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3 Things You Need to Do When the Truth is Staring You In the Face But You Can’t Yet See It

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A beautiful woman leans against a tree wondering if he will ever want a committed relationship with her.
I'm so scared to lose him I feel sick!

The letter this week comes from beautiful Maria, who's desperately afraid of losing her boyfriend.

Here's her letter:

My boyfriend and I haven't been together very long.

We'd known each other three years and did not like each other at all until recently. We started talking and just connected emotionally.

I was actually helping him out with another girl who was a family friend of his and who happened to like him back and it got complicated. He liked me and her at the same time and couldn't choose even after knowing we both liked him (but neither had confessed to him), when I finally decided to cut the crap and I called him and confessed my feelings.

I am a straight to the point person and I told him directly that I liked him but I was pretty sure that he liked her because he couldn't choose between us after all.

I felt like I was in the way and I told him to just ask her out already but he didn't. And the next day we talked it out and were finally on the same page and he chose me.Continue Reading

Letting Go of Yesterday

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A woman holding a dandelion in her hand blowing it away making a wish, signifying letting go.
This is how you let it go.

Keep going. Keep moving. Keep walking. Don’t look back.

You’re going to be okay.

You’re going to get through this.

You’ve got this!

Whatever our mantra happens to be, they all say the same thing.

Let go. Leave it in the past. Don’t keep holding on so tightly to what you should have said or done.

But the problem is that for all our well-intentioned words of inspiration and support, nothing cuts to the heart of how we actually feel.

As in trapped.Continue Reading

It's Fantastic, But Then He Acts Weird and Distant

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A beautiful woman sits across from a man during a date that she doesn't want to be on.
As soon as he knows I'm done with the games, he pulls me back in.

Gorgeous Maria keeps getting pulled back into a relationship, only to have him pull away and get distant again.

Here's what she wrote:

Hi Jane, thank you in advance.

I'm trying to figure out why my ex won't let go of me all together.

And why does he act weird/distant when it comes to us actually meeting for dinner or even visiting him out of town where he lives.

As soon as he knows I'm done with his games he leaves me alone for a week or so, then calls. We have fantastic conversations. When we text or call/face time it's fantastic. But when he sees me  face to face he gets weird cold feet.Continue Reading

The Only Way To Move On

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A woman hiking through a heart shaped cave symbolizing going through heartbreak.
See your own beautiful heart. Hear your own drum that you move to.

He wasn’t the right one.

He was only in my life to teach me a lesson.

He wasn’t good enough for me.

He couldn’t give me what I know I deserve.

Whatever way we put it, the words don’t change what we feel in our hearts. We’re alone again.

He’s fine. He’s moving on. He’s not sitting back lamenting what could have been or trying to figure out how to get us back. His logical mind knows everything you know, but in his case, it’s enough for him to know it’s the best thing for the both of you.

But for you, it’s not.Continue Reading

I Want to Let Go But He Still Has My Heart

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Woman one the beach reflecting on letting go.
I'm so confused about whether I should do something or not.

One of our gorgeous readers, Heather, is having a hard time letting go of a relationship that she knows is not what she wants.

Here's her letter:

Hi Jane!

I've been following you for a little while. I find your explanations and responses very comforting...so thank you!

I'm going to try to summarize this as best I can.

I met a man almost 3 years ago who changed my world. We were together for almost 2 years with a brief break in the middle. Our issue then and what ended up breaking us up was the issue of having kids.

He's 10 years older than me. He has 3 foster kids and didn't want to have anymore. I wasn't ready to give up on the idea of having kids so we split.

We didn't talk for a little while after the break up but then ended up staying in contact until about a month ago.Continue Reading

I Am Strong, But Not So Strong

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A beautiful woman looks out a window wondering why she is not strong.
I feel so weak because I can't let go.

One of our gorgeous readers, Sunshine, is feeling as though she's weak because she just can't seem to let go.

Here's her story:

Dear Jane,

I have been reading your blog for over two years and the moment I was feeling very strong something happened to me.

I met him in a dance class. I am 36 and he is 27.

He found me next day on fb and messaged me saying how much he liked dancing with me. We started chatting and then he asked me out.

We went to five dates without any sex and he started to act like a boyfriend soon, picking me from home, texting constantly about me and my day. Finally we had sex and quickly became a couple.Continue Reading

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