Finding your YOU that leads to TWO
We say too much.
They pull back, they pull away.
We stop talking.
We've learned.
We don't say enough.
They call us boring.
We start saying more.
We've learned.
But what have we really learned except how to pay even closer attention than we already do, to what they say, what they don't say, how they respond, how they don't respond?
To the high self-esteemed among us, what they learn is something very different from what we learn.Continue Reading
That's it.
That's the most important question you can answer that's going to bring you the results you're looking for.
Every day, you tell me your stories of why you do the things you do, why you can't stop doing those things, why what you believe is just the way it is and why you've given up on hoping it's ever going to be any different for you.
I listen. And then I ask you that most important question you NEED to answer before ANYTHING is going to be different for you.
Why?
Why are you too old?
Why are you so unique that you're going to be the one person that never finds anyone while everyone else does?Continue Reading
Nikki's writing to me today about challenges she's experienced around her friendships with other women. She's looking for some advice and I've got some for her! See if this is something you can relate to as well.
Dear Jane,
Thank you for this website. Every article you have written has applied to me. I really needed to read ALMOST ALL your articles today. I am "that single girl". Smart, attractive, nice funny, great job, etc. but can't keep a man or friends for that matter.
I have been the girl to stay in bad relationships for fear of being alone, compromising myself to fit in with people that did not honor me. I am also the single girl at all family gathering. Yes, even the young ones in the family, are married and popping out babies.Continue Reading
I started a coaching session with a woman yesterday with the same question I've got for you.
Like most of us who've been here, she's got a guy she's hearing less and less from and is struggling to get over him once and for all.
I knew this was going to be a long session and I wanted to get to the heart of the matter to get her some relief right away, so I narrowed it down to one single question whose answer stood out as soon as she told me her story. I needed her to make this connection so she could see the significance of it, too.
What is the one skill you feel you're lacking? Or, put another way, what is the one thing you wish you could do that would make you feel so much better right now?Continue Reading
You've been waiting for someone your whole life, haven't you?
Whether it was your mom to love you, your dad to be proud of you, or your teachers to like you, your friends to include you, your boyfriends to never leave you, you've been waiting for someone to do something you wanted them to do your entire life.
To love you.
To want you.
To hold you.
To be with you.
To choose you.
To commit to you.
To never, ever leave you.
Except that never worked out the way it was supposed to.Continue Reading
I want to be so gentle here with you, because I know exactly how it feels when you're in this situation.
You love this guy. You don't want to just let him go and start your own life.
Sure it feels good to say "I'm leaving him" and hear the cheers from every woman who's gone before you, every woman who's ever made this difficult choice herself, but this was never the way you wanted it.
You never chose this heartbreak, and all you wanted was for him to change back to the way he used to be when you fell in love with him in the first place.
You're lonely without him. You're lonely with him. You don't know which is worse and you're afraid to find out in case you make the wrong choice.
This was always the hardest decision you were ever going to make.Continue Reading
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