Getting to TRUE Love

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A Few Things We All Need to Do

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Beautiful, happy, smiling woman lying on the field in green grass.
Smile. You'll change the world.

You say you're done with all the rest.

You say you're ready to find the love you've been searching for, like, forever.

But do you really mean it?

It's time to start living like you mean what you say!

No more excuses, no more putting your love life on hold while the days slip away.

Yes, it's going to require some work on your part. But this is one where you set the pace. How quickly you want this to happen for you is completely up to you!

It's time to start paying attention – really listening - to that self-talk you do every day. Start noticing everything you do and say that isn't the truth about you. Everything that's someone else's version of you, someone else's story that's been put on you.Continue Reading

Forbidden Love

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Silhouette of a woman and a man about to kiss, symbolizing love.
I'm making the decision each and every time to see him.

This week, beautiful Maree writes to tell her story of "forbidden love".

Here's what she wrote:

Hi Jane,

I am in a very wierd situation at the moment and the pull is too strong for me to see reality.

I have met an amazing young man 19 years younger...I am 44 he is 25.

I have never felt so at ease so myself so comfortable and connected as I do with him. We haven't had sex but there is a lot of fire and passion when we kiss...so even on a physical level we are deeply attracted.

So now...here is the problem...I feel so ashamed to say it...but I need to share...he is the elder brother of my daughters boyfriend...I know...it is sickly and not done. AND I SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF MYSELF!!!

My daughter means everthing to me!! And yet I am making the decision each and every time to see him...

Please wake me up and slap me out of this!!Continue Reading

What No One Ever Tells You About Real Love

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Close up of man and woman holding hands in the sunset.
It's the part about real love they left out.

I wasn’t real.

They, on the other hand, might have been. But I would never know.

Because until I was able to get real, nothing was real. What I came face to face with was the reality that I didn’t know how to be real. I was too busy trying to be perfect.

Trying to figure out what it was they wanted me to be and then being that. Trying to prove my worthiness, my perfectness, my "perfect girlfriend-ness".

That’s all I knew. And that’s what I thought mattered.

I knew I wanted someone to choose me, to make me feel like something. To give a life to fit into. To give me a world to fit into and a role to play. To give me the instruction sheet on how to do a relationship.

Just tell me what you want me to be and I’ll be it.  Continue Reading

Why Taking the Pressure Off Is Your Fastest Route to Love!

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Ballroom dance floor abstract, digital painting in red, purple, white, blue, tan.
It's tiime to set yourself free!

There’s a song I used to love belting out the lyrics to – never mind that it was sung by a sensitive, soft-spoken man with a perm who could have been old enough to be my dad.

When I heard the words and looked up the lyrics to make sure I had them right, they resonated with me in a way that nothing had before.

It didn’t matter that I was only in my twenties myself. It didn’t matter that I was probably the last person he imagined identifying with them and he certainly hadn’t written them for someone like me.

What mattered was that in my twenties I felt old.

I had always been an old soul. I knew more and felt more and understood more than most anyone my age, and almost all of my friends and boyfriends had always been much older than me. So when first heard the song, I understood from my old soul standpoint just like everyone who it was actually intended for would.Continue Reading

What I Want You To Remember This Holiday Season

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Beautiful woman outdoors in frosty winter park with snowflakes.
If you only remember one thing, make it this.

There's a reason I’m here, doing what I do.

To remind you of what you can’t see from where you are now. To remind you of your power. To remind you of your beauty.

To remind you that the only reason you can’t see what I can see is because you haven’t come to the part yet where you prove yourself wrong.

Because without proof, you can’t believe it. Without proof, it’s the hardest thing to believe what you can’t yet see.

So my message to you today as we go about celebrating the holidays in whatever way you celebrate, is to stop believing what you’ve been believing about yourself every time another holiday season comes around.Continue Reading

Confused, Hopeless and Ready to Give Up

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A beautiful woman sits on a bench, looking discouraged, wondering if it will ever work out.
I’m getting to the point where I feel like I might as well give up.

One of our beautiful readers, Abbie, writes to tell us about the confusion she's feeling with all the different dating advice out there.

Here's her email:

Dear Jane,

I’m so confused.

There are so many rules out there, I’m having a hard time figuring out what I need to listen to and what I don’t.

I keep working on myself, reading up on what I need to do, but I’m getting to the point where I feel like I might as well give up on ever finding someone because for all the work I do on myself, it never seems to be enough!

Then I end up feeling like there’s something wrong with me because nothing ever works out like it’s supposed to.

Can you help me?

-AbbieContinue Reading

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