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"I'm So Disappointed in You"

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A beautiful woman with her face in her hands wonders what to do.
The words cut so deep.

Did you feel that one?

I know I did.

It starts as a memory. A memory we feel down to the very core of our being. “I’m so disappointed in you.”

And then it carries over into every part of our lives for a long, long time.

It’s a cycle. A pattern that’s easily predictable.

You disappoint someone – because you will, you know. And it all comes back.

But why is this all your responsibility? Isn’t it equally shared by the person who has such unrealistic standards of perfection for you that they can even dare to stand there from a position of “I’m disappointed in you”?

Why is this not on them? Why is it all on you?Continue Reading

I Think I Deserve More

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Close up of womans hand using mobile phone on a bokeh background, symbolizing that her boyfriend doesn't text her.
A lot of his texts are the exact same ones that I send to him.

Ever wondered if you were wasting your time with someone? I hear you. And so does Kim. She wrote to me last week asking for my thoughts on her own situation. I'm sharing them here for her ... and you.

Her Story:

Hi Jane,

I have been divorced for 20 years and have dated and the longest relationship I had was 4 years.

My priority was always my daughter and since I had her 90% of the time, dating just didn’t fit into my life. I was enjoying my freedom when I did not have my daughter.

As she got older, I signed up for a dating site. Even though I still didn’t have time to date, it was nice getting the attention and companionship that I was missing. I met some nice men, but my feelings for most of the years were that I did not want an exclusive relationship.

I went on and off different dating sites because I got tired of the same games that were out there and I needed a break. But, would always get drawn back in to try again.Continue Reading

Yes, You Have One Too.

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A beautiful woman sits on a beach thinking about her absentee boyfriend, wondering why she loves him so much.
You won't know where it is until it's been crossed.

You have a line.

We all do.

I don't know where yours is, but somewhere along the way, you'll find it.

It hasn't been crossed yet or you would know, because something would be different. Nothing would be the same.

It wakes us up. It brings our excuses to a halt. It brings out a side of us we've never known before.

It's your boundary. Your line in the sand. The one thing you won't stand for.

You won't know you have it until it's so clearly right there in front of you.

And then, even if you don't think you have the strength or resolve to stand, you will. Even if the conscious part of you can't do it, your subconscious will.Continue Reading

Are These the Ones You're Listening To?

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Portrait of a beautiful worried woman using a laptop in the night at home
Don’t let their opinions carry so much weight.

You don’t say it out loud, but it’s there.

You think it has to be you.

Everything you’re not.

Everything everyone else is.

Everything you think you need to be.

But it’s not!

Exactly who you are is enough.

Exactly where you’re at right now is all part of this journey.

Don’t buy into a culture that dictates what you need to be to be loved, to have love, in order to get that love.

Love doesn’t work that way. It shows up both when you least expect it and when you most expect it.

In the perfect time either way.Continue Reading

Don't Do This to Yourself

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A woman rubs her head because she's confused wondering if he's into her or not.
You deserve so much more than this!

You've waited.

You've given him space.

You've waited some more.

You've initiated contact with him when you could wait no longer to understand what is going on. And yet he treats you like it's nothing.

Like you are nothing to him.

He agrees to talk, but can't even confirm this and leaves you hanging.

Let him go. Let it be.

You deserve so much more than this. So much more than him. Yes, he looked at you like that; yes, he gave you all those signs that seemed to say he was in it, too. But for whatever reason, he's not there.

Maybe it's his busy job, maybe it's his past, maybe it's a million other things that you could drive yourself crazy over trying to figure him out.

Don't do this to yourself.Continue Reading

Does It Feel Like It’s Never Enough?

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Beautiful woman looking into a mirror.
I want you try something for me today.

I’m hearing you tonight.

Another disappointment. One more loss. More hopes dashed. And it feels like nothing has changed, and never will.

Where do you go from here?

How do you get back hope when summoning up any kind of hope at all was already too much to ask?Continue Reading

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