Getting to TRUE Love

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He Ghosted Me. What happened?

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Close up of womans hand using mobile phone on a bokeh background, symbolizing that her boyfriend doesn't text her.
I haven't heard back in more than a week.

What do you do when the guy you've been seeing for three months ghosts you and just disappears?

Poof. Nothing. He ghosted you!

That's what happened to Anna who wrote me last week with two words in her subject line.

What happened?

I know exactly what happened and I'm going to tell her and you below.

But first, here's her story:

Hi Jane,

I've been in contact with this guy who showed all signs of interest and said such sweet things to me. Things said at a start of a relationship.

Though we talked on the phone it would be at long intervals and I noticed I was the one initiating each conversation but he was always happy to talk to me. We did not meet in person a lot, about 4 times in 3 months.Continue Reading

He says he just wants to hookup – what should I do?

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A romantic couple having a serious conversation on the beach in winter.
He told me he can't offer me than occasional hookups.

I know today's letter is going to resonate with so many of you who've been here before!  Our beautiful friend, Janine, is trying to decide whether to get out now or to accept the terms of a guy she's fallen for who can only give her occasional once-a-month hookups. I know what I think she should do and I'm sharing it with you so you can know too!

Her Story:

Hi Jane,

Firstly, I must say how I love the pearls of wisdom you impart in your blog & on social media. After a break-up at the end of 2020….& with my current situation….so much of what you write and say really resonates with me.

Jane, I have got myself into a ‘casual’ relationship the last couple of months.

Met a man while I was away on holiday at the end of October, we have caught up twice since, even though we live 3 hours apart. We also text msg or talk on the phone most nights.

Last week I spent 3 nights with him at his place.  On the last night while I was there he told me he can’t offer me more than what we’ve got now - the occasional hook-up, once a month.Continue Reading

My ex is confusing me

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A beautiful woman is holding her head in her hands wondering if her boyfriend who has commitment issues is just playing games or if he wants a committed relationship.
I just have no idea what to do.

Ever been confused by an ex? I know I don't even have to ask. More like who HASN'T been confused by an ex! Read on to hear what B wrote to me. I have a feeling you'll relate.

Her Story:

Hi Jane,

Thanks so much for providing a safe space for me to share how I feel and get some advice!

My ex broke up with me about a month ago after dating for almost two years. We had a wonderful relationship, but like any relationship had a few ups and downs. He treated me so well and we had a lot of fun together, and the spark was undeniable. However, although I had told him I loved him, he had never said those words back. He made it clear that he felt the same way, but seemed scared to actually say it.

I felt completely blindsided when we broke up as I wasn’t expecting it. The breakup was respectful and calm, but the thing that confused me was that in the same breath as ending things he finally said the words “I love you.”

Since breaking up we have stayed in contact and even seen each other a couple of times. He has told me he doesn’t want to get back together but he wants to be friends. He will blow hot and cold over text and sometimes flirt and other times not reply for days.Continue Reading

How soon should I have the talk?

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Close up of a woman using mobile smart phone, wondering why she was ghosted and he suddenly stopped texting.
He only texts or calls if I text first.

If you're wondering when it's the right time to have 'the talk', you're not alone. Ella wrote to me asking for my advice on when to have this talk with her guy. Read on to hear what I had to say.

Her Story:

I have been talking to a guy that I met in an event for three weeks now. He lives in a different country, an hour flight away. Every time we talk it lasts for hours and he always mentions how much he enjoys talking to me. We both shared secrets and spoke about work family friends etc.

My issue is, I feel like I'm always the one initiating the conversation.

I would send a text like “hey good morning” or “how was your weekend” and he’d usually respond by calling or texting me to tell me that he would call me when he’s back home.. and we’d end up talking for hours! I know we both enjoy talking to each other, and he does show interest every time I reach out but my pride is getting the best of me for always making the first move.

Also he called me yesterday and said that he would call me today on his way back home from work but it’s already 10:00 pm. He did tell me that he has a relative over and will be busy this month. But he could’ve apologized or rescheduled.Continue Reading

Has your dream turned into a nightmare?

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A beautiful woman lies in bed next to her boyfriend, wondering what decision to make.
All these years I tried to make this relationship work.

Ever feel like your dream for your relationship has turned into a nightmare?

You're not alone.

One of my boyfriends bought me a book on dream interpretations because I had such vivid nightmares while we were dating. Little did he know they were about him! - and for a good reason. What my conscious mind couldn't bring myself to see, my subconscious mind couldn't NOT see.

I've heard the same from many of you in my working with you who've shared your own vivid dreams with me, so today I'm sharing Kelli's letter with you so you can feel another heart who relates to what you've been through. Here's what she wrote to me ...

Her Story:

Hi Jane,

I decided to write to you because burning the bridge on a relationship is tough and I need support.

I did walk away finally and could see why I kept hanging on.

I do know that when a healthy relationship comes along it will be such a relief.

Wishing the old relationship had turned out differently is like hanging on to a cloud.Continue Reading

How she went from heartbroken & hopeless to happily married in one year

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Happy just married young couple, wedding.
We were just married in Jamaica!

It all began when Becca responded to my call to claim the year as HER year to find the love she’d been searching for her whole life. In response to an email I sent out to my subscriber list, she responded with this.

Jane, I'm doing this. This is my year to find the love I've been wanting my whole life!"

I made a commitment to not go after the man that abandoned me and my children three times this last year and a half - I am worth more than how I have been treated- my children deserve a good man in their lives that values them as his own. No more will I beg or chase a man. I will allow only good in my life and my children's lives. 

- Becca

 I responded back to her with this email:

Awesome, Rebecca! I'm so glad you're here.

There is nothing like these words, spoken with conviction, to put this into motion, to claim your right to have exactly the kind of love you were made for!Continue Reading

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