You've been living like this for far too long. You keep thinking things are going to get better, hanging on to those little things that just keep you hanging on. Until finally it becomes clear that things aren't getting better, he isn't coming around, you're still giving way more than you're getting out of this relationship.
And yet, there are the wonderful things. The amazing times you have together. Those occasional times when he actually does something romantic.
And when it's good, it's really good.
Unfortunately, there just aren't that many of these really good, really great times, and as much as you try to keep it going, you're wondering if you're really just wasting your time as the clock keeps ticking and you're not any closer to that elusive commitment you're looking for from him.
That question keeps popping up: should you stay or should you leave? Should you give it a little more time? And if so, how much? You just want someone to tell you what to do, give you some assurance that you're doing the right thing. But everyone you talk to gives you a different answer until you are completely confused as to what to do. Well, I have good news for you.
It's really not that complicated.
It begins with asking yourself some questions that require some honest answers. Really honest answers. The kind that comes from doing some serious soul searching into why you are in a relationship like this in the first place.
So grab a notebook and a cup of your favorite calming tea, put on some of your favorite soft music, maybe turn down the lights and light a candle, and get ready to be totally and completely honest with yourself. Remember, you are the only person who will see your answers to these questions, so there's no point in kidding yourself.
1.) Do you feel like you are settling?
2.) What are you getting out of this relationship that you can't get outside of it?
3.) Can you talk about any of this to him? Will he listen? Will he really hear you?
4.) Do you believe you deserve nothing more than this? If so, why don't you believe you deserve better than this?
5.) If he never changes, and if this is what your relationship is going to look like with him in the future as well as the present (because this is most likely the case), are you OK with this?
6.) Do you think he will truly care if you leave?
7.) Are you getting back as much out of this relationship as you are giving?
8.) Are you in this relationship because of love or because of fear? Do you feel that even as bad as it is, it's still better than being single?
9.) Does he or the relationship bring you to tears often? If so, is he really worth it?
Ultimately, you are the only one who can answer these questions and decide whether or not this relationship is worth it for you to continue to remain in. No matter what anyone else thinks, you are the one that has to be all right with whatever decision you make, and no one can make that decision for you.
Just make sure that in whatever decision you make, you are choosing you first, my beautiful friend.