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I was once that girl, too.

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A woman is upset, with her head in her hands, because her boyfriend says he wants a break.
I wish someone had told me this.

I was once that girl with a traumatized heart and soul, with the harshest lessons learned about love and sex and life. I feel your pain, every part of it that you're going through.

I was once that girl, too.

But I know something more from going it through it than I could ever have known then. There's so much more for you in spite of - and even because of - what you've been through.

So I say to you what I wish someone could have said to me back when I walked in similar shoes.

Love hasn't left you behind.

Love hasn't forgotten about you.

You did the best you could with what you knew. Continue Reading

There's what HE SHOULD be doing & then there's what YOU can live with NOT doing

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Closeup of a beautiful woman is looking sad becasue her boyfriend has disappeared on her and she wants closure.
Because living with regret is much worse.

You already know he should be the one reaching out. And yeah, you shouldn't have to be the bigger person here. But we're not talking about hypotheticals here; we're talking about you.

And if it's your heart that's breaking and you're the only one who's capable of feeling anything, this is your window to do something about it.

He'll move on. He'll find someone else who accepts him just as he is even as she's nothing like you and never will be.

I've seen this play out too many times.

But we're not talking about him here, we're talking about you. You're the one who has to live with your regrets, not your friends telling you to dump him, that you deserve so much more than what you're putting up with.

I tell you that!Continue Reading

You know that relationship that broke your heart? Yeah, that one ...

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Beautiful woman looking out the window on a rainy day, wondering if it serves her.
This is the one that made that difference.

Don't you dare discount this relationship that didn't work out, that broke your heart as having happened for no reason at all.

It may not have turned out the way you hoped it would be. It might not have lived up to its potential that only you could see.

But girl, it wasn't nothing.

Don't ever discount each and every one of the relationships and experiences you've gone through as nothing. That has the effect of making you feel like nothing is happening behind the scenes for you.

That's NOT what's going on. Even if you can't see anything happening yet, that's still not what's going on.

Here's why I'm bringing this up right now. See, this woman I've been coaching for awhile now has been through just about everything. Every type of guy, especially the "so much potential" kind.Continue Reading

Did I seriously do anything wrong?

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Sad beautiful woman checking phone after boyfriend broke up with her over text.
He was so cold, so cruel.

We'd been talking about the guy who just broke up with her so coldly. He ended it over a text message, then blocked her.

It felt so cold. So cruel.

And like most of us who, looking back, can see that there were warning signs we ignored because we didn't want to see them, the reality is, she didn't deserve this kind of an ending without answers, without a chance to have an actual conversation.

And yet, this is where she is.

So on a particularly hard day, her birthday, when her hopes that he might reach out and send her a text or something, and she got nothing from him, she wrote to me to ask the same question that I hear from so many of you.

Did I seriously do anything wrong? From what you know of the situation with my ex, and knowing me....did I seriously do anything wrong?Continue Reading

I Don't Understand How He Could Walk Away From This

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A beautiful woman leans her head against the wall, sad about her breakup.
I can't help but wonder if he'll come back.

Gorgeous Wanda had a great relationship with amazing chemistry and a strong emotional connection, but now he's saying he can't commit and doesn't want a relationship. She's trying to understand what happened.

Here's what she wrote:

Hi Jane,

Thank you for providing all your great content - your articles have been so helpful. I think my story is similar to many that you have shared, but I'm hoping you can be helpful with this situation.

Here's my story: I was dating a man, and the first 2 months were perfect... honestly maybe too perfect.

He was consistently making an effort and told me how much he liked me. We had instant chemistry and a really strong emotional connection. I truly think we both thought we were a good match in terms of personality, values, chemistry, etc.

At ~2 months in, he was honest about his concerns that he wouldn't be able to commit/offer enough to a relationship at that time. Long story short, we decided to keep dating anyway, both with the hope that things would get better.Continue Reading

Should I Remind Him He Said He Would Tell Me Why?

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A beautiful woman is holding her hair back with her hands, wondering if she was a hot mess.
I just need to know why!

Our letter this week comes from Paula, who's feeling heartbroken over the loss of the man she experienced such amazing chemistry with in a long-distance relationship. He said he was going to meet up with her and talk in three weeks time, so she wants to know if she should reach out to remind him.

Here's her story:

Hi Jane,

I'm 42 years old. I met a man, 46 years old, on Dec. 23 of last year.

For two weeks we met on the beach in the morning or in the evening-had dinner and drinks or a walk by the beach, talking about ourselves, kissing each other - there was extreme chemistry between us.

After two weeks, we had time to be together and had an amazing time. This man lives 900 km from me.

We were in touch almost every day by messages, half of them initiated by him. We have met again every second week after because he flies here to be with his children. I have one child, I'm a single mum.Continue Reading

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