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I Feel Like I Did Everything Right, and He Still Disappeared!

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A sign post saying perfectly right.
I just don't get it - I thought I did everything right!

Our beautiful friend, Vera, feels like she did everything right this time, making sure that she wasn't pushing him away. But he still got distant and started pulling away!

Here's what she wrote:

I am no stranger to a guy pulling away and when I look back at every guy who did I realize what I did wrong to push them away.

This time it is different.

I met this guy online and from the moment we met I let him take the lead and act like the man. I NEVER once initiated contact, I did not come off as clingy or needy, I purposely said I had plans when I didn't just so it would look I was not available every time he wanted.

We dated for about 3 months and never slept together. I never at one point thought that he was after sex. He would always ask me out on actual dates and take me to  nice restaurants or movies. He always went out of the way to pick me up at my house and never pushed for me to let him come in. He is a doctor and still managed once a day to be in contact with me.

The holidays came and went and that is where things changed.Continue Reading

How Could He Just Leave Without Even Saying Goodbye?

14 Comments

A man walks down a snowy winter road.
Why did he give up?

Our beautiful friend, Tracy, has just gone through a devastating experience with an emotionally unavailable man.

Here's her story:

Hi Jane,

You helped me with my first break up with a emotionally unavailable man and your articles inspired me to keep my eyes open while dating.

I must admit for 4 months I was involved in a little mess here. But with your knowledge and clear look for signs I can now recover faster and be stronger.

Our story started with the dead end. But it could have change with the happy ending.

I met a wonderful man while he was travelling. We jumped into romance and adventure and soon after realized that this is something more than just a summer fling.

Even from the start I could see a red flag rising. He was from States, I was living in Australia. In beginning he thought he will stay here but after exploring his future options he couldn't see his career and life here in Australia.

All the immigration laws was against us.Continue Reading

Please Help Me Get Him Back

18 Comments

A woman looks at her phone wondering why he stopped texting.
He suddenly stopped texting or even responding to me!

I hear it all the time. Things started off so great - we had such chemistry, we clicked, I felt the spark! Then suddenly, everything changed...

One of our readers, City, is experiencing this right now. She confronted him about it, and now he's pulled away even more.

Here's what she wrote:

I met this guy a few months ago and we immediately clicked.

We had a connection (or so I thought ). We would talk till morning rise and we never wanted to be apart. He would  send me text messages just to let me know his thinking about me.

Every thing changed when he went home for holidays.Continue Reading

Have I Chased Him Away By Being Insecure?

28 Comments

Woman lying in bed upset, wondering if she chased him away
Did I push him away?

Our beautiful friend, Fome, is afraid she’s chased away her guy by becoming clingy, needy and acting desperate. Has she?

Here’s her story …

Dear Jane,

I just recently found your blog and it feels like every single topic you have addressed, you are speaking directly to me.

I recently got introduced to this guy through a mutual friend, around September this year. He stays abroad so we haven't met physically. We Skype everyday.

We hit it off immediately.

We both knew we wanted something serious. After about a month of talking everyday. We were already making plans to see. We talk freely about the future, settling and all.

I really like him.

When we first started. The calls were a lot frequent. We could Skype for 10hrs at a stretch on a work free day. It was beautiful.

Then later the calls began to reduce.Continue Reading

This One's for You

39 Comments

A beautiful woman leans her head against a tree, looking unsure.
They're the words you can hardly dare to breathe. Just saying them make it all too real!

This letter is for you.

The you behind the email that says all you want is to get him back.

The you who writes that you’re in too deep to just let him go even though everyone around you, maybe even including your therapist, tells you it’s time.

The you who gives so many reasons that you can’t imagine living your life without him.

The you who can’t hear anything else that anyone says about the other side of this; you only know your heart is breaking now and he’s the only one who can put it back together. It doesn’t matter how he treats you or how much you know you deserve better.

Better isn’t him.Continue Reading

Did I Make the Right Decision?

41 Comments

A woman is upset about her breakup with an emotionally unavailable man, and her two friends are consoling her.
Maybe I just needed to give it all more time

One of our beautiful readers, who has called herself "Stormy", has ended her 5 month relationship with an emotionally unavailable man, but now she's second-guessing herself.

Here's her story:

Dear Jane,

I'm thankful to God this morning for the person on my Facebook who shared your webpage.

You truly are a Godsend to me in this time of pain and heart-break I'm now going through. I've already been helped and blessed by some of the other questions and answers you've posted and I'm hoping you can offer a little advice for my situation as well.

Just yesterday, I decided to end an exclusive relationship of almost 5 months with a man I've fallen in love with. It was one of the hardest decisions I've ever made.Continue Reading

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