Getting to TRUE Love

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But I Love Him

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A beautiful woman sits on a beach thinking about her absentee boyfriend, wondering why she loves him so much.
But that feeling is so strong!

What's to love?

What really is so loveable about him?

Is it the way he treats you?

Is it because he behaves so lovingly towards you?

Or is it instead, because of the feeling you have when you're with him?

In that short time span, it feels like you've found everything you've ever wanted in a guy. The way he makes you feel. The excitement he brings to your life, your world, just by being with him. But is it really about him at all, or simply the feeling that you get from being around him because of everything you believe to be true about love, but what in reality, isn't about love, but about trying to make someone love you?Continue Reading

Daddy's Little Girl

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A little girl holds her father's hand while at the beach.You're a little girl again.

He's coming in the door after work. You run as fast as your tiny legs can carry you to meet him. He catches you in his arms, picks you up and swings you around. You're daddy's girl; he adores you.

He comes over to your little play kitchen where you've made some special pretend cookies for just the two of you to share. He sits down at your little table and you pretend to eat them together.Continue Reading

The Real Story Behind Why You're STILL Chasing Him

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A beautiful woman is on the phone flirting with a guy she is chasing.
Why are you the only one?

Why do we do the chasing at all? Why are we still chasing him? Why can't we seem to stop, no matter how much we know we should?

Because we're scared.

If we don't chase him, we're scared he won't chase us. And then at least this way, we can feel in control, like we're actually doing something.

But there's a problem with this kind of thinking. Because when we do this, we don't allow him to do what he's biologically programmed to do (what he actually wants to do) – chase you!

We miss this part because of our own fear. We don't give him a chance to chase us because we're not sure he will.Continue Reading

The Disappearing Boyfriend

42 Comments

A beautiful woman looks out over the beach, wondering why her boyfriend suddenly disappeared.
Things were going great, then he suddenly disappeared!

Our beautiful friend, Kaya, was in what she thought was a great relationship, only to have him completely disappear on her, claiming that she did something he's mad about (but won't tell her what it was).

Here's her story:

Hi Jane,

I must admit I love reading your posts. They are very informative, inspirational and helpful.

I was wondering if you could help me figure out a problem I am currently experiencing.

I met a guy few months ago and we started dating. Everything was great as we both wanted a mature, committed relationship and we both have similar life goals about the future. He officially called me his girlfriend and was planning to take me to his sister's wedding in July.

He made it clear how much he likes me and how much he enjoys his time with me. Every aspect of our relationship was amazing.

Last weekend after he went to work he never called me or texted me (he usually does) so I was a bit worried. After several days of failed attempts to contact him he finally texted me that he is mad at me but doesn't tell me why.Continue Reading

Does He Ever Commit?

60 Comments

A man sits leaning his head on his arm looking away, afraid of commitment.
Will he ever come around?

Does he ever get past this?

This not committing, but not ending things either.

This limbo.

This one foot in your world, and one foot in another. This leaving you hanging, without a crystal ball.

Will he? Or Won’t he?

And what we most want to know; is it worth waiting it out?Continue Reading

Was My Impulsive Emotional "Good Bye" Text The Reason It Ended?

30 Comments

A beautiful woman sits in a window looking at her phone wondering if her text ended the relationship.
I don't expect to hear from him again and know I have to move on.

One of our many beautiful friends, who has chosen to remain anonymous (she has signed her letter "So Regretful"), is wondering if the emotional text that she sent to him caused their relationship to end.

Here's her story:

Dear Jane,

Someone I knew contacted me out of the blue after 20 years.

We were only friends then, never dated. He said he never stopped thinking about me and although he has a girlfriend  he said he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. I had always thought about him as well.

Right off the bat he asked me to be patient with him so he could get things sorted out. He kept calling and texting me all the time. After 8 months of asking when I would be able to see him, I pushed the point and we finally met for lunch. It was great and the mutual attraction was definitely there.

We talked about being together in the future, our likes, dislikes, etc..

The holidays came and went and his texts became more infrequent and the calls stopped. He apologized and said he had so much going on but that his feelings had not changed. We continued to text but no calls.Continue Reading

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