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You are here: Home / Archives for be true to yourself

The Problem with "Broken"

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Woman looking into a broken mirror representing her low self-esteem.
It does more damage than all our other programming combined.

There's a single word for what we've been told about ourselves that does more damage than all our other programming combined.

Amongst all the stories we've been told about who we are, where we've come from, and why we can never trust ourselves more than we can trust someone else who always knows better than we do, it's the story that tells us we're broken, that we've always been broken and we need someone or something outside of us to save us from ourselves.

Sound familiar?

The problem is that when we've accepted this as our own story for so long, we stop questioning it. And even worse, we forget we even have the right to. And we don't even see that there is a problem.

See, when you've been told you're broken, when you've been told you have to go to some being outside yourself to ask for forgiveness for the simple act of being human, you're going to have a hard time believing you're not.Continue Reading

Wondering why this seems so hard? Here's your reason.

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slender long-haired woman wearing white summer dress while walking on a green meadow towards a bright and sunny horizon.
This is how you right this wrong.

If this all seems so difficult to you, there's a reason.

It's because what we're essentially doing here is creating what we're looking for. We don't have a model for it. We haven't seen it before. We don't know what it looks like - at least not for ourselves.

We only have what we've been told it's like and what people describe to us it's going to look like when we find it.

The rest comes from us.

We have to get clear enough ourselves on what it is we're looking for so that we'll even be able to recognize it when it's in front of us.

We have to believe it's possible, by believing what we know was possible within ourselves and within people we've only heard stories about how it happened for them.

Continue Reading

Why Do I Have to Do All This Work? Why Not Her?

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A beautiful woman looks in a mirror wanting it to be the way it was.
It begins right here, looking in the mirror.

I’ve been thinking about you.

Thinking about how to put into words the core meaning of my message to you.

Yes, it’s about finding out who you are and shedding old programming, etc. But the question you explicity ask is the one that needs more of an answer to get to the real root of what I’m talking about.

Why? Why do I HAVE to do this work? Why does SHE get to find love, get married, find someone to love her for who she is? Why does SHE get him without doing all the work? Why do I HAVE to go on this journey to figure out who I am FIRST?

Why me? Why not HER?

We're angry. So angry. Most of which we’re not even aware of.

But we can’t be angry. We may get sad, but we don’t do angry. Maybe frustrated – as we’ve learned to downplay it because it won’t fit the good little girl image we have to uphold at all costs - but not angry. Because that’s scary.Continue Reading

Look for THIS Instead

4 Comments

A beautiful woman looks in a mirror wanting it to be the way it was.
It's time to stop second-guessing yourself.

Life is messy.

Relationships aren't fantasies.

Who you are and who he is are products of years of programming - mostly the subconsious kind neither one of you are even aware of.

Do yourself a huge favor right now (before you're in over your head) and choose someone who's on the same page as you. Someone who understands real vs. perfect and chooses real. I can't stress this point strongly enough; you only want to be with someone who you don't have to be anything but yourself around.

It's hard enough to make a relationship last for the long term in the very best of circumstances!Continue Reading

Panic Attacks

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A beautiful woman has her eyes closed representing a panic attack.
Her words brought it all rushing back to me.

I had my first panic attack when I was 18.

It was Thanksgiving weekend and I was the passenger in a car of girls driving back from my girlfriend’s family home in Northern California on the 5 Freeway, along with everyone else headed back to SoCal post holiday.

I was living in Southern California at the time, attending Biola University, on a PK (Pastor’s kid) scholarship. My own family celebrated our Canadian Thanksgiving a month earlier, so my friend had included me in her family plans.

The girl in the backseat who was carpooling with us – she was a childhood friend of my new friend and lived around the corner from her although she went to a different SoCal university, she picked up on who I was immediately.Continue Reading

Exactly Who You Are

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Beautiful young woman with long hair lying on the grass
What if you could look at it another way?

You say “no”.

You say “not me”.

You laugh. You smirk. You dig in.

But what you don’t see is that you’re exactly the one I’m trying to reach.

What you don’t see is that you’re precisely the one I’ve been looking for. It’s your cynicism that speaks volumes to me. Instead of pushing me away, you make me want to run to you even more.

See, I know how this works.

I know you think you do. I know you think you’ve got this all figured out. But what I see behind your words, behind every single one of your well-rehearsed defenses, gives you away.Continue Reading

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About Jane Garapick

Hi, I'm Jane Garapick. I'm here to provide inspiration, support and empowerment on the journey to true love. I know what it’s like to have a broken heart, a broken dream, and a broken you. And I know for a fact, that your dreams can still come true! Read more...
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