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Dating

The posts in the dating category relate to the early stages of a relationship, before the two of you are exclusive. The dating category includes topics such as where to find men, how do I find Mr. Right?, first dates, should you call him, etc.

I Don't Want to Be Hurt Again

37 Comments

A woman and man are experiencing a break up and she doesn't want to be hurt again.
His mixed signals give me hope we'll get back together.

Our beautiful friend Yuri has been in a relationship with a guy who now says he just wants to be friends, but he's giving her mixed signals which is giving her false hope.

Here's her email:

Dear Jane,

My boyfriend broke up with me in October 2014.

He first said that he wanted to take a break to be with himself because he had some issues then three weeks later he broke up with me. I was really sad but I managed to remain calm. But a week after the breakup he started calling me again and wanted to always hang out with me.

I went along because I was emotionally too dependent on him. As days went by I grew uncomfortable because I knew that even though we were like a couple he still didn't consider me his girlfriend. I decided to speak to him about it and he told me that he was still having some issues and that if I wanted to I could be with him because in the future we will get back together.

Again I went along with what he said hoping that we will get back together soon. But then I noticed a repeated cycle taking place.Continue Reading

His Words...Can I Trust Them?

26 Comments

The word trust in letter blocks on tissue paper.
Can I trust his words?

Our gorgeous friend, who has called herself Miss J., has been in a relationship with a great guy for around three months, and things had been going great, but now things are starting to change.

Here's her story:

Hi Jane,

First let me say that I love your site! I have a few articles that I have saved and refer back to regularly to save my sanity! You're a life saver. Now for my question....

I met a great guy back in December and we were immediately infatuated with each other.  We talked everyday and wanted to see each other all of the time and did. We both admitted to have trust issues but also stated that we were interested in being in a committed relationship! Yay!

A month into seeing each other he told me he wanted to advance in our relationship and wanted to be with me in every way. We have both been burned in the past and still struggle with it but he told me how much he loved our communication and how he loved how he felt when he was with me. Exactly what I wanted to hear!

Finally I felt like I could exhale. Continue Reading

Will He Ever Change His Mind?

42 Comments

A beautiful woman leans against a tree wondering if he will ever want a committed relationship with her.
Should I just move on?

One of our beautiful readers, who has chosen to remain anonymous, was in a friends with benefits situation and is wondering if he will ever come around and want a committed relationship with her.

Here's her story:

Last year I moved into University halls, and basically fell almost instantly in love with one of my flatmates. He was in a long-term relationship at the time, but we got on really well and hung out a lot.

A few months into the term he separated from his girlfriend, and me and him got even closer and after a few months ended up becoming friends with benefits for about 4 months, however we basically acted like a couple, then all of a sudden he stopped things, saying he wasn't over his last relationship.

I was devastated and tried everything to get over him, but I don't think I ever stopped loving him.Continue Reading

Embracing Your Softness

22 Comments

A beautiful woman is in a field blowing on a dandelion while she embraces her softness
Release the soft, beautiful side of you.

I've noticed a trend recently, one that really got my attention.

Lately it seems like so much of the advice and anecdotes I've been seeing and hearing from friends, on social media, on other blogs, is about how we women can be more "badass", tougher, stronger, harder, etc.

I see so little about what we actually want – and need! – to hear.

The part about who we were made to be. That part that speaks to our soft hearts as strength, not of weakness. The part that embraces who we are in that softness, instead of reinforcing our culture's preoccupation with seeing weaknesses as strengths and strengths as weakness.

We've fallen for it, too.Continue Reading

How To Get Over a Broken Heart

38 Comments

A beautiful woman is looking very sad as she is wondering how to get over a breakup.
How do I get past this overwhelming sadness?

In my coaching practice, the question of how to get over a broken heart is one that I hear so often. Unfortunately, it’s a question almost all of us have asked at one time or another of anyone who was willing to listen.

Breakups are not only hard, they can frequently feel like something inside of us had died, and the loss of a relationship can often be just as painful as actually losing a loved one. And it makes sense – this person that you were so intimately involved with, that was such an intertwined part of your life, is suddenly gone, unreachable, untouchable.

Then there’s the self-blame, the resentment, the anger. Even if the breakup was amicable, and you've decided to remain friends (which I generally don’t recommend), it’s impossible to completely erase that feeling of utter loss.

And it really is a loss – a loss of the future that you had pictured with him. A loss of the future family life that you may have imagined. A loss of all of those wonderful times that you so totally believed were coming soon.

I know. I’ve been there too. Too many times to want to remember.

So how do we move on from a devastating breakup? How do we finally repair our shattered hopes, shattered dreams, shattered heart?Continue Reading

Sex On the First Date

13 Comments

A beautiful woman and man are  becoming intimate.
I had sex on the first date - did I ruin my chances?

Our beautiful friend, Ashley, is concerned that having sex on the first date with a guy she's crazy about may have ruined her chances for a real, long lasting relationship with him.

Here's her story:

Hi Jane,

Long story short, I am crazy about this guy I've been seeing for a week and half. lol.

He lives and hour and half away.

I met him at a DJ class he was teaching a few months ago. He gave me his business card and I emailed him about DJ stuff. He responded then I heard nothing from him until 2 weeks ago.

He invited me to go to a DJ cafe with him in his town. So I went we hit it off, he was a gentleman and paid for everything.

We ended up having sex that night.

And we've been texting ever since. He texts me good morning and text throughout the day. He came to my town to celebrate my birthday with me on Saturday.

I know it's kind of soon, but I want more out of this relationship, I want him to be my boyfriend. It hasn't even been a full 2 weeks yet though, and I'm nervous that having a sexual relationship with him so soon ruined my chance.

What should I do?

- Ashley

My Response:

Continue Reading

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About Jane Garapick

Hi, I'm Jane Garapick. I'm here to provide inspiration, support and empowerment on the journey to true love. I know what it’s like to have a broken heart, a broken dream, and a broken you. And I know for a fact, that your dreams can still come true! Read more...
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