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Do Nice Guys Really Finish Last?

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A nice guy is holding a gift for his girlfriend.
He's a great guy, but I feel like I'm missing that love that makes you feel alive.

One of our beautiful readers, Kitt, is wondering if she should go for the nice guy, or if she's settling.

Here's her email:

Hi Jane. So glad I found your blog! It has given me great insight. I hope hearing from you can give me guidance. Here goes.

I was with my ex for 4.5 years.

The relationship has its ups and downs but overall one that had me alive and thinking he was the man and only one I would marry. My soulmate. We were so compatible on many levels, great sex and I love being with him.

I have always told him 3 years since I was 30 at the time on whether we would should know to take the next step or not. Of course that was a mistake but I realized he had commitment issues. 3 years came and no next step till I ended things and moved back to NY from CA.

He chased me to NY and proposed.Continue Reading

The One Question Only You Can Answer

46 Comments

A beautiful woman sits on a couch away from her boyfriend, wondering if she can live with this.
At some point, you have to ask yourself this one question.

It happened to me.

And it happens to every one of us every time we're not honest with the one person who always gets her way in the end; our true selves.

We can't live a lie.

We can't pretend we can do this if we can't. We can't go along with someone else's terms if they're in conflict with our own. We simply can't do this because something deep down inside us won't let us.Continue Reading

Ugh! He Has, Once Again, Completely Disappeared!

18 Comments

A woman has her head in her hands because her boyfriend has disappeared again.
I need to learn how to end this cycle!

One of our dear friends, Kim, has been in a relationship with a guy that keeps on disappearing on her.

Here's her email:

Hi Jane:

I read your article 'Why you're attracting Emotionally Unavailable Men' and it motivated me to take action with your Weekly Love Steps program.

I am well versed in working with steps as I’m in recovery through AA, and have been sober now for 19 months after spending 10 months in limbo relapsing, and trying my best to be a social drinker but thankfully am an alcoholic and believe that today.

It has been an incredible, life changing journey filled with misery and confusion at first and now an entirely new perspective on the world.Continue Reading

The One Little Action That Changes Everything

33 Comments

A beautiful woman is questioning her pre-programmed beliefs
It's time to question everything.

Sometimes my inspiration comes in the middle of the night. When I'm awakened for no apparent reason and can't get back to sleep. I used to resist these times as I so value my sleep, but I'm learning to roll with it because I'm finding that some of my best writing comes during these times, when I turn my thoughts to what you most need to hear from me.

How can I reach you? How can I give you more of what you need? These are the questions that come into my mind when I lay down but sleep is not forthcoming.

And this is why I say you never cry alone, because there is someone thinking of you even in the middle of the night, wherever you happen to be and whatever you happen to be going through.

It was on just such a night, as I threw around some words and ideas in my head to see what might become more clear to me, two words appeared that grew into so much more.Continue Reading

The Top 6 Things You Can Do to Survive the Holidays When You’re Single

9 Comments

A beautiful woman is sad because she's spending the holidays alone.
I know what it's like to be alone during the holidays.

I remember how excited I would be if I met someone who showed some real relationship potential in the months or even weeks leading up to the holiday season.

Finally! This Christmas I might actually be a part of a relationship - a couple!

I might actually have someone to show up with me for the office holiday party and family Christmas gathering! Someone to exchange romantic gifts with and to snuggle with in the cold nights; to kiss under the mistletoe.

And the best part was that I’d have someone to spend New Year’s Eve with – it wouldn’t just be another year with me babysitting my nephews so my sister and her husband could celebrate their togetherness (as much as I loved being Auntie Jane, seriously - they could find another babysitter for one night!)

But most years the timing didn’t work out and I was, once again, alone for the holidays.Continue Reading

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