an objective view that you can’t see when you’re so emotionally invested.

But there’s one thing that I use to make that assessment more than anything else. What you say.

When you tell me you love him BUT. When you tell me he could be the one EXCEPT.

When you have all the reasons he could be but then in your words you say the one thing I’m waiting for, you tell me everything. Everything.

That’s where you need to go, Beautiful.

There. Right there.Continue Reading

It's Your Choice

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It is always your choice written on a blackboard.
Never, ever, forget this part.

You look back.

You look back at what was, not what is. You retell the story of how it should have been with your memory of what you did wrong.

It’s not too late!

Throw out the convention. Throw out the desire to have it the way your mind says it has to be.

This is your choice. You get to choose what terms you’re willing to accept.

This isn’t about him, it’s about you.

I’ve been working with a woman for years now, who has been trying to change the man she loves. She's miserable without him, and so is he without her. But together, they fight.Continue Reading

Should I Call it Quits or Keep Trying?

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Street sign showing direction for should I stay or should I go.
Should I ask him what is going on, or just move on?

Our letter this week comes from beautiful Gail. She's seeing the signs of the slowly disappearing man, but she's not quite ready to let go and she's wondering if she should keep trying to work it out.

Here's what she wrote:

Hi Jane - I love your blog and have gained much insight from it - but I am still stuck with this particular dating dilemma, which I know is a fairly common one.

I have been online dating with a guy for around 4 months (we live about 7 hours car drive from each other) - I am 52, he is 56.  We hit it off right from the start and he was very romantic, telling me how he was falling for me big time, could imagine us spending our lives together, etc!

I really liked him and felt this might be the lucky charm (after several bad experiences).

He said he was really busy with his business in the run up to the end of the year, but he would make time soon to come and see me.  (Sorry, but I was not going to offer to go and visit him, I do feel that should come from him, first.)

Well, you can probably imagine what has happened.Continue Reading

How Do I Let Go and Find Happiness?

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A heartbroken woman with her head in her hands, wondering how do I let go?
I can't seem to let him go and let myself be free.

This week, I've chosen a letter from one of our beautiful readers, Elizabeth. She's suffered a huge heartbreak and she's wondering how she can let go, move on, and finally find happiness in her life.

Here's her email:

I've been reading your blogs for a few years now.

I know you have answered questions and given advice about letting go, freeing yourself from your past, etc. I feel like I have a unique situation though and I am really at a loss for how to truly put it in my past.

I dated the same guy off and on from 2007-2016. Our break-ups were always very bitter and sad, and I would spend months trying to heal and forgive him and myself. Every time, once I got to the point of finally accepting everything with him, he would pop back into my life.

He would tell me how he loves me, how sorry he is for everything, and would want to give us another try. He knew I never fell out of love with him.

The break-up before the most recent one, I wrote him a letter telling him why I think our relationship didn't work and I was ready to accept that we will never be together, but I needed some closure so I wrote the letter.Continue Reading

How Do I Get Him Back?

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Lonely woman missing her boyfriend while swinging in the park in the morning
I just want it back the way it was.

There's nothing more heart wrenching, more gut wrenching, than hearing from you when you’ve lost him, when he’s gone. There's nothing that speaks more to my heart and to the heart of every other woman who’s been there before. It all comes back.

The longing.

The trying.

The hoping.

The planning.

The desperate attempts to get him back.

But what if we could attempt it without being desperate? What if we could draw strength from who we are, from everything we know we could be if only our anxiousness and desperation didn’t get in the way?

What if we could pick ourselves up, dust ourselves up, take that deep breath and resolve to do it differently this time around?Continue Reading

It Hurts and I Need Help to Let Go

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Woman crying over her broken heart, because it hurts so bad.
I'm feeling so hurt, but I still love him.

Our letter this week comes from beautiful Mansi, who just had a whirlwind relationship with a man who suddenly decided he wasn't ready for a commitment.

Here's her story:

Hi Jane.

Finally I'm writing you as it's getting heavier and I need advice.

It's been 7 months of break up with him and I'm unable to get over it. It's not my first break up of relationship though but you know it always hurts.

I'm in my 30's and he is 24 yes, different country and culture. Things started at work place where he recently took over as manager, where as I was being transferred to his branch as a supporting manager.

I liked him the day I saw him, but I told I myself "don't ever think it's not gonna happen, he is too young for you and you are not his type."Continue Reading

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