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He Broke Up With Me Over Text

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Beautiful woman sitting down checking her text messages using mobile phone.
I still can't believe he broke up with me over text!

This week, beautiful Lolly shares her story with us, about how her boyfriend broke up with her through a text message, which is becoming more and more common. But, as always, the real story of the relationship goes much deeper than that.

Here's her email:

Hi Jane.

Firstly I would like to thank you and all the amazing women in your forum for all the advice that you provide here, it has made a tremendous impact in my life.

I have been seeing this guy for over a year now. He is 34 and I am turning 33 in 2 days. 

He doesn't have kids and I have 2 kids (boys). We never really labeled our relationship from the beginning (big mistake.) Everything just happened so fast, from him sending me flowers at work on my birthday after just two months of knowing each other to us spending most of our time together.

It came to a point where we were literally spending almost all the weekends together as we live very close to each other.

So as time went on and us having serious discussions about our relationship, future goals etc., he indicated to me that he was not ready for a serious relationship as he was still focusing on his career.

I made it clear that if I happen to meet someone who wants to settle down I will leave the relationship. He begged me and said if that ever happens he will have to step up and make things right with me (in my mind I thought he meant commitment.)

He has been very good to me in terms of being there for me in any manner that I can ever imagine. He was playing the boyfriend role  I felt like we were in a serious relationship. He took me on vacation with his friends and their girlfriends during the new year.Continue Reading

When All You Want is HIM

7 Comments

Beautiful woman stands in front of the window pining for her ex.
You want him back the way it was. I know. I've been there.

You don’t care about being attractive to every man. You don’t want anyone else.

All you want is him.

The one you’ve got. Or at least had.

He’s the one you want. And he’s the only one.

No matter what you’ve tried before, nothing seems to work on him.

Until now.

You know what makes him commit, Beautiful?

You do.

And here’s the long misunderstood how…

It’s you, being able to see yourself without needing him to make you feel like you’re finally being seen. That’s how.Continue Reading

Can I Really Say We're In a Relationship?

10 Comments

Woman lying on floor on a video call using laptop in a long distance relationship.
We video call each other often but is it really a relationship?

One of our beautiful readers, Kylie, has been dating a man virtually for over a year, but they haven't yet met in person. She's wondering if this qualifies as a real relationship.

Here's her story:

Hi Jane,

I have been  dating this guy for more than a year now  and we are in a long distance relationship. 

We basically never met each other yet the entire time we are dating. Though we do video call each other most of the time and text and call everyday, I don't feel like we are a thing because we are far away from each other.

We have been through ups and downs and it wasn't easy for the both of us but I am amazed how we always tried our best to make things work despite the distance and the problems we encounter.

We had broken up three times but he always comes back to me and he was the one who ended the relationship in the first place.Continue Reading

What a Real Relationship Really Is

25 Comments

We’re going to help you get your compass pointing towards a real relationship.

Just for a moment, I want you to forget about everything you think you know about what a real, healthy relationship feels like.

We’ve got a problem here, because we think we know, but the reality is, we don’t. We can’t. Not when we’ve been where we’ve been and gone through what we’ve gone through. Not when our relationship gauge is up when it’s supposed to be down.

If I’ve lost you here, stay with me for a minute and picture a compass.

It’s going to automatically point north because of the magnet in there.  Now imagine your relationship radar as a compass (you know where I’m going with this.) It’s pointing south (or east, or west), not north.

And it’s OK.  It’s not your fault.Continue Reading

I Thought We Had Something, But It Was All a Lie

20 Comments

A beautiful woman feels sad because she feels she was used.
He knew how l felt but he kept using me

The letter I want to share with you this week comes from one of our beautiful readers who has asked to remain anonymous. I'll simply call her "Beautiful".

Here's what she shared:

Hi Jane,

I thought l'd share my story with you as right now l’m so devastated and feel this pain won’t go away.

It’s killing me.

I have been sleeping with a guy for years. l fell so in love with him and thought he definitely had feelings for me. He'd tell me we would never be together but l never believed him as when we were together it felt real.

He'd give me that impression that there was something there, we got on so well together.

But l know now after seeing him on a dating site that it was all a lie, the kisses, the cuddles was all a lie. It really was just sex on his part but l thought there was feelings there.

l thought we had something.Continue Reading

I Want to Let Go But He Still Has My Heart

12 Comments

Woman one the beach reflecting on letting go.
I'm so confused about whether I should do something or not.

One of our gorgeous readers, Heather, is having a hard time letting go of a relationship that she knows is not what she wants.

Here's her letter:

Hi Jane!

I've been following you for a little while. I find your explanations and responses very comforting...so thank you!

I'm going to try to summarize this as best I can.

I met a man almost 3 years ago who changed my world. We were together for almost 2 years with a brief break in the middle. Our issue then and what ended up breaking us up was the issue of having kids.

He's 10 years older than me. He has 3 foster kids and didn't want to have anymore. I wasn't ready to give up on the idea of having kids so we split.

We didn't talk for a little while after the break up but then ended up staying in contact until about a month ago.Continue Reading

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