Finding your YOU that leads to TWO
You're stumped.
You've tried everything.
You know who you are. You know what you want. You know what you don't.
You're going out to all the right places. You're doing all the right things.
You're following all my very best advice.
"What am I missing?!!" It's the one question I hear so often.
You can't figure it out, no matter how hard you try. But somewhere, underneath everything you can see and touch and feel, it's there.
What is it?Continue Reading
My husband and I couldn't be more opposite in so many ways. I often say that he is everything I'm not, and I'm everything he's not. But when I talk about that, I'm talking about the practical day to day type things.
His strengths are in areas that I used to view as my weaknesses.
But the truth is, as much as we are opposite each other in many ways, in the things that really matter – like values, like morals, like our parenting styles, like our communication styles – we're anything but opposite.
We may drive each other crazy sometimes (and yes, we do!) with his attention to detail and my insistence on looking at the big picture, but when it comes right down to it, it's the very things that are so different from me that I appreciate so much about him.Continue Reading
It's that time of year again - the season that brings up so many mixed feelings. On the one hand, it's a time of excitement and joy; on the other, we're often filled with melancholy and loneliness, particularly when we don't have someone special in our lives.
Yes, it's the holidays.
If you're at all like I was (and I know you are), you approach the holidays so idealistically, overflowing with optimism. We always go into it believing that this time things will be different. Better.
This time, your mom will really hear what you're saying. This time you and your dad will really connect and share some special moments. This time your uncle will stop ribbing you about being "still single". This time there won't be family arguments after (or during) dinner.
And then there's what I like to call the dream.
This time, we think, he's going to finally realize what he's got in you, and he's going to want a committed relationship.
You can picture it in your mind so vividly:
He comes walking up the path to your front door, a dozen red roses in hand, tears in his eyes. "I've been such a fool" he says.Continue Reading
You know that dream you have of happily ever after?
Well, I have some good news for you: There really is a happily ever after. It exists.
It’s just different from the book and movie versions we all grew up with.
The ones in the stories read aloud to us as children and the versions based on the same themes we later watched on television and in movie theaters as we grew older. Whatever the particular story, they all had the same ending we would come to expect and look forward to: the one that ended with the prince sweeping the damsel in distress off her feet and the final words, whether they were spoken or simply implied, "… and they lived happily ever after".
It wasn't until much later in life that I began to wonder, "How?"
Because after so many failed attempts at my own version of these same fairy tales that seemed so elusive to me, it became the question I so desperately wanted to know the answer to. "What happened next?"
But of course, that’s where the story always ended and we never heard what really happened after they got together. After the glow of the initial attraction was no longer the only thing each other saw, and the real story played out.
I often find inspiration for my articles and posts in unexpected ways from sources I don't always anticipate. Yes, I get tons and tons of inspiration from your comments, your letters, your facebook posts and messages and from the wonderful conversations within the community we've built here. But sometimes it comes right out of left field.
The inspiration for this post came the other day while I was on hold.
Instead of the usual "elevator" music, this time I found myself listening to a song I hadn't heard since my early single days (and it was considered an oldie even then).
"I want you (I want you...), I need you (I need you...), but there ain't no way I'm ever gonna love you; Now don't be sad (don't be sad...), cause two out of three ain't bad."
With a bit of a jolt, it all came rushing back to me.
I used to love this song!
I'd belt it out at the top of my lungs in the car (with the windows up), in the shower, or whenever it came on the radio and I happened to be in a place where I felt free to sing out loud.
But now with all I knew and everything I'd learned and all the cultural programming – including songs just like this – behind all the ideals I used to hold onto, I listened to the words in disbelief.
Wait - what?Continue Reading
We say or do something we regret. We long for the chance to have a second chance to do it differently. We feel like we missed out on some amazing opportunity.
And then the worst damage we can ever do to ourselves begins; we beat ourselves up and label ourselves as damaged goods.
Oh we might come across on the surface like everything's OK, but only because we've learned over so many years how to play that part so well.
But inside, it's a different story.
We're mortified that we didn't handle the situation better, that we didn't listen to what we knew we should have done differently.
What's wrong with me? You wonder.
Why can't I ever get this right?
Why can't I be more like her [insert name of friend you secretly wish you were]?Continue Reading
Recent Comments