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Are you still with that guy who doesn't treat you well?

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young attractive couple in relationship problem with internet mobile phone addiction boyfriend ignoring sad neglected and bored girlfriend at home couch feeling depressed and lonely
Why would anyone choose that?

I want to be so clear about this because most of you won’t even realize you’re doing exactly what my client on one of my calls today is doing.

It’s subconscious.

If you're choosing someone who doesn’t treat you well - a player etc., this isn't about getting a guy, this isn't about a guy at all. It's about one thing - you proving your worth.

And before you say no, that's not me that’s someone else but not me, I want you to realize this isn't something you're going to be able to see on your own because it's subconscious.

The proof is right here when you ask yourself why would anyone ever choose someone who doesn't treat them well, why would anyone ever choose someone who is seeing other women, who doesn't prioritize them, why would anyone want a guy who makes them feel more alone and worse about themselves?

Why would anyone choose that?Continue Reading

Doing this ONE thing is going to make it EASIER on you!

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A beautiful woman holds her hair up while looking at the ocean.
Can you see this?

The most tragic part of loving the wrong people for us - the ones who don't love us back or love us the way we love them - is that we take this wrong person and we stake our worth on them.

Until they love us, we're unlovable. Until they accept us, we're unacceptable.

We tie our worth to someone who has no special claim to determine our worthiness. In fact, we pick the very one who's incapable of loving anyone like us at all.

Can you see this?

It's never about a guy, never about winning someone's love. It is always about proving something about ourselves we feel we have to prove. That's a made up story someone put on us, not anything to do with real love.

Take this guy you're holding to this task that he's utterly incapable of and never signed up for in the first place. Let him be just an ordinary guy.

Give yourself back your worth, your lovability, your more than acceptable status. It was never about him, but always about what we needed him to be.

If you don't need him - or any man - to validate you like this, can you see how much easier this thing you've made "the great impossible search" becomes?

Seeing this? Type "yes" here in the comments below.

It breaks my heart

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A beautiful woman is feeling lonely and sad, feeling as though nothing will ever change.
You're beautiful, you know.

You break my heart, girl. Over and over again.

I see you. You're beautiful, you know. But I know you don't.

You say your thighs are too big, your body not sexy enough, your hair not full or thick enough or too thick or too curly or whatever you see that's not enough or too much.

You only see that you're too old or not pretty enough or you've got that medical/physical condition or that other thing someone labeled you with and then you labeled yourself with it and made it your life sentence.

Too fat, too ugly, too all wrong in all the wrong ways - I hear the awful words you use with yourself and they all add up to one thing - too unlovable. And then you've gone out of your way making sure you prove to yourself exactly that - unlovable.

You pick the meanest guy in sheep's clothing.

No, he's just misunderstood you say and oh that sad childhood he had or that awful luck he's always had. No, girl, he's got what ever has happened to him because he's exactly who he is!

Continue Reading

I lived this way for years

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Beautiful woman sad sitting on the window sill and painting on glass feeling heartbroken because it's hard to move on.
I tried so hard.

I don't know who told you being single is your punishment for something you did in your past but I do know this; they were wrong.

Who you've been and what you've done is about what you thought you had to do to be loved.

Everything you did - no matter how much you know better now - was about getting someone to love you. Even if you didn't know that back then, even if you're beating yourself up now, holding yourself to some standard of perfection you could never have lived up to back then, this still isn't about some punishment you're wearing like an albatross around your neck!

I lived this way for years. Trying so hard to make the hardest cases to crack actually love me.

I measured my worth by them. The irony was, they had no clue how to love, they couldn't even love themselves, let alone someone with as much light and love as me.Continue Reading

What do YOU think makes a man commit to you?

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A beautiful woman is on a romantic date with a man.
Your answer to this question makes all the difference.

It's this part that's so telling.

I hear from women just like you every day. Saying they think it's about something they have to say or do differently. They think there's some secret answer that they haven't yet uncovered, and if they can just find that, they'll have him committing in no time.

I get it, because I went on the search for this, too. I tried all of it - everything- just to try to get my answer.

Is it this?

Play it cool. Be the cool girl.

Or this?

Act like you can take or leave him.

What about this?Continue Reading

You're Looking for the Wrong Thing

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A beautiful woman is feeling lonely and sad, feeling as though nothing will ever change.
We're going about it all the wrong way.

Something hit me the other day.

I've been thinking about this for awhile now, wondering about what makes the difference between those who have so much to offer and go on to find someone with ease, and those of us who struggle so hard to find what we're looking for, or even anything close.

I've tried to break this down for you in a way that you can clearly see what's happening, so that you can easily see this pattern, and put it into words so you can finally do something about it.

I've got those words for you now.

And what it comes down to is that most of us who are struggling so hard with meeting the right guy or the right people or the right job or the right whatever, are all struggling with the same thing.

We're on the wrong search.Continue Reading

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