Getting to TRUE Love

Finding your YOU that leads to TWO

Why Do I Still Feel Like I Love Him?

17 Comments

A beautiful woman sits on a park bench wondering why she loves him.
I feel like I'm just punishing myself when I contact him.

Beautiful Kim writes to tell us about an emotionally unavailable man that she's fallen for.

Here's her email:

Dear Jane,

I have read your articles and wondered whether you might be able to help me.

I am a 54 year old woman. I married young and stayed married for 22 years. My husband was very controlling and so we did not have friends.

Eventually one of my sons told me to get away from him and I found the courage to leave.

I have a good job (clinical nurse manager.) I have nice girlfriends who care and support me and I live alone in a little cottage with my little dog.

For 7 years I had not felt I wanted to be with any man. Then 4 years ago I met  someone, a doctor from Poland who works 2 weeks on and has 1 or 2 weeks off when he goes home to Poland. He is 39 years old.Continue Reading

I Am Strong, But Not So Strong

11 Comments

A beautiful woman looks out a window wondering why she is not strong.
I feel so weak because I can't let go.

One of our gorgeous readers, Sunshine, is feeling as though she's weak because she just can't seem to let go.

Here's her story:

Dear Jane,

I have been reading your blog for over two years and the moment I was feeling very strong something happened to me.

I met him in a dance class. I am 36 and he is 27.

He found me next day on fb and messaged me saying how much he liked dancing with me. We started chatting and then he asked me out.

We went to five dates without any sex and he started to act like a boyfriend soon, picking me from home, texting constantly about me and my day. Finally we had sex and quickly became a couple.Continue Reading

Should I Choose Commitment Over Chemistry?

22 Comments

A beautiful woman looks at her phone feeling confused over whether she should choose commitment or chemistry.
I'm so confused! I don't know what to do...

Beautiful Melanie is feeling "dazed and confused" (her words) over whether she should choose commitment or chemistry.

Here's what she wrote:

Hi Jane,

I have been following your program for several months now and read many of your stories. I have followed your advice about an ex-boyfriend (who moved and is now long distance.)

We tried to make things work for the last year as long distance, but he had an issue with being alone and also is going through a divorce for 3 years that is still not final. He has been unable to commit to anything at this point.

We were together for a year, then he had to move for work a year ago. He lives 3 hours away.Continue Reading

Breaking the Cycle

9 Comments

Break the cycle words on rings in an endless patter to illustrate changing our programming about love.
It's time to change our subconscious programming.

There's a girl down the street who reminds me of someone I used to know. She’s barely a teenager and she’s already got the look.

The one that says "Pick me, pick me, please somebody pick me.  Make me feel of worth.  Make me feel like I’m something."

Make me feel like I matter.

Like I’m attractive. Beautiful. Worthy.

Make me feel like since you picked me I must be worth something. At least to somebody.

She's not the only one. She gets lost in the crowd there's so many of them.

She doesn’t know why she does what she does. She just knows it's what she's supposed to do. She puts herself out there like a showcase to be picked. Competing with all the others just like her, hoping it's her turn this time.Continue Reading

He's Left Me Drained and Confused

9 Comments

A beautiful woman looks confused and drained with her chin resting on her palm.
I don't know how much longer I can do this.

Beautiful Kim has been in an on-again-off-again relationship with a guy for quite a while now, and she's left feeling nothing but drained and confused. Sound familiar?

Here's her story:

Hey Jane,

So I met this guy Tommy almost 8 years ago.  When we first met he pursued me, got my number from his friends, texted me all the time etc. etc.

Long story short I have a son and had issues necessarily finding a sitter for him and had to cancel a couple dates. We stopped talking after about the 3rd time. I never once stopped thinking of him.

Over the years we have always tried re-connecting, hanging out. He is the guy that opens all the doors, buys all the drinks, says "Yes sir" and "Yes ma'am."  

When I'd get ready to leave his house he'd refuse to let me leave and wanted me to lay with him till the morning. Even saying things like "I really miss how you fit in my arms." Promising to go do things such as football games, bike rides, etc. etc.Continue Reading

He Can’t Commit to You Until He Can Do This

14 Comments

A mature couple on a date talking together in sofa
This is what he needs first.

We know how this works.

No matter how we come to it we’ve already got our answer.

I can’t become this confident, beautiful, radiant woman UNTIL he picks me.

I can’t prove I’m worthy UNTIL he validates me.

I can’t become that woman I know I’ve got the potential to become UNTIL he elevates me.

But this is where we’ve got it so backwards.

He can’t commit to something he can’t see. He can’t commit to something he doesn’t even know he’s attracted to himself. He can only commit to something he can see.Continue Reading

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