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Relationships

The Relationships category contains posts regarding the stage after dating, in which you are generally in an exclusive monogamous relationship. The Relationships category includes posts on such topics as meeting the family, commitment, is he the right one for you?, etc.

How Do I Find the Courage to Leave?

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Beautiful rocks with the word courage written on one.
How do I tell him I don't want to be with him?

One of our gorgeous readers, who has chosen to call herself "In Between", is desperately trying to find the courage to leave a relationship that she knows isn't right for her.

Here's her email:

Hi Jane,

I am a follower of yours and I have benefited tremendously from all your emails.

I am 25 years old and am in a situation. My boyfriend and best friend of about 4 years broke up with me and said that he had met someone else who he saw himself with. I had broken up with him before then we got back together, we have been best friends since we were in our late teens and we know each other so well.

I know I hurt him before when I broke up with him so I knew somehow that he did this to get revenge somehow, which did not work out so good for him because after two months, he was back on his knees saying he did not know what he was doing at the time and that he listened to some people who only wanted to break us apart and he only realized afterwards.

The only problem is, I had forgiven him quite alright, I broke contact with him and was now seeing someone else.Continue Reading

Why Can't I Let Go and Move On?

63 Comments

A beautiful woman looking down sadly, trying to let go and move on.
I want so badly to let go but I just can't!

Why do so many of us find it so difficult to move on, even when we absolutely know in our hearts that it's the best thing to do? I know I've been there, and our stunning friend Anastasia is there right now.

Here's her email:

Why can't I let go and move on?

I've been in a long distance relationship for 2 years off and on. The last time he broke up with me was 5 months ago and we have been on again off again since. I finally went no contact a month ago because even though we were talk he kept saying I care about you but don't want a relationship anymore.

We contacted each other again just last week and he was sweet for a day or so but is now being disrespectful.

I want so badly to let go but I'm having such trouble.

I'm starting to feel my self respect drifting away because I don't want to lose contact again...

Help..Continue Reading

Which Path Should I Choose?

35 Comments

A beautiful woman walks down a path, representing different choices in her relationships.
Please help me make the right decision!

What do you do when the ex who couldn't commit suddenly decides he wants you back - but you don't know if it's just because you've moved on with someone he knows, or because he actually wants you back? What would you do?

Well, that's what our beautiful reader, Jessica, wants to know. I'm featuring her email on the blog this week, and with all the experience this community has with exes who won't commit, I know she's come to the right place.

Here's her story:

Hi Jane,

I have a point of crossroads and I would really appreciate your guidance.

Basically my ex boyfriend and I were in a committed relationship for about two years when he was offered a job in the US. Because of the visa laws it was a situation where we would either have to commit or try another option.

Instead of exploring the different options he froze and abandoned the relationship, treating me very disrespectfully, revealing a side that I didn't recognize and cheating on me multiple times. This was about six months ago.

He then went off to the US and then a lot sooner than I expected I actually began to see somebody else and move on which unfortunately happened to be an acquaintance of his.

So as things began to develop with the new guy I knew I needed to tell my ex to be fair to the situation as they had known each other and not to hurt him anymore than the news could already. Since he had been gone I'd heard from him occasionally and of late had a couple more emotional messages of missing me and regret which I closed down and asked for his respect in leaving me be.

But when I told him about my new situation he basically reacted in a way that I totally didn't expect.Continue Reading

I Think I'm In a Pretend Relationship

20 Comments

A beautiful woman looks sadly out the window.
He says he loves me, but he's never there for me.

Our beautiful friend, Julie, has a boyfriend who says he loves her, but then doesn't spend time with her. She's wondering what to do.

Here's what she wrote:

My boyfriend of 5 years has been telling me for a while now that he cannot give me what I need right now in our relationship but that he loves me and wants a future with me and is still with me except he doesn't do anything with me.

He won't spend holidays or time with me but he says he will after he's done with college, he also says if I can't wait for him then I should leave.

How can he say something like that?Continue Reading

Everything Was Going Great Until He Said Those 5 Shocking Words

39 Comments

A woman is upset after her boyfriend told her he wants to slow things down.
He said those 5 little words that no one wants to hear.

What do you do when your relationship seems to be perfect, then suddenly he says those words that you hoped to never hear again? Our letter this week comes from one of our beautiful readers who just experienced exactly that.

She has asked to remain anonymous, so I've decided to call her "Shocked", as I'm sure just about all of us can relate to how she's feeling.

Here's her story:

Hi Jane,

I hope you read this as I'm going to be as descriptive as possible.

I'm so confused.

I just met this guy about four months ago through some co-workers who are also his housemates. I am 23 and he is 29. I recently got out of a bad relationship which lasted a little over a year. He recently got out of a 3 year relationship a few months before he met me.

My co workers said he thought I was cute and everything but I had no interest. They left us alone and he asked to kiss me. I got so unusually nervous I didn't say anything an started laughing!

He kissed me anyway.

That night one thing led to another and well you know... afterwards I started laughing again and he asked why? We ended up talking about how weird it is to be with someone else after you're so used to someone else's body.

The next morning I wasn't sure what to do I thought it was a one time thing but we texted all day and I went over again we all hung out together and that's basically how it's been for the last three months!

I've met his parents. His sister and her husband. All of his friends.Continue Reading

Should I Call or Text? I Don't Want to Lose Him

73 Comments

A beautiful woman looks at her phone, worried, wondering if she should call or text him.
I haven't heard from him since Sunday. Should I call or text?

What do you do when you're afraid he's going to go back to his ex? Our letter this week comes from our gorgeous friend Hannah, who is going through exactly that.

Here's her email:

Hello,

I'm desperate for your help and wouldn't normally be so needy but I don't know what to do.

Before I go into detail, here is a little break down of timings etc., as it's all a bit complicated:

2010 - My boyfriend starts dating his ex.

2013 - My boyfriend moves his ex into his house.

2013 - Things start to fizzle out between my boyfriend and his ex. She adores him but he isn't sure and she moves out of his home in November 2014 and they take a break so he can get his head straight and decide what he wants. It's in this same month that he and I start seeing each other.Continue Reading

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