Our dear friend, who calls herself "Agonizing in Ohio", is asking the questions just about all of us have asked ourselves at one time or another (some of us many, many times): Why hasn't he called, and should I call him?
Here's her story:
Hello,
I'm 53, have been married once, and single for 21 yrs. I'm a entrepreneur for the last 25 yrs, I am most attracted to entrepreneurs.
I know what I want, and would like to find love, and someone to spend my days and nights with, but more than that, someone to build a future with.
On Sept 1, I started talking to a man, he's a entrepreneur, handsome, my age, our kids are grown, he's been divorced for three yrs, and when we met he said he was tired of being the third wheel. We live 90 miles from each other, but that doesn't really matter - I'm in his area all the time with my work.
We talked or texted or emailed almost everyday for the last two months. We've had two dates that were amazing - at dinner we would look into each others eyes, and giggle like two kids in love. He seemed very sincere, polite, always called when he said he would.
He told me he loved my laugh, and after the date, I was the best part of his weekend - even said maybe next spring I could go to France with him. We were building on our conversation, on how we were alike, and how he understood me.
He was in France for a week and emailed and sent pictures everyday, said he couldn't wait to see me when he got back....
Here's where it always gets tricky: WORK, ENTREPRENEUR.
He bought a company a year ago, and has 20 employees, also is a very successful CEO for several other companies. When he got back we talked Monday, but I noticed he didn't say I'll call you tomorrow or in a couple days.
I didn't hear from him for three days,so I texted him to make sure everything was OK, he texted me back, and yes that it was, that he was typing notes from day 1 of Q4 strategic planning session, and tomorrow day 2...He said sorry for being AWOL...Xxoo
I said that's fine, I understand.
In another text, he told me things were just crazy right now!!!! He said he missed me, and that was 2 weeks ago...
My three part question is: Can you be too busy, and should I wait to see if he calls by the holiday, and does it matter who does the calling if its right?
Thanks for your time!
- Agonizing in Ohio.
My Response:
Dear Agonizing in Ohio,
In a word: No. Someone can never be too busy to connect with you in some way if he really wants to.
And that really is as simple as it is.
Think about yourself: if you want to connect with someone, if you enjoy spending time with someone, hearing their voice, hearing how they’re doing, sharing what’s going on with you while listening to what’s going on with them, you reach out.
You find the time to connect in even a small way, as much as you can. Especially in the beginning – which this is now, being under 3 months that you've known each other.
But specifically what that looks like to an entrepreneur who is running his own business, as well as several others, may be different from what it looks like to you. While you may also be an entrepreneur who understands the time and schedule involved with running your own business, you may still put love, and specifically, a love relationship, at a higher priority than he does.
He may be so busy with his life because his priority really is his work, and a love relationship may simply be a much lower a priority for him than it is for you.
It’s the change in pattern that is the most telling, that he went from calling, texting or emailing you “almost everyday for the last two months” to no contact for two weeks. And specifically, when he came back you noticed he didn’t say when you could expect to hear from him again - something else that you obviously picked up on as being different from his usual pattern with you.
Because, of course, one would think that he would want to see you again if he just got back.
But instead, you didn't hear from him for three more days, when you reached out again to see if everything was OK. Again, you obviously sensed something more in this lapse in contact from what you had come to expect. His response that things were crazily busy with work, and he was sorry for being AWOL, could be understandable, except for the fact that he hasn't called or texted for two more weeks.
Two very long weeks, I would imagine is what it feels like to you.
My question to you is: Do you want to wait until the holidays to see if you've heard from him, or is this waiting, this wondering, this need you have to know what he's really feeling - is this any more agonizing than putting yourself out there again to confirm what it sounds like you already know?
Because that’s what this is really about.
It's not about following any set of rules or living by someone else’s advice - it's about being true to yourself and looking at this from a place of your own power. From the perspective of a woman that knows who she is and what she deserves and refuses to settle for anything less than that.
Whatever has changed for him is entirely about him.
If he’s so busy right now with the acquisition of this new company that he has no time at all for any kind of contact, then that's simply where he’s at.
It’s great information for you, though, because it’s telling you more about him and what he’s really looking for and what he’s not. It’s revealing what he’s capable of giving you when he’s crazy busy, and what he’s comfortable with in terms of communication with you during these times.
Can you live with this?
Take back your power and turn this around from your own center of that power, Agonizing, because this also has to work for you if it’s going to work at all.
Are you OK with what he’s able to give you?
That’s the most telling question underlying all the other questions you want to know the answers to. He’s going to do what works for him. He’s going to behave in a way that reflects what he’s most comfortable with.
It’s his actions that you’re seeing that tell you so much more than his words ever could. It’s why you’re here.
Because you're absolutely right that if the two of you are on the same page, if you both want the same thing with each other, then you reaching out to him won’t change anything. And if you’re not, and if he doesn’t, it won’t change that either.
He’s given you his answer already. Where the answers really lie, are with you.
Love,
Jane
What do you think? Should our dear friend Agonizing in Ohio call him, or let it go and move on? Let us know what you think in the comments!
This blog has hit the nail on its head regarding the materialistic, game playing from men and woman who have put business before the devotion of unconditional love.
All I see in this article is a woman who is choosing a man because of his entrepreneurial assets and not looking at the way a man ..a human being is treating you. Why are people putting those who think they have it all because of money and power on a pedastool.
The trouble with society and some superficial relationships they are in these relationships due to a mutual benefit scheme. If this woman is successful financially and capable of looking after herself, why can you not just go for a man who is able to be genuine and loving with his sincere heart able to add richness to your life because of his intention.
Sounds as though this person is looking for material success and a superficial relationship.
Men and women we are living in an instant gratification society where now women can take care of themselves more then men. Why not just realise you can look after yourself and find someone genuine with a good heart who can love you just the same. They are out there. But maybe people are too fearful now and superficial to appreciate real unconditional love.
No matter how rich you are you can still be poor in intention. What is needed in this sick society that is being nutured is real union a real bond between two people, giving to something higher than YOURSELF. Your job, business and health can be taken away in instant find that person who will be there for you through the highs and lows of life, and you devote yourself to that union too. Do not choose someone just because they can provide and procure material things. Hence why many relationships are in chaos. Don't play game,s abandon your fear and pride and love with your head, but give, and if someone choose to nurture and appreciate that, thatts beautiful. I f someone chooses to abuse it or take advantage, its not personal, it's their character and you have a choice to leave or make it work. Its not failure its reality.
Too many people are buying into these false psychological romantic issues which just are self harming.
Hi Realist,
I think you're making a mountain out of a mole hill. I don't think this woman is going out of her way and applying a filter that says "If not an entrepreneur, then pass." And besides, just because they are an entrepreneur does not preclude them from being a loving and sincere man either. I recognize where you're coming from (just look at the women on Match.com who state they want a man who's income is $150,000 +" but don't go around making a judgement about somebody's character because of that. It's simply a preference. I have my preferences and have landed a great and budding relationship with a woman who falls perfectly in line with them: Does that make me a shallow person for excluding the population of women that are vastly outside of my preferences that are just as loving? Not at all.
Have a good Thanksgiving.
Eric
Its very obvious that he is not welling to commit , and he was only filling his time until he is busy in work again due to some unknown reasons that he didnt confess to you . I think Agonizing OHIO should not call , should go out and date other men , younger and older , enjoy her life and never ever wait for a man to give her a life. You are over 50 which means you can handle your life and be happy that you are healthy and can attract men , this will bring you happier men than this one who seems with problems since he came saying " he doesn't want to be the 3rd wheel ". This "sentence" meant he had some hidden problems that you wouldnt want to go through! Go out and promise yourself to be happy , ignore his calls and if he wants you he will dig the ground to get you back!
Exactly, Sama. Thank you!
I was at this same spot last year and all I can say is walk away. Your peace of mind is worth more than anyone putting you through any form of emotional roller coaster. In my case when I noticed he was being distant I was also sick and rather than be the guy that would check regularly on me via phone calls etc as the relationship was long distance his excuse was he was busy at work as he just started a new job.
No one is that busy and if they are and you want more then they are not the one for you its that simple. I must say that because this situation was out of character i asked questions and reached out to make sure there wasn't anything serious going on with him and when i realized he still had a pulse and a heartbeat I closed that chapter and moved on.
Fast forward 8 months later and I met an amazing guy in my neck of the woods and we have been together since. I don't have to ask for attention from my new man as he showers me with time, affection and love. He has a daughter who I have met and his family as well. No matter how busy he is he makes sure he calls or communicates each day and plans so we see each other at least twice a week.
Love is not a noun its a verb so really it doesn't matter what anyone says, always judge by what they do. Letting go is always painful but better now than later when you are much more vested. Don't lose hope and don't let this get you down, your happily ever after is around the corner!
"Love is not a noun its a verb so really it doesn't matter what anyone says, always judge by what they do" - oh so true, Chika. Thank you for offering your perspective here.
OMG! Jane what's the chance that this sounds exactly like my story. I'm 53 and that's what happened to me too with this guy who went to Switzerland last summer except for I'm not on the same line of business but he is and has the same excuses.
There's something inside me that still hurts while I'm reading this and tears I have to let go while writing this comment since I just keeping all this to myself:(
Your advice is keeping me strong, loving yourself quotes that helps me heal and I know I need to work on getting a higher self-esteem.. from calling or texting that I know all I have to do is just stop doing it but I still can't:)
Thanks and have a great weekend!!
Lily
I really feel for this woman. I think weve all be there. It hurts a lot, but though this pain inner strength will occur. Do not call him at all!! She needs to create her own amazing life without him. If he calls just be happy. Good things will happen for her when she creates her own happiness. Never call him!! Only call him back if a man doesnt call bsck after about 4 days he isnt interested. Go off have fun!! Live, love laugh !!
Agonizing OHIO- it's amazing that this Guy said that he doesn't want to be the 3rd wheel , but that exactly what he is doing to you. He is putting himself & his business before you. This is making you the 3rd wheel. I myself would want to know if the last 2 months of interaction meant anything to him or is this his way of telling you that he is not interested. I would call him on his BS- otherwise you will never know if you will always be the 3rd wheel with his businesses.
Interesting point, Robin. Thank you for adding this.
"She needs to create her own amazing life without him." So true, Missy, thank you for the words that so many of us can never hear enough.
So glad this resonated with you and is helping you through your own situation, Lily. Of course it still hurts when you have such high hopes for something with someone who doesn't share the same priorities as you when it comes to your relationship. Don't keep it all to yourself; it's in getting it out, talking about it, feeling your very real feelings about it that this gets easier. We're not meant to go through these heartbreaks alone, and there's always someone who understands what you're going through. Always here for you!
Thank you so much Jane! Feeling blessed that you're always here for us. God Bless!!
Thank you, Elle. 🙂
Jane mentioned in an earlier article about been in an effortless relation ship that focus in the now. So if he is in that mutual space with you now, it will not be an effort for both to experience things as it is. Many a times I too have been left in the spot when the other is long gone.
Oneness I have come to learn can not be faked. It just happens. So if he is not there, he is not there. time to let it be.
Ciru
"So if he is in that mutual space with you now, it will not be an effort for both to experience things as it is." - So true, Ciru. Thank you for adding this.
I think it would be fair to contact this guy and have a conversation to see if he officially wants to end the relationship or if he needs a break or to slow things down. At the age of 50 something there really is no time to guess what is going on with someone and both should have the maturity to know what they want and to be open about it. The hot and cold games are for 20 somethings who a trying to figure out what they want in their lives.
You'd think, Lj. And then sometimes, it has nothing to do with age.
Been there done that...move on,he is telling you in his own way he does not want it with you
Hi everyone, I believe that actions speak louder than words and we as women need to pay closer attention to those actions. I personally would rather be by myself than lonely in a relationship trying to figure things out. She should let him go and move on to a more mature man who isn't afraid to define things within a relationship.
"I personally would rather be by myself than lonely in a relationship trying to figure things out." - It takes so much to get there for many of us, Karla. Thanks for sharing this with us all. We absolutely need to pay closer attention to one's actions - and then trust ourselves enough to believe what we're seeing.
I think she should move on and do her own life. If he is too busy then she is too. If he really wants to see you he would of at least for a little. So in my opinion move on. If he does contact you do not go out with him right away let him. Make him wait a little and go out and you will understand were the relationship is heading. If he keeps on putting you off that he is busy then he is stating that he does not want something so serious.
Exactly, Beth. Thank you.
All these posts, with all these women (including me) with all these BUSY men, who is not calling back, not texting, giving the cold shoulder, not following up or thru is just Lame Excuses, point blank. There are 24hours in a day, and like Jane says in one of her post, unless HE is laying unconscious somewhere and that is verifiable... it's just an excuse. Yes, some may think not living up to what you expect of them is terrible and their high road is to be wimp and keep quiet and at a distance. I think however that is a cowardly attitude. As women we tend to hang on to all the sweet things we heard in the beginning. We are suckers for that.... We can't believe or accept when things change, and especially if things were going well. I have experienced it!! Oh bwoy, have i suffered emotionally!! but that's an Un REAL man for you. At least one who doesn't quite know what he wants, nor want to let you go entirely. As women, we would prefer closure. Yes that would be nice, but I have been speaking to this Busy Unavailable man for awhile... was thrilled to hear all the nice things, Communication has dwindled to merely nothing. I asked for the talk, I wasn't given the courtesy of that. With all the apologies of being so busy traveling and taking care of company business,,, After awhile, does he really think I buy that?? So why wait for closure? As most of the advices posted here suggest. Go on living your life ladies/gentlemen! It's hard and painful....but it's reality, As Jane made mention before. This is your NOW. Live in the NOW! A man who is really interested WILL FIND THE TIME to be in YOUR NOW! It's been awhile now I have stopped entertaining and accepting "EXCUSES" Excuses are the patches men use to mend their garment of failure! Pay attention when they can't call you, but they surface on social media, making comments on friends pages, liking statuses, and pictures and so forth. That one minute he gave these things, he could give to you if you were priority. Some just don't bother because they don't want to hear what they think are our complaints. In any case, we need to learn to love ourselves better. HE is doing HIM! Do YOU!
Thank you, Deyandra; I couldn't have said this any better myself. "HE is doing HIM! Do YOU!" Yes, exactly!
I agree with Jane. You have to decide what you want .I had a similar situation just recently and he picked work. Great for 2 months and then realized with his new schedule of working 12 hours a day and 7 days a week .He really only had 2 hours a day of free time .Felt it wasn't fair to me and ended it. That he was holding me back from finding the right person and deserved more.
Yes, it still hurts and he has decided no contact at all.
If he is really interested, he will find time.
You have to decide, how long you want to wait.
I wish you well.
"If he is really interested, he will find time.You have to decide, how long you want to wait." Exactly, Michele. Sounds like you've walked in these same shoes. Thank you for sharing!
Hi
Here are my thoughts. Too hard really to tell what is going on. He could have another women, he could just be busy at work. Dont hold on to this relationship waiting. If he is around and you want to go out great. But get other guys in the picture!!! He may be emotionally unavailable. Maybe he doesnt want the same things you do. Your communication styles are different and already he is not making you a priority. Do you wan t to live your life this way? You need to speak to him from your heart to detemine what is going on.
If you are truly in love both of you, it will work out But you may have to make comprimises.
"Do you wan t to live your life this way?" - This what it always comes down to, Audrey. Thank you for adding your insight here; it all helps!
I know what you are talking about: I see the same things: girls who are not kind to the man I sadly still love, and he still prefered them. It is heartbreaking when you try so hard to see that it's useless. But we'll be fine. We will find our way to better days and the people who do care about us and who are a perfect fit for us. I was just struggling with a relapse after reading about how a woman can never win a man over. It was so painful to let that sink in. But I know in the end it is in my best interest to stop trying to get him to love me. He just can't. He's not right for me and that's that. Now I just have to accept it. We have a challenge and it is to keep our hearts open and soft for the ones who will be for us. We cannot allow ourselves to close off. We have to keep being the loving, kind people we are regardless of these hurts. We just need to grow wiser. Thank you for the wishes and keep that beautiful heart open. As I woman I can tell you: I am thankful to the Universe for men with kindness in them, like you.
I am so sorry. That last comment was meant for Wayne. I accidentally posted it here.
My favorite saying PAY ATTENTION to what he is saying..."I'm BUSY. I do not have time for you", Which is his prerogative, KEEP your POWER and get BUSY doing something else. DOING YOU!!! It is so much life to live, why waste it on a man that is too BUSY for you!!! You are the PRIZE!!! There is someone looking and waiting on you....He cannot find you if you are chasing someone else!!
Apsolutely right:)
"He cannot find you if you are chasing someone else!!" - oh so true, RealDavis. When our energy and focus is all on someone else, we are not available to the type of person who can give us what we're looking for - and most importantly, the one who wants to!
Hello Agonizing In Ohio,
Jane is absolutely right. It's all about this guy and whether or not you're able to, or even willing, to live with what he is able to give you, which on the face of it is not really all that much. Only two dates in two months? Did I read that write? If so, as a guy who is interested in somebody, that is absolutely appalling. Even if he were a player you'd hear back from him more frequently than that and/or what he has communicated to you so far.
Even as a guy I could never tell you what is going through his mind. He might be too busy in his own life, his own "stuff" as Jane might put it, that for whatever reason he just isn't able to be on the same page as you are for a relationship or emotionally unavailable to the circumstances he currently finds himself in.
But whatever the reason is, as Jane makes clear, it does not matter. You really have to decide for yourself, is all of this anguish that you are going through, self-inflicted or otherwise (it really is for all of us, regardless of whether or not we are male or female, as we are all finding ourselves in some situation which confronts with a choice that needs to be made: Can we live with what we are getting from our partner or not. And if we are not, we need to have the clarity and fortitude to move on for our own well-being).
It's not easy arriving at a place where you can look at both your own situation and those of others from such a perspective, but through Jane's help I am able to do so and finally work on maintaining a budding "real" relationship from a position of understanding, compassion and power, whereby I don't put my other half up on a pedestal and think of her as being somebody I absolutely can't live without--I already lost her "officially" as a girlfriend.
HTH.
Eric
Thank You Eric.I really loved reading your comment.Good luck to you in everything you do sunshine.:)
Thank you, Eric. Your perspective contributes much to this conversation. 🙂
Good Morning 🙂 I have read this over and over and really do believe the answer is in thee for her.Like you said.But i do know her situation as i was with someone the same way.He said he cared and even loved me .We knew eachother for eight months and his work kept him away too for long period of time.So when we spent time together it was lovely.Heres the problem he had an ex too, who thought it was ok to meddle in and mess things up badly and his job .But i believe he was not able to give me the time or or commitment it would take to have a wonderful relationship.Whether he had excuses or he did not text for weeks months sometime and then come back like everything was wonderful.I found myself always wondering if i should text or call .But to no avail it did not work either.I now realize he was not truthful to himself or myself as where he wanted things to be.And men hate to be in that situtation where they have to tell you this because then thye feel resposible for your tears and cant and dont want to fix it.Easier for them to walk away and not say anything.No texts calls etc.Then one day come back.I say we need to be strong like you say and dont settle.
Thank you for your insight here, Denise. It sounds like you understand what she's going through all too well. "It did not work either" - because as we always come to see in the end, unless you are both on the same page and want the same thing with each other, you cannot make it work. Regardless of who you are or what you may hope to offer someone. It is always about this!
I empathise with what this lady is going through. I wrote about a similar scenario,in an Ebook: 'A Liaison with an emotionally unavailable man' Perhaps she/you would care to read it? Yes it's a tough situation, and if she hangs around it may not get any better.
I believe this is true too it will not get better believe me i am still dealing with the emotions i feel about him and we havent seen eachother for awhile.But he sneaks in my head or my thoughts almost everyday and he has even contacted me to say hey i have been thinking about you.To tell you the truth he may be thinking about me just as this man i am sure is thinking about her but the harsh truth for the both of us is he is not emotionally ready and may never be,If you would like you could go to my blog called sweetpixiescorner.com if you would like to read on there some things maybe that would help too.Right now i am in another situation that keeps me baffled too.I think its the heart wants to be the healer at times for others but can be harmful to ourselves.As for me i am learning each day to forgive myself and move on to something wonderful. Cause girlfriend we deserve.
Hello i would love to read your book.I think it would very good for me.:) Thanks for the info.:) I have question for you .I am in another situation at this time like i said.He was in rehab before i met him and was doing very well without drinking etc.But about 5 weeks into the relationship things changed too .He started to drink a little here and then then more than lies than flirting then downright abusive from him being on a drunken stupor fall smashed his head and had a concussion drank excessive amounts of alcohol and called me names i cannot mention plus there was pushing of the face body etc.Abuse .There was emotional abuse too until about 3 weeks ago i said i am leaving .He hasn't drank since that i know of and is trying to be the lovely man who i could laugh and have fun with with.My concern is i cannot trust him and not sure if i ever will again.How do you .He says you have to learn to trust me.Do i jump ship he is an alcoholic most definitely.Or give him the chance .I know in there somewhere is telling me no too.But do you give up on people.Its the guilt i think that kills us all.Cause i am smart enough to know this is not my issue.Please would love to hear what you think.
Why would you want to subject yourself to ABUSE!! It is not our jobs to FIX people!! This is his problem!! Gulity for WHAT these are his choices...Listen to your intuition and do what you know is right for YOU not him!! Yes you are toooo smart for his BS!!! Sorry to sound HARSH but I have become soooo real these days, It took me along time to realize that I cannot fix anyone and that energy I am using I could be creating FABULOUS memories for myself. "If it makes you cry...LET IT GO"! I learned the hard way!! Hoped it helped!!
I will read 🙂
Jane,
I love what you said. That the question is that this is where he is and what he can offer and is she OK with it??
That sums it up for me too.
I would pick up the phone and simple tell him this:
That what he is doing is not OK and that until he has time for her she is taking time off from him.
In that way she is getting closure and is the one actually doing the closing.
I don't think he is interested anymore. Because if he was he would text her before he fell asleep if nothing else.
It sounds like he met someone else.
So glad this helped you too, Vic.
Dear friend in Ohio , how about telling him how upset you are and that you need more consistancy,see what he has to say , and then make a desision and remember you deserve nothing but the best x
Let him go. Live your life do your thing and know if he wants you he will come after you. Don't chase him or any man because if you chase him you will never know if he really wanted you or just gave into you. I need to know I am really wanted so I would not chase a man. When a man is really interested in you I don't care about his work, his full life or even if he is ill he will contact you in some way. That is a man that wants you. Hang in there girl there is a man searching for just you who will want and love all of you just the wonderful way you are. I am almost 70 years old and I have learned by my mistakes. I made a lot and it made me a better and stronger woman. You are special and beautiful and there is a guy that knows it. He will come to you.
Well Said Bonnie!!!
"When a man is really interested in you I don't care about his work, his full life or even if he is ill he will contact you in some way. That is a man that wants you." - Beautifully said, Bonnie. Thank you so much for adding what you've learned yourself to this conversation!
"...and a love relationship may simply be a much lower a priority for him than it is for you."
What this does is remind us (and some of us need to be reminded a lot!) that the priorities, values, and attitudes that we have are often quite different in others. And we can project the way we feel and think on others, perhaps hoping that it will make everything right. I have done this in the past, and finding out is like waking up on the deck of a rolling ship, rocking in a wave after wave storm.
I agree. It is a little tricky when we do that. I have done that so much in the past and waking up to reality has been quite painful. Best policy: focus on you, if they show interest and you're up for it you do too, if they stop, there's your answer. Move on. It really is as simple as Jane puts it. I suppose we all come to learn this at some point or another.
Jane's advice is just right. As always.
I hope everything is going better and better for you, Wayne. Big hug.
Angel, thank you. I have more good days then bad although I thought that because I put so much into it that it would work. Nope. Yet some guys I know do so little, barely a birthday card, and they are still together. I did my best and gave it all. But this is the Marlot speaking tonight, lol.
All the best to you and everyone doing their best to figure this out. And thank you for the hugs. Your kindness is much appreciated.
Oops... This was meant to be here, not where I accidentally posted it: I know what you are talking about: I see the same things: girls who are not kind to the man I sadly still love, and he still prefered them. It is heartbreaking when you try so hard to see that it's useless. But we'll be fine. We will find our way to better days and the people who do care about us and who are a perfect fit for us. I was just struggling with a relapse after reading about how a woman can never win a man over. It was so painful to let that sink in. But I know in the end it is in my best interest to stop trying to get him to love me. He just can't. He's not right for me and that's that. Now I just have to accept it. We have a challenge and it is to keep our hearts open and soft for the ones who will be for us. We cannot allow ourselves to close off. We have to keep being the loving, kind people we are regardless of these hurts. We just need to grow wiser. Thank you for the wishes and keep that beautiful heart open. As I woman I can tell you: I am thankful to the Universe for men with kindness in them, like you.
You're getting good at this, Wayne. I'm seeing the light coming through more and more for you. One of these days you're going to wake up and realize it was never, ever about you - and believe it for yourself. 🙂
I think that you should call almost every other day, just to make sure that he's ok so that he can see for him self that not onlt that you like him, but you also care. Its doesn't really matter who call. And as ladies we take the simplest things hard. Member hes busy, and if you was in his position you will want him to understand. Dont give up. And stay strong.
Honestly it doesn't matter what anyone else think. At the end of the day it'd you who has to live with your choices. Do you want a relationship with hi? I'd you do then reach out. If you don't want to be with then let it go. It dosen't matter who calls who. If it's what you both want then theres nothing wrong with reaching out even if it usually him that reaches out. It's shows that you care. Good luck with whichever choice you make.
so true.agree with you 100%.people tend to involve people in there relationships. And that when the relationship starts going down ward. Yes you want advice but not every advice is real in terms of want you want. Is our minds that get confuse because while some will say stay and see some may say for you to walk away, next minute you do that and make a big mistake.
Exactly, Kerneisha. It's always about what you can personally live with and what you can't. No one can make these decisions for you because they're not you!
"At the end of the day it's you who has to live with your choices." - Exactly, Taja! It's what it always comes down to.
Two weeks no contact? I wouldn't be waiting around . Date other men to take your mind of this man.
My thoughts exactly.
Thank you, Gab!
i personally think that she should let go and move on. if you want to be with someone you will want to spent time and hear how they are doing. let it go Gods time is the best
"If you want to be with someone you will want to spent time and hear how they are doing." - So true, Gloria!
Gold....no, better yet: platinum! Swift, precise. Nothing to say here. This is the clarity I want to have from here on out. Thank you, Jane soooooo much for helping us all the way you do. Have I told you you are a precious gift the Universe has given us? This is so valuable to me. It was what started helping me get out of this really sad, negative place of feeling powerless. A million thanks yet again. Bless you.
You're so sweet, Angel. Thank you! I'm so glad you're feeling your own power; this is how we stand up in a way we've never even known we could stand. We're the only ones who limit ourselves like we do. And how we do!
My dear friend i have been in the very same situation, and i strongly believe that if he wanted you to be apart of his life he needs to make time for you. I use to contact my boyfriend always, visit him always and many more but i realized that if he wanted me in his life as much as he claims that he needs me their he needs to step up to plate and be the man. I love him dearly but the more you brake free from doing the obvious you will come to the conclusion that their is a few skaletons in his closed. I contacted my boyfriend on Monday and made a grusome discovery. So doll this is what i told myself, i am beautifull, i am smart, i am extremely sexy and i know how to carry myself as a woman and if he cant value or appreciate that with in me to be his woman why should i bother. I might not be his dream but i will surely be someone else dream. Keep well and please dont contact him first you deserve more.
its true
BRAVO!!!!
Very well spoken.Wonderfu;)
"I am beautiful, I am smart, I am extremely sexy and I know how to carry myself as a woman and if he can't value or appreciate that with in me to be his woman why should I bother. I might not be his dream but I will surely be someone else dream." And you are, Eustacia! Don't ever, ever be with someone who gives you any reason to believe otherwise; this is your beautiful truth.
Being busy is an excuse. I've know many very busy people who make a point to make time for the ones that matter most. Like the saying goes: If they don't appreciate your presence then let them appreciate your absence.
Beautiful words 🙂
Exactly, Jackie. We're the ones who make it so much more complicated than this.