One of our lovely readers, who has requested to remain anonymous, was dating a guy for a couple of months when he suddenly disappeared on her, both emotionally and physically. They went from seeing each other often and talking or texting every day to, "poof", nothing.
Here's her story:
Jane,
I am at a loss for what to do and I feel I need someone who is objective and doesn't know me personally to give me an honest answer. I will try to give as much info as possible without making it too long.
I began dating this guy whom I met online. Or at least I thought we were dating.
We spent two months together to be exact. He would call me every day and we would talk for at least an hour he would send me a good morning text every morning and good night texts every day and we texted throughout the day.
Then he just walked out of my life without so much as an explanation.
I did confront him about ignoring me and had asked him if he was blowing me off to which she said he was not ... he just had a lot going on. Of course I couldn't just let things go. Every few days I would attempt to initiate contact asking why he would ignore me, did I do anything wrong, why does he hate me?
I missed him and because I felt the distance between us growing before this I reacted by telling him I needed some time as I had things going on in my life, which I did it wasn't a lie. I myself was under a lot of stress but I explained that I still needed his friendship.
Anyway it was about two weeks ago I had called him and told him that I felt that something was going on and asked him if he was OK - it was just a gut feeling that I had gotten that told me that something had happened. He told me his mom had had a stroke that day and it didn't look good.
I told him that I was really sorry and if there was anything that he needed to please contact me as I care for him and to know that I was there for him if he needed anything.
Then I proceeded to remind him that I had felt that there was something going on with him and I had wondered what had happened with us. I explained that this was not the time to discuss it but to please promise to call me when his mom was doing better.
He promised to call and set also stated that this was not the time .
Needless to say 10 days had gone by and I sent him a text saying that I was thinking of him and hoping that his mom was doing better. Then a day later I noticed an obituary that his mom had passed away three days after he had told me about the stroke. A week had gone by and he had not reached out to me.
I felt like such a fool for not knowing and sending him a text that I was thinking of her and praying for her when she had passed a week earlier.
Now I don't know what to do.
Of course I don't know if he got my text or not as it looked like he had blocked me from his phone. I honestly don't even know why he would do that.
Anyway, I know this is not about me right now but I know I played a big part in it that he felt he couldn't let me know about his mothers passing. What I gather is that because he didn't reach out to me he no longer wants any contact with me. That whatever there was initially between us is completely gone.
He had gone from seeing me twice a week calling me every day texting me every day to nothing.
Of course I was hurt and confused and curious as to what was going on and I feel I may have pushed him even further away causing him to not feel he could reach out to me.
In my heart I want to reach out to him and tell him how sorry I am about his mothers passing but feel it would be even more detrimental. But I don't want him to think I don't care because I do and I don't want to already make a situation worse than what it already is.
I guess my question is how should I handle this?
Should I just let it go because he never reached out to me? Should I send him a sympathy card? Should I call him?
I'm not sure what to do.
I feel that it is the end. And I feel that way because he didn't reach out to me. He didn't need or want me during this very difficult time.
Should I just let him go? Because to me it sounds like he has already let me go. I would appreciate any thoughts that you or your readers have.
Thank you so much for reading this. And I look forward to your response.
- Anonymous.
My Response:
I’m so glad you reached out to me.
It can be so hard to make sense of what’s right there in front of you when it’s your own heart on the line. I chose your letter today because it touches on a theme that resonates with so much of what I hear from women just like you.
We no longer know what it means to be in a relationship. We’re no longer clear about what dating means.
The lines between dating and relating and communicating and so many other facets of dating and relationships have become so ambiguous, that it’s no wonder you’re feeling so lost and unsure about where to go from here.
It’s not your fault.
It’s just that the more we see and hear what seems to be simply the way dating and relationships are these days, the easier it is to accept things the way they are, to settle for what we know deep down doesn’t feel right to us, and to keep doing more of the same because we have no idea what else to do and it seems like neither does anyone else.
I want to clarify a few things first.
Don’t assume you're dating or in a relationship with someone unless you are both clearly on the same page and communicating with each other by your words and your actions that you're on that same page.
This means both of you, not just you or what you imagine he must mean. If you’re not sure, then you have your answer. Someone who is on the same page as you will make sure you know; that doubt is what tells you you’re not.
Don’t assume you’re exclusive until he says he wants to be exclusive with you, until he clearly communicates with both his words and his behavior that exclusivity is what he’s looking for with you.
How do you know for sure? Again, it’s the doubt. If you have reason to doubt, if your gut instinct is having you question what you’ve got and you feel the need to constantly check in to get a reading on the “temperature” of the two of you, listen to that. There’s something to that that bears finding out.
You are NOT dating and you are NOT in a relationship if all you are doing is communicating with someone via text or phone or Skype or some other social media medium.
Dating and being in a relationship means you are seeing someone face to face, that they are communicating with you in a meaningful way as much as you are with them. It means more than just good morning, goodnight, and various "checking in" points during the day that have no substance and no real person’s actions and behavior to go along with them.
If you're seeing someone, it means there's a real person showing up who’s communicating with words and actions that they're building something with you, getting to know more of you, giving and sharing more of themselves with you. It means more than words or promises or compliments or smooth talking.
It means consistent actions over time that clearly show you someone wants the same thing you do – with you.
Go back and reread what you wrote to me as if it’s your best friend telling you her story. You’ve got your own answers right there in your own words. You reached out and reached out and kept reaching out until there was no one there anymore to reach out to. You offered your support when you found out there really was something that had happened, but still got nothing back in return.
You don’t need to send a condolence card or do anything else unless not doing so is tearing you up. He knows full well that you care, in fact, that’s why he didn’t take you up on your offer of support. That you do care is what he can’t handle.
The reason someone blocks you is because they don’t want anything more to do with you but aren’t able to communicate this honestly with you.
At any point when you stopped reaching out to him and gave him a chance to reach out to you, you would have seen this pattern. But when we want to avoid the truth at all costs, when we believe it will be far more painful to see what’s not there after all, we end up losing our own equilibrium on what’s ours, what’s his and what yours together.
“Because to me, it seems like he has already let me go”. You’re right. He has.
But not because there’s anything so wrong with you. Not because you don’t deserve to have all the love in the world with someone truly worthy of you. Only because you’re on two different pages, looking for two different things with someone who isn’t the other.
There’s no need to tell yourself a rejection story, or give yourself any other explanation that only keeps him in the power position with you only giving more of your own beautiful power away.
Where do you go from here? You choose to let him go.
Not because you have to, but because you make the conscious decision to choose to not keep holding onto anyone who doesn’t see all that you are and all that you have to offer without you having to convince them of any of this.
That’s what we’re going for here, and nothing less. The irony is that it’s only when we do choose to let go of someone like this who can’t give us what we’re longing for, that we free ourselves to be available to someone who can.
And that, Beautiful, is always what you and every one of us deserves.
I hope this has made things more clear for you.
Love,
Jane
What to you think our lovely friend should do in this situation? Share your thoughts with her and the rest of us below in the comments!
The reason he has not called is because he has someone else In his life. Most likely he is in a relationship and it would be best to walk away… he will never admit the truth .
You know I’m your heart what the truth is…. I might be wrong , but in my experience if someone doesn’t act like they want you . Don’t chase them down…
Exactly, Heather. Sounds like you've been here before!
Hey,
I have a similar story but I am on the opposite end here which I hope can help you.
So few months back my college crush messaged me on Messenger about something which is common to us and we started talking, he asked me for my number and then we were frequently chatting almost every day. So I was looking on social media for his account and on instagram I found his picture with another women and the comments were clearly showing that the were an item. But he said to me that he is very much single during our chat.I never tried asking him who the girl was and stuff because that was very personal.Later on I talked to few of my friends n they said that he frequently posts status with that women n they think that he is very much in relationship.So that's when I decided to stop talking to him slowly n steadily and later on completely.I don't want to be a third women or another girl for him to forget his ex(considering he is single now)
Hi Jane and others
Jane, I just feel sick. I dated a girl for almost two months. I know that's not a long time But I fell hard for her. Not because I normally do this. Falling for someone hard like this early is a recipe for disaster. No I fell for her because of her actions early. Calling me everyday, texting me everyday, sending me insesent pictures of her throughout the day. A few naughty pictures. We were intimate, kissing when we saw each other I was basically a big part of her life. And I loved every second of it! A few weeks ago I noticed a pullback. So I asked her about it. She said that life was crazy busy but that things were cool. I then texted her one day about seeing her and got no response. She did finally text me a hi there! 4 days later as if nothing had happened. I said hello and then decided to step aside for a few days. Maybe this would work. I would give her space and show her I'm not this needy guy. I finally called her yesterday after some time away and the call picked up but it was a disaster. I heard her in the background but nothing, she didn't talk and then the line hung up. I then texted her a hey there! and was this a bad time? Crickets nothing. Obviously the writing is on the wall. But Jane, others I need an explanation from HER. I'm not going to be mad and go off or anything like that but WTF. You're just going to disappear now til the end of time as if nothing happened between us and it meant nothing. Especially after you were the one that initiated and accelerated our connection so early. I can take the break up. Sometimes people dont fit for whatever reason. This other part I cannot accept. It stings like a thousand bees. It's just so cruel to leave some one on the lurch like this and if it were up to her, seemingly forever. Thank you Jane and followers for letting me vent. Good luck to all of is in finding true meaningful love.
I think I can see where it might have gone wrong. You were both on different pages. She sent you indecent pictures and came on strong sexually very early on. That’s a red flag in a man or woman if you are looking for a genuine love relationship to develop, which it sounds like you are. Some women are just as capable of purely sexual hook-ups/booty calls as some men are. She strikes me as having had a sexual hook-up interest in you only but you were looking for more. Good luck.
here is even more confusing situation: after 4 years of being together they cut contact by 99%. When you ask them what is wrong they say they are going through 'crazy times'. You leave them alone and they text you 'good morning' every day and that's it.
He stopped calling me abruptly after talking for 4 years every day. I am in PAIN and suffer from a terrible anxiety. I do not get his good morning texts. What is the point? To keep me on backborner? This distance is killing me , he keeps me hooked with his morning texts... it is like it is over but it is not. See what I mean? It has been 3 weeks of this and I cannot take it anymore.
My crush keeps adding me back and unadding me on snapchat after I asked if he is playing me . My freind asked him if he had feelings for me but he didint say anything. The girl that told me he was a player said that he told people he thought she was out of his league and didint go through with it which was last year.He keeps checking in on my snaps every other day it been at least 6 months and he still does. Il trying to build the courage to tell him that I did have a crush on him but j keep deleting it .everyone says he likes me but I'm not sure Is he playing with me or is he just being shy or insecure. Or is he playing hard to get ?he stopped now
I have been with a fellah whom I went out with years ago for 2 yrs We text every night and see each other now and again and I was so happy but then silence Just nothing for a whole year Every day I plead with him to tell me why and I want him back but just nothing Ive been doing this every day for 10 mths now and he just wont answer I cant help texting as I miss him so much Brenda
Hello! I guess I'm not the only one to go through this type of thing. My situation is that I've been seeing this guy for a few months . We talked online for about a month, then on the phone for a few weeks and actually have seen each other consistently for the last 6 weeks or so. Anyway, we seemed to have so much in common and he seemed to never want our time together to end but then suddenly I hardly hear from him and he doesn't want to make plans like before . I'm not sure what happened. We are both single parents with jobs and I know time can be tough to come by but it's not impossible. I just feel so bad and I wonder if I did something wrong . I am a very open and honest person and told him that in was looking to date at some point. I mean, we did meet on a dating website afterall. He said he eventually was too, but I'm not even sure how to take that. We haven't stopped talking all together but there is a drastic change and I'm sure it's just a matter of time before he completely stops talking to me. We've already gone from actually talking daily to texting one or two times a day. I don't know what I should do or if I'm overreacting. I'm not a clingy person but I can tell when something is different. This seems to happen to me often and I'm trying not to get bitter but it's really hard.
Jane,
This message is a long one, but I decided not to abbreviate it because I have found other peoples accounts of their experiences on here to be just as illuminating your blog posts and responses.
7 months ago I came out of a 17-year marriage and reconnected with an Old Flame. Not knowing where I stood with the old flame was a pattern of behaviour that existed first time around, but we were both in our early 20s, immature and neither one of us was particularly good at communicating or asserting ourselves. Consequently we never really knew where we stood with one anther and would repeatedly drift apart until circumstances brought us back together. He has long-term health issues that set him back mentally and physically and I often put him falling off the radar down to this.
During one of those set backs/breaks I met and began dating the man who was to become my husband and the father of my children. I have to admit that due to the unfinished business aspect of my "relationship" with Old Flame I harboured feelings for him even throughout my marriage and occasionally I'd wonder "what if?” Because I recognised this I avoided Old Flame (he's in my circle of friends).
Some months after my husband and I separated Old Flame and I reconnected via social media and after a few months of chatting online I asked if he'd like to meet up in person (quite bold of me!). He did and for 6 weeks we saw one another weekly and messaged in between. It was joyous. Then, suddenly: no contact. I assumed his health issues were the culprit and didn't take it to heart. I called him twice in 3 weeks. During our last call he categorically stated that he wanted to see me and his not calling wasn't about "us" but said he needed a bit of time to get his health back on track. But, he also said that he'd met with friends. That resonated with me, because if he could do that he could have picked up the phone and let me know he was thinking of me. So I decided to leave it for him to call me.
That was almost 3 weeks ago and still no call, or message. Thanks to your post I stopped waiting 1 week ago but felt compelled to come back and thank you.
The harsh truth is, he's not thinking of me or considering my feelings. No matter how heartfelt the messages he sent me when he was communicating, you've made me realise they weren't real as they took zero investment from him to send. I have no idea why he hasn't been straight with me and told me he doesn't want to see me. I guess he's keeping me on the hook. It's disappointing to be treated like this by someone I've known most of my life, it's the kind of treatment I'd expect from some random person I just met. But his behaviour is not my issue, it's his, for him to explore amend should he ever want a relationship to work in future.
That relationship will not be with me. I've been honest and opened up my heart and life to him for the last time. I deserve better. I initially considered closing the social media account we communicated on in order to withdraw our messages, but instead I have opted to leave it open. I'm not ashamed of the trust, faith and honesty I exhibited in our communications and they will serve as a valuable reference for both of us in the unlikely (or, likely, given his 90s pattern of behaviour) event he attempts to hook up again.
So thank you Jane, the advice you have given anonymous and others has helped me bring closure to a romantic situation that has haunted my life and dreams for over 20 years.
Hi, Iv been going through a similar experience myself recently. I was in a relationship with a guy for 5 weeks who all of a sudden decided he was not ready for a new long term relationship and decided to go back to his toxic ex who he has had an off/on relationship with for 13 years. I know this should have been a red flag for me in the beginning but he kinda talked me round. Saying he was totally over her. clearly he was not and I'm now left gutted as I did nothing wrong yet he chose to break up with me, I think that is what I struggle with, that i did nothing wrong and we had a really good relationship yet it has still ended. Any advice wd be greatly appreciated.
Selina x
Hi Anon, yes, he has let you go. If you meant something to him he would have you in his life during this major loss in his life. I'm sorry. I know it's hard but dont contact him anymore. Write you contacts in a journal. Font send him anything.
You did your best and as Jane said, both of you were on 2 different pages.
When did this happen? 1 or 2 months ago?
Virgo Ellie .... Last time I spoke w him was about a month ago . And that was when he told me about his mom being very ill . Two weeks prior to that we had spent a very nice evening together , went to a concert... He said had a fun time and kissed me goodbye at the end of the evening . I never thought he would end it like that . He always came across as very interested when we spent time together. In the 2 weeks between that I had texted him 3 times without responses . I don't think that was excessive. And somewhere in there he initiated texting me for 2 days before stopping again . Regardless, although I occasionally think about him he's almost become a distant memory . I was not at the point where I had developed any special feelings for him but that doesn't mean it didn't hurt to be ignored . I was surprised by his actions because he initially asked me out . We used to work together many yrs ago and were familiar with each other which is the only reason I thought if things didn't work out we could atleast have a friendship and I would have been ok with that . No one likes to be treated as if they don't exist but I'm glad I saw the real him sooner before I possibly did develop feelings for him . Since then I have been going out on dates with other men and let him go . I just want to thank everyone for all your comments . They have really helped see things even more clearly as I was second guessing myself and his actions as to what did I do wrong and you know what , I didn't do anything wrong .
Hi Anon! NO, you did NOTHING wrong. Please know that most of the time relationships end because either one in the relationship feels they can't give enough to the other person. I honestly think this guy is struggling with his Mom. If he was her caretaker trust me his Mom was his world. Him wanting to stay in touch with another woman during this time of struggle makes him feel like he is betraying his Mom. I know it is immature but depending on how old you two are he couldn't leave his commitment to his mother.
I am glad to read that you having dating others.
Thanks Virgo Ellie ! I appreciate your kind words . We are both in our 40's. And I do know he was worried about his mom even before her death . He would go visit her in the nursing home twice a week . I think he did do right by her . As for us ... I don't know if that will change . But since he has had no contact w me in a month I have no choice but to move on . I do pray for him though and hope he finds peace .
I just had to write in and mention that I finally did hear from this guy again . And he apologized for being rude and treating me the way he did . He said he had been thinking about me and didn't think I would even talk to him or want to hear from him after how he did that to me . He explained that he was really in a funk -- March is always a bad month for him bc his dad passed in March and now his mom but he never should have treated me like that ... It was no excuse . He even said "I'm sorry " . I appreciate him admitting what he did and for apologizing . He wants to stay in touch and even get together ... I have no expectations and have even been dating someone else -- granted its only been a month of dating the same guy but the weird thing is I have not been able to really get interested in him . He is a very nice guy and treats me well . I find him a little boring at this point and am trying to be patient and give it a chance . I am attracted to him but I still always thought about this first guy . We talked on the phone for an hr -- he was so easy and fun and we laughed like we used to . I tried to end the conversation 3 times but he just kept talking . He said he would talk to me again . Who knows if he will but atleast now I know for sure that what happened was not about me -- it was his own issues as most of you had said . Thank you all for listening and responding to help get me through it . I just wanted to give you the update on this. Thanks again -- and feel free to give me your 2 cents 🙂
Hi Anon,
Been following your story, i'm wondering what happened to you and that first guy?
The painful part is accepting that everything he told you was a damn lie! I heard you loud and clear dear. It doesn't really lessen the pain but we can get through it with our other sources of support and in time, in another place, with another person, we will be okay. Be at least as good to yourself as you were to him.
Sorry for your pain sunshine, you are beautiful soul. I think it's better to bite the bullet now than later when you are even more involved and susceptible to get hurt.
xoxoxoxo
.
He has the issues not you .. 2 months is not fair to yourself to get connected to someone - especially when determining a life long partner. He ghosted you - you were a bystander an innocent victim .. Take time before getting attached .
Why do men , I know women do too but why do they feel the need to ghost you ?
Lack of maturity, fear, weakness, cowardice. Many people out there are not self aware nor compassionate or empathetic to let people know things are not working for them and letting them go. They take the easy way out: the disappearing act.
which is only "easy" for a JERK
Exactly Sue !
I'm learning that the right one will be there regardless of what we do . Just because we text them a few times or give them a call doesn't warrant being treated as if you don't exist .
Amen! And this "ghosting" thing is so common, now. Men are such cowards anymore.
The ghosting thing happensa lot now! It's cowardly and sad that a man cannot just say he's not interested or that it's not a good match or whatever. They just stop responding all together in hopes us women will just go away. But, then down the road get mad when THEY finally want to settle down and there are "no good women left". Talk about karma. I think txt and online dating site has changed things a lot but still, be a decent human and respect others. That goes for women too. Don't treat men badly either. 🙂
Ah ghosting. I'd never heard of it till it happened to me. Please don't roll it all into a gender specific trait, i personally could never do that to someone...... I'm running into many women doing the same thing.
Ghosting has become a depressing example of our societies disposable attitude to relationships.
Ghosting is one of the cruelest actions any person can do to another. It's akin to having a person die on you and can be worse. It offers no closure or remorse. It's near impossible to grieve the loss of your vested emotional interest or the person.
After months of this woman professing her feelings for me I traveled 1000 miles by car to meet her. It went well. We continued the Internet thing and she moved to a nearby town. We got together a few times again .....then she ghosted.
I needed closure......so I found her car one day and left a note stating " either phone me and leave a message that you are OK and safe or I will within a few days contact the police and request a welfare check"
I recieved a short message. And it did give me closure.
It also told me that this woman was no where near the type of person she said she was.
I'm currently about to end another 8 month Internet relationship. It has prevented me from going on a few "real" dates because I'm monogamous.
I'm simply going to text her and state that were friends and out of respect I'm telling her I'm starting to date again.
At 56 I'm stoic and old enough to know that there's no time for silly mating games anymore....life's too short.
At heart I'm a hopeful romantic.
My new thoughts on Internet dating.......if they don't show up in person they might as well be a bot. Even dating sites are ripe. Its not gotten easier to meet good people.... its gotten harder. Too easy to say all the right things by text..... an intuitive person will tell you everything you need to hear...even by phone. Yes I do agree with one statement. .... the "cowards" do tend to come out of the woodwork with the Internet.
Sadly the the majority of the great ones stay home.
That is the state of the world, Dave. No behavior in relationships or dating belongs to one gender, much less one sexual orientation. There are just people who do not have much decency. I've been ghosted too and it is the worst, but after it happens once or twice, you kind of figure out how to handle it. And by the way, it's not just online. I met the last man who ghosted me in real life. We even go to the same events. That didn't stop him from ghosting me nor does it stop him from pretending he doesn't see me when we attend the same events. ??♀️
I’m really sorry you feel that way Dave
That was the first time I've read an honest word from a man and sir I do thank you for being more man then I've encountered in a long time .God Bless you keep looking I believe you will find her .
They're out there, Shirley. Maybe try looking in a place you've never been before?
I am also possibly dealing with this same type of situation now. I met a wonderful guy online 6 weeks ago. We've been on numerous dates that have all been amazing (his words). Lately I've noticed him pulling away, work has been very stressful and he has had to even work on his days off. When I brought this up last week he assured me everything was fine between us and he wanted to see me this week. Then the day I believed we were going to see each other he mentioned he had to visit his family and was burnt out from work and asked what my plans were for the weekend. At this point I told him I was disappointed because I thought I would be seeing him that day and that if he wasn't interested to be honest and let me know. I also sent a few more messages when he didn't reapond basically asking for a answer. He responded later that he was having a hard time with all the texts and that he would talk to me soon. Well of course that made me more anxious and I tried calling him later that night and left a voice mail. It's been 2 days with no word from him. I know I made a mistake by pushing him and I'm angry at myself for being so needy. My last two relationships were pretty bad and as much as I didn't want to bring baggage into this new relationship, I did. I know he is not like the last two guys and I really do see a possibility with him. I want to be able to explain it to him face to face. Is it possible I pushed a good guy away for good because of my insecurities in the past?
Thank you so much Jane for your kind words ! You are absolutely right . I have not contacted this man since I write to you . It was hard to let it go but it got easier w each passing day and that feeling of loss keeps getting less and less . In my mind I questioned what we were because even though we were texting talking on the phone and spending time together on a regular basis to which he did show me affection by kissing me , holding my hand and holding me but there was no talk of what this was . Was I Someone to just fill his loneliness? Possibly. But because I wasn't sure , I also didn't want to think I was being played . You're right we don't know what dating is anymore , but how do we fix that . I tell myself to stop thinking about him every time I do and that he does not deserve my time . What he did was mean , immature and cowardly And isn't worth my time . I continue to put myself out there and go on dates . I have faith that the right guy will come along and I will know that without a doubt . Thank you Jane for your personal comments . And thank you for reminding me of what I already knew but wasn't ready to let go . I hope in the future I will be able to let go quicker when the doubts start setting in and I no longer know what we are . Your colum has helped me to grow and learn from the many experiences your writers write about . Again thank you !! God Bless .
Oh Jane, you said "That you do care is what he can’t handle" . What do you mean by that ?
He doesn't care but he knows you do and that's why he ignores you. He's not mature enough to tell you, but he's not that cold to take advantage.
Huh ? I'm not understanding your reply ? It doesn't answer my question as to why he can't handle the fact that he knows I care . Can you explain ?
His personal reasons I cannot possibly know. If I were to give a sweeping generalization is that if a person is not interested in you and they know you are, if they are lacking in the maturity and integrity department, they will not tell you the truth, instead they prefer to avoid the "drama" they think will ensue if they tell you they don't want you to care because they don't reciprocate.
Angel thanks . I do find his reactions interesting and confusing bc when I was upset and stressed out about some family issues he specifically reached out to me and told me that if I wanted to talk about it , I could talk to him . he was there for me . Honestly I'm tired of trying to figure it out . He just wasn't who he claimed to be and who I thought he was .
I think he may of went off the deep end. Thinks his world was falling. I think also that if you were just on the phone texting or chatting you should give him a couple day from putting his mom 12' feet under. I did the same here when I was a kid. But if he dosent come back and show his love on bettering your relanship he never will. But, he properly missed you and decided to put everything behind him and try to make you smile. I know Cause this sounds like what happen to me. She says she loves me but there may be another romance in her picture? Not sure what to do run and see her? Or maybe time? Scared to loser her. And also mad I didn't make her part of it. Death is not fun and were all different. But I know I loved my girl more than ever!!! So hope all went well seen this is 2 years old. But I'm in the middle of it. Scared I don't know what to do? Got some texts from her today saying it was her. Saying to come see her. But the writer was unknown and played with my emotions. I would love nothing more to jump on the fastest plane. But what if it weren't her? Then your on your own. I'm lost I sure do miss her. Wish she could see how miserable I am without her. Maybe she will maybe not that's my burning question. Min by min hour by hour dam these are some long dam nights. Hoping my phone would ring with her name on it. I love her and there is no doubt not 1 little bit. Just don't wanna lose her. Questions unknown. Hope your story finished with a happy ending. Wish me luck cause I'm in for a challenge. Red
It shows him where he falls short, Anon. It reveals to him where you're on two different pages. Not because there's anything wrong with you, but because he's not right there with you!
But he is willing to right away I bet. He needs to show her more. No more time for wasting. Roll up the sleeves put your work clothes on n time to get to business! Nothing worth it is easy. And things need to be done but I bet you more than anything he will put that shovel in the ground. Men are funny. We don't think how you must of felt. But if you were miserable did you tell him? Do you know if he loves you? Do you think he can provide for a future. Tell you something. If you and him are wanting to be together? He would be there fast as he could. Give him a shot. Cause what I have read he ment nothing by no communication for a few days. Maybe his phone was broken. He loves you I can tell!!! You a betting woman? Cause you got you a keeper in front of you. I can see the love in his words. He loves ya beleave me I got a good felling. Red
You're so welcome, Anon. I'm glad to hear you've able to grow and learn through this in spite of how hard it's been on you. You're never alone in what you're going through!
Ya I am without her. Red
He is a selfish person all men are the same they have all came up with this big notion that us women need them and can't make it without them .he is the loser not you for he will regret that action someday when he ends up all alone.you hold your head up and do not take that from any man God Bless
I encountered this lady on Hangouts Chat her name is Michelle she's a lesbian and she's refusing to tell me how she's a lesbian she keeps hitting on me wanting me to believe she has feelings for me when she does not.
You don't need him, nor his friendship. That's a cover-up for something else inside you. You never had his friendship to begin with. 2 months is not enough to get to know someone or to deem them worthy of you. You're choosing to torture yourself over a complete stranger. On top of that, he's not in a good place to take on a new relationship.
Focus on yourself, bring back your attention where it belongs: your dreams, your life, people who are there for you and who love you for who you are.
It doesn't matter what he thinks. You offered your love, he's not interested so there's nothing else for you to do. Give yourself a break. Save your generosity for yourself and for those who are able and willing to reciprocate it.
I agree with Angel. You did all you can do. You reached out more than once. If someone want to be with you, you will know it. Let it go...but make sure you block his number & texts because he is going to realize he lost someone wonderful and will try to contact you again. Dont give him that chance to disrespect you again...KNOW YOUR WORTH ! I wish you well !
Roxxy