Getting to TRUE Love

Finding your YOU that leads to TWO

Can I Really Say We're In a Relationship?

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Woman lying on floor on a video call using laptop in a long distance relationship.
We video call each other often but is it really a relationship?

One of our beautiful readers, Kylie, has been dating a man virtually for over a year, but they haven't yet met in person. She's wondering if this qualifies as a real relationship.

Here's her story:

Hi Jane,

I have been  dating this guy for more than a year now  and we are in a long distance relationship. 

We basically never met each other yet the entire time we are dating. Though we do video call each other most of the time and text and call everyday, I don't feel like we are a thing because we are far away from each other.

We have been through ups and downs and it wasn't easy for the both of us but I am amazed how we always tried our best to make things work despite the distance and the problems we encounter.

We had broken up three times but he always comes back to me and he was the one who ended the relationship in the first place.Continue Reading

What a Real Relationship Really Is

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We’re going to help you get your compass pointing towards a real relationship.

Just for a moment, I want you to forget about everything you think you know about what a real, healthy relationship feels like.

We’ve got a problem here, because we think we know, but the reality is, we don’t. We can’t. Not when we’ve been where we’ve been and gone through what we’ve gone through. Not when our relationship gauge is up when it’s supposed to be down.

If I’ve lost you here, stay with me for a minute and picture a compass.

It’s going to automatically point north because of the magnet in there.  Now imagine your relationship radar as a compass (you know where I’m going with this.) It’s pointing south (or east, or west), not north.

And it’s OK.  It’s not your fault.Continue Reading

I Thought We Had Something, But It Was All a Lie

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A beautiful woman feels sad because she feels she was used.
He knew how l felt but he kept using me

The letter I want to share with you this week comes from one of our beautiful readers who has asked to remain anonymous. I'll simply call her "Beautiful".

Here's what she shared:

Hi Jane,

I thought l'd share my story with you as right now l’m so devastated and feel this pain won’t go away.

It’s killing me.

I have been sleeping with a guy for years. l fell so in love with him and thought he definitely had feelings for me. He'd tell me we would never be together but l never believed him as when we were together it felt real.

He'd give me that impression that there was something there, we got on so well together.

But l know now after seeing him on a dating site that it was all a lie, the kisses, the cuddles was all a lie. It really was just sex on his part but l thought there was feelings there.

l thought we had something.Continue Reading

I Want to Let Go But He Still Has My Heart

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Woman one the beach reflecting on letting go.
I'm so confused about whether I should do something or not.

One of our gorgeous readers, Heather, is having a hard time letting go of a relationship that she knows is not what she wants.

Here's her letter:

Hi Jane!

I've been following you for a little while. I find your explanations and responses very comforting...so thank you!

I'm going to try to summarize this as best I can.

I met a man almost 3 years ago who changed my world. We were together for almost 2 years with a brief break in the middle. Our issue then and what ended up breaking us up was the issue of having kids.

He's 10 years older than me. He has 3 foster kids and didn't want to have anymore. I wasn't ready to give up on the idea of having kids so we split.

We didn't talk for a little while after the break up but then ended up staying in contact until about a month ago.Continue Reading

My Husband’s Long-Single, Classically Emotionally Unavailable Friend is Now Engaged!

28 Comments

Picture of man putting wedding ring on woman hand signaling engagement.
What was it that finally made him commit?

“Ok,” I said, when we were finally alone. I had been waiting all afternoon for just the right time to ask him this question ever since I had heard the news.

“What is it about her? Why is she the one who won your heart?”

He was the one I was always curious about. He was the quintessential “emotionally unavailable man”.

He had it all. Good-looking, successful, all-around guys guy; he epitomized the strong, silent type so many of us have long tried to change.

He had a string of long term relationships in his history with women who had all been relationship material, vying to be the one who would finally win him over.

But no one ever did.Continue Reading

Acceptance – His and Yours

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acceptance word - isolated text in letterpress wood type
Don't be afraid of the truth.

"You know," he said, "the more accepting I am of my own imperfections, the more I can accept yours."

I’ll never forget the night he spoke these words to me. What he was saying was crystal clear to me.

And it was huge coming from him.

But it was what I had suspected for some time. It confirmed what I have long come to know.Continue Reading

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