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I’m stuck. And Sad. I Need to Get Out.

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Beautiful woman sad sitting on the window sill and painting on glass feeling heartbroken because it's hard to move on.
I know I need to let go, but it's hard to move on.

We’ve got a beautiful sister who’s feeling stuck and sad, saying she needs to get out. She knows what she needs to do, but she needs our help and support to show her the way. She signed her letter "Anonymous", so I've called her "Ashley."

Here’s her letter:

Hi Jane.

I’ve been reading a lot of your posts / comments and I realized they sometimes give me lightbulb moments enough to nudge me forward. But they also make me cringe when I realize that some of them feel like it’s me the article is about.

I’m stuck. And I really need help.

I knew this guy from a dating app. It was instant attraction and chemistry. He was super keen and all that, so much so I started to believe he could be the one after all.Continue Reading

Why He Suddenly Changes After 3 to 4 Months

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Sand passing through the glass bulbs of an hourglass measuring the passing time representing wasting time in a dead end relationship with a man who won't commit.
Why does it always happen at the same time?

We talk a lot on here about the man who comes on strong. The knight in shining armor type of guy who comes in and sweeps us off our feet before we even realize what’s happening.

We may not even notice him at first, because it’s not only about his looks or his physical attributes.

No, this one takes us completely by surprise because, overwhelmingly, most of the time we don’t even see it coming.

We’re a little aloof at first, cautious even. After all, we’ve been warned about this type of guy. The type who jumps in too fast, who wants to take everything to the next level faster than the relationship calls for, the one who simply can’t seem to get enough of you.Continue Reading

Is It Me?

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Beautiful brunette woman thinking, tired, wondering if she's the one with commitment issues.
Am I the one with commitment issues?

It's a question I've gotten from so many of my coaching clients, I've decided to address it here on the blog.

If all of the men you date have a problem with commitment, does that mean it's actually YOU who has a problem with commitment?

There’s a difference here that I want to point out. You’re here and he’s not. That’s a significant difference because it reveals one very important thing; you’re at least open to having this conversation, however difficult it may be.

Why is that such an important distinction? Because it forms the basis of all our growth in every single one of our relationships!Continue Reading

He Won't Commit (and Do I Really Want Him To?)

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An eraser erasing the word commitment from the paper, symboliizing a man who won't commit.
He'd be happy to just keep me as his "weekend girlfriend" for years.

This week, beautiful Lee writes about her long term partner whose commitment issues are causing her to have some trust issues with him.

Here's her email:

I've been exclusively dating my guy for nearly 18 months.

It was only after we'd been going out for 3 months that I found out he had been separated for nearly 18 years, but never divorced. He knows I thought he was divorced and I wouldn't have gone out with him if I'd known he was only separated.

He goes on about how he never said he was divorced, but he said "my wife wanted the divorce," and naturally I thought he meant it had gone ahead.

He said he'd never pursued the divorce because of his daughter - now aged 23 - as he felt bad about leaving when she was very young. But the wife had told him to go, although he realises she thought he'd probably return and be totally subservient.Continue Reading

He Says He Wants to Marry Me, But Something Always Seems to Happen

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A beautiful woman is sitting on the couch upset because she wants to be married and have children and her boyfriend does not want marriage.
I'm sick of it, but I really care for him...

This week, beautiful Kimberly writes to tell us about her (very) long term relationship with a man who just can't seem to commit to marriage with her.

Here's what she wrote:

I've been in a relationship for over 8 years. Well there's been a lot of stuff that has happened between us.

Today we aren't getting along at all. He lives with his mother and has a daughter who had kids. His daughter is 30 and the fathers of these kids will not have anything to do with the kids.

This guy has said he wants to marry me over the years and something always seem to happen to him that he won't marry me.

He acts like all he wants to do is be with his grandchildren and will make no time to build a relationship with us. There's nothing wrong with his daughter that she can't take care of her 2 kids but over the past 1.5 years we fight about this all the time.Continue Reading

This Will Make Him Want to Commit, But…

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Man lies on the couch while his girlfriend is upset with him because he's emotionally unavailable.
It's only ever been this.

 

There’s a question you have to ask yourself before you stay one more day in a relationship waiting for a man who isn’t committing to you.

I know why you’re waiting. I know you see enough good in him, enough potential in him to make him worth the wait.

But you’re not doing yourself any favors and wasting a whole lot of your life and time right now if you can’t answer this with anything but a definitive “yes”.

If he NEVER changes, do you still want him?Continue Reading

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