Getting to TRUE Love

Finding your YOU that leads to TWO

What No One Ever Tells You About Real Love

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Close up of man and woman holding hands in the sunset.
It's the part about real love they left out.

I wasn’t real.

They, on the other hand, might have been. But I would never know.

Because until I was able to get real, nothing was real. What I came face to face with was the reality that I didn’t know how to be real. I was too busy trying to be perfect.

Trying to figure out what it was they wanted me to be and then being that. Trying to prove my worthiness, my perfectness, my "perfect girlfriend-ness".

That’s all I knew. And that’s what I thought mattered.

I knew I wanted someone to choose me, to make me feel like something. To give a life to fit into. To give me a world to fit into and a role to play. To give me the instruction sheet on how to do a relationship.

Just tell me what you want me to be and I’ll be it.  Continue Reading

He Said Goodbye...

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Sad woman missing her boyfriend after breakup with a broken picture of the couple on the bed.
It really hurts that he hasn't contacted me.

This week our letter comes from beautiful Rainie. Her on-again, off-again relationship recently ended over the holidays (why is it always over the holidays...????) and she's devastated.

Here's her email:

I met this guy online five years ago.

We both had not been in a relationship for many, many years. He was working 7 days a week in his own business and I had a son who had disabilities and was devoted to him. We both had our commitments that prevented us from seeing each other a lot but we would communicate each day, most days of the week anyway.

We were each other’s support to a certain extent.

Two years after we first met we had a fight and went our own separate ways. I was devastated at the time... A year later he contacted me again and we ended up being in the same sort of relationship as previously which was suitable for both of us.

Two years have past since then and we have drawn closer to each other, more than before. We live a fair distance from each other, so with his work commitment and my commitment to my son we did not see each other that often.

We would just email each other all the time.Continue Reading

Why Taking the Pressure Off Is Your Fastest Route to Love!

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Ballroom dance floor abstract, digital painting in red, purple, white, blue, tan.
It's tiime to set yourself free!

There’s a song I used to love belting out the lyrics to – never mind that it was sung by a sensitive, soft-spoken man with a perm who could have been old enough to be my dad.

When I heard the words and looked up the lyrics to make sure I had them right, they resonated with me in a way that nothing had before.

It didn’t matter that I was only in my twenties myself. It didn’t matter that I was probably the last person he imagined identifying with them and he certainly hadn’t written them for someone like me.

What mattered was that in my twenties I felt old.

I had always been an old soul. I knew more and felt more and understood more than most anyone my age, and almost all of my friends and boyfriends had always been much older than me. So when first heard the song, I understood from my old soul standpoint just like everyone who it was actually intended for would.Continue Reading

How Do I Ask Him How He Feels?

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A man and a woman are having a serious discussion over dinner because she wants to know how he feels about her.
I don't want to come off as clingy!

This week, beautiful Pauli writes to us about her new relationship that's moving along (at least physically) very quickly.

Here's her story:

Good Morning Jane!

I have watched your free video series, and it has helped lessen my relationship anxiety quite a bit already!!

I was very tempted to accept your half price offer on the next series however, I am in a  fairly new relationship, and I am having trouble with how relevant the information may be to my current situation.

Having been married and divorced/separated twice, with both husbands stepping out of the marriage and into affairs, I have wondered on and off if it was something I was doing, but I have realized now, with your help, that these men were not the right ones for me.

So.... my questions so far are in regard to my "new" relationship.

We have been seeing each other for 2 months but he lives a fair distance away, so we have actually only spent 6 days together in person in that 2 months. He does text or call me on the phone every day.

We were brought together by mutual, long time friends who think we would make a great couple. We have a great chemistry, but I wonder if it's too good. I find myself wondering if what we have is mostly sexual in nature on his part.Continue Reading

Another Chance

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Fresh start ahead road sign concept for new year symbolizing making positive changes.
It's time for a fresh start.

Every New Year we’re given another chance.

To do something different. To clean the slate. To start fresh. To begin again.

And every year we resolve to do exactly this. To do things differently, to turn over a new leaf and do everything we didn’t do before.

We’re so full of good intentions, so full of hope. We’re determined to make this year “our year”.

Except that it rarely turns out this way.

Sure, we make small strides and little steps along the way, but it seldom (if ever) turns out the way we expected it to when we compare notes at the end of the year.Continue Reading

What I Want You To Remember This Holiday Season

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Beautiful woman outdoors in frosty winter park with snowflakes.
If you only remember one thing, make it this.

There's a reason I’m here, doing what I do.

To remind you of what you can’t see from where you are now. To remind you of your power. To remind you of your beauty.

To remind you that the only reason you can’t see what I can see is because you haven’t come to the part yet where you prove yourself wrong.

Because without proof, you can’t believe it. Without proof, it’s the hardest thing to believe what you can’t yet see.

So my message to you today as we go about celebrating the holidays in whatever way you celebrate, is to stop believing what you’ve been believing about yourself every time another holiday season comes around.Continue Reading

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