Have you ever met a guy, hung out with him for a while, maybe even went out with him on a date, and you thought everything went so well – but then he never called?
You just can't understand it – it seemed like you hit it off so well.
You had butterflies in your stomach just thinking about him. The two of you had such a great time, you were sure he could be the one. Mr. Right.
He probably told you that he had a great time and that he'd love to see you again – maybe he even set up a vague next date, like "let's get together next weekend" or something along those lines.
The next day you were hoping he'd call, just to say hi and maybe talk a while. But the day just kept going by without so much as a text. Well, maybe he was just busy, or didn't want to seem too forward, you rationalize to yourself. I'm sure he'll call tomorrow.
You spend the next day again constantly checking your phone for missed calls. Do you still have service? You check your email and Facebook accounts for any messages – still nothing. You start wondering if your texting service is down.
After two more days of this, you finally come to the sad realization that it looks like he's just not going to call.
Why didn't he call?
That's when you start thinking of what could have kept him from calling. Maybe he lost your number – you saw him put it into his phone, but maybe he dropped his phone into that fountain in front of the mall, and your number went with it.
Maybe he got into a car accident and he's lying unconscious in a hospital somewhere, and his friends and family had no idea that he had just fallen in love with the woman of his dreams.
Of course, you're a smart woman and you know that these scenarios are extremely unlikely, but what really happened? Did he not find you attractive, maybe you weren't funny enough, or smart enough, or sexy enough?
The simple truth.
Well, here's the simple truth about why he didn't call:
It doesn't matter.
I know you think it matters, and you want to know why he didn't call. And I know that you want to call him and ask him why. But that's a really bad idea.
First of all, if you did happen to get a hold of him, which is unlikely because he's probably feels bad that he didn't call you back and just wants to avoid you, but if you did get a hold of him the 'reason' he gives you for not calling you is most likely going to be something that he makes up so that you don't feel bad.
He might tell you that it's because he's going through a difficult time right now in his life, and he's just not ready for a relationship.
He might tell you he's still getting over his ex, and he doesn't want this to be a rebound relationship and just wind up hurting you.
He might tell you any number of reasons that he came up with purely to avoid hurting your feelings (unless he really has no feelings, in which case he might just be brutally honest, which would probably be worse).
But while these reasons may avoid hurting your feelings in the short term, they also keep you hanging on to a sliver of hope that he'll change his mind, that he'll suddenly get over his difficulties or his ex or whatever, and he'll be ready for the amazing relationship that you just know you could have together.
But you'll be hanging onto nothing.
The best you can hope for is the old standby "It's not you, it's me". That's about as close to the truth as you're going to get. He's right – it is him. You didn't do anything wrong. All you did was be yourself, which is all you can do.
The truth is that he simply decided that the two of you weren't a good fit, for whatever reason.
And the reason doesn't matter.
It just doesn't matter.
I know you probably still think it matters. Because if you just knew the reason then you could show him that he's wrong, you could show him the real you and he'd realize how great you could be together.
Or, if you knew the reason you could learn from your mistakes and make sure it doesn't happen again.
But, you see, that would be a very, very bad thing. That would mean that you are changing who you are because of what ONE guy thought about you, and that's something that you never, ever want to do.
Why? Because you are perfect the way you are.
And if you try to change something about yourself, all you're going to do is create anxiety and confusion within your own mind, within your subconscious, within yourself. And that will dim the shining light of you. This will make it more difficult, if not impossible, for the right guy to find you.
The problem is that all of this leads to us trying to be something that we're not. This is what leads to anxiety and fear, both of which inevitably lead to something worse.
Before you know it, you don't even know who you are any more, much less be able to shine the light of who you are for the world to see.
The bottom line is that even though you felt a terrific connection, he didn't. And I can tell you why.
He wasn't the right guy for you.
It's actually great news – because you didn't waste any more time with him than you had to. You moved on as quickly as possible. Meaning that you are once again free and open to finding the guy who IS right for you – the one that you really can spend the rest of your life with in happiness.
So go ahead and forget about him – delete his number out of your phone if you have it, take him off of your Facebook friend list, do whatever else you need to do to stop thinking about him, and just forget about him.
But first, quietly and softly to yourself, thank him.
Thank him for not causing you any more heartache, and setting you free to find the true love of your life. That's what does matter!
Do you have a story of a time when you had a great date or felt a connection, but he never called? Tell us all about it in the comments!