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I Always Seem To Attract The Wrong Guy

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A beautiful woman is consoled by her dog after a breakup.
I always manage to fall for the wrong guy - help!

How do you stop attracting the wrong guys? One of our beautiful readers, Nicky, is having this problem that so many of us (myself included!) have struggled with at one time or another.

Here's her email:

Hi Jane

I don't know where I'm going wrong but I always manage to fall for the wrong guy - help!

I started off in my late teens by falling for guys who either lied or emotionally black mailed me and after learning my lessons on that one I now attract guys who can't commit.

My last relationship of 3 years strung me along believing he wanted marriage and children like me but then when it came to committing to that he then just selfishly dropped me and said that wasn't what he wanted.Continue Reading

Is He Just a Player?

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Woman upset at her crush with other girl on a sunny day
I really feel like I was played.

This week, I'm answering a letter from one of our gorgeous readers, who has chosen to call herself "Pieces of Me" (which I've shortened to Pieces). She feels like the guy she's been with for 6 years has only been playing her, with no intention of any real commitment.

Here's her story:

Jane, why is it so hard for me to let this guy go? Clearly he has moved on with his life... :((

This has been an on again off again somewhat relationship for the past 6 years. We met on a social dating site and the way he pursued me caught my attention because he seemed confident and consistent.

Soon after we officially met in person we instantly hit it off, but shortly after we became "official" the communication began to dwindle. I would bring it to his attention and because of our work schedules and me having kids it began to make it hard.

He never took me out all we ever did was hang out at his house, he always had an issue with money and he didn't have a car but I understood and really didn't make a big deal out of it, but after a while I began to feel insecure like did he really love me the way he said he did? Was he ashamed to be seen with me in public?Continue Reading

Never Her; YOU!

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Portrait of young happy woman in front of couple embracing each other
What does she have that I don't have?

It wasn’t the first time it happened.

He told me I was everything he wanted in a woman. He went so far as calling me the perfect woman for him. And then he chose her.

Her.

The first time it happened, I was naïve. So naïve.

Unbeknownst to me, I still had so much to learn. He told me he couldn’t believe his luck that he found me. The more we talked, the more in depth we got, the more we got to know each other, the more I was sure that I had found my soul mate.

Naïve, I know.

But what was even more significant was that right around the time we were getting to know each other on such a deep level, he confided to me that there was another woman who he was interested in.  I was devastated.

What did she have that I didn’t?Continue Reading

Something Greater than Heartbreak

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The word trust spelled out in letter cubes.
One little word that's so very important.

I’m convinced there’s a lesson in here for us.

That somewhere in the midst of all our heartbreak, all our regrets and beating ourselves up and second guessing what we should have/could have/would have known and done differently with at the time if we possibly could have known better, there’s something greater at stake.

Trust.

That little word. That really, really important word that we automatically assume has to do with him.

But no, this time I’m not.

I’m talking about something ever more important than trusting another human being. I’m talking about trusting ourselves.

The more women I work with, the more people I come into contact with who share their stories with me when I tell them about the mission I’m on to empower women to find the love they deserve, the more convinced I’ve become that what we’re really doing is rediscovering something we’ve long forgotten.Continue Reading

What Do I Do When He Says He Wants A Break?

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A woman is upset, with her head in her hands, because her boyfriend says he wants a break.
He says he wants a 3 to 4 month break!

Our letter this week comes from our beautiful friend, Madeleine, whose boyfriend of 4 months has suddenly pulled away.

Her Question:

Hi Jane,

I have just discovered your website and videos and they are amazing!

Here is my situation: I dated a guy for 4 months and really liked him.

Mid-July he came over to my place to tell me that he felt disconnected and needed a 3/4 month break without communication at all to see how he really feels about me.

He also said that it did not mean that it was over but he just needed a break as he is going through a lot and he feels lost at the moment.Continue Reading

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