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My fear of rejection is crippling me!

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A beautiful woman sits on a park bench wondering why she loves him.
I'm just plain scared.

Does the fear of rejection keep you from seeing what might be out there for you?

You're not alone.

Listen in as we hear from Ashley who shares her story and hear what I have to say to her that I'd tell you too!

Her Story:

Hi Jane,

My name is Ashley and I'm so happy I stumbled on your website. Thank you for doing what you do.

I'm learning my way through life and romantic relationships, and I think I could really use your advice. Particularly when it comes to fear of rejection.

I'm 27 years old and am navigating the dating world for the first time. I have had two serious boyfriends in my life, but both just happened naturally while I wasn't looking for a mate. Both times, I fell hard and fast for men who were ultimately very controlling and possessive.Continue Reading

Is Online Dating Helping or Hurting You?

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Beautiful woman sitting down checking her text messages using mobile phone.
Let me show you how to choose better.

Today I had a coaching session with a client going over profiles on a dating app.

I pointed out the things that I saw as obvious red flags or signs of incompatibility the way I usually do, but today something else occurred to me that may benefit you to understand, too.

Online dating is a great way to increase the number of perspective dating prospects in your life by the sheer number of how many more people are accessible to you than the usual meeting in real life, especially lately when real life has been so limited.

But there’s an important caveat to this.

You’re not meeting through mutual interests, you’re not meeting where you have a chance to see someone in their everyday life, or at least somewhere other than just as a profile on a screen.

My point is, you’ve only got a small snapshot to go on, so in that short time, it’s important to know how to use online dating apps to your advantage, not to your disadvantage.Continue Reading

I KNEW all along

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Beautiful woman smiling at text on phone from her new boyfriend.
He was so excited about me, but then...

Ever look back and realize you were right - that you just KNEW how things were going to go with a new guy you were hoping you'd be wrong about? That's what Sarah wrote to me - I just KNEW, she said. Read on to hear what she told me.

Her Story:

Hi Jane,

I love your work. After reading it and trying to do my own work for many years, I've been trying to work on expanding my "ideal" version of a man.

With that in mind, I started talking to this guy online who was outside of the "ideal" but seemed very excited about me. From the get-go, though, I had some concerns - he lives 1-2 hours away, he's somewhat recently divorced, and he's had some family issues.

I was very mindful that these all might become issues.

In fact, after learning more about him over video and phone calls, I thought to myself: There's no way this guy can be ready for what I'm looking for, given everything that's going on! (even though that's not what he was telling me and my concerns hadn't actually yet played out to be true).Continue Reading

I Never Hear From Him Unless I Text

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Woman text messaging on her phone
We texted every day, then suddenly he went quiet.

This week, we’re hearing from one of our beautiful readers who's asked to remain anonymous. I'll call her Traci - she's reaching out for some help to see what she knows is true.

Here's her question:

Hi Jane,

I read a similar story on your website - I think I need someone to help me decide!

I have been talking to this guy since early Feb of this year, we have been planning to meet up, on one occasion he had to cancel and on two occasions I have cancelled.

We text everyday and it's lovely to speak to someone. We have arranged a date and both talking about how we're really excited to see each other!

Then suddenly, he goes quiet - no reason or explanation. Now, I never hear from him unless I message and sometime he will talk for a bit and then go quiet.Continue Reading

Should You Be Dating Multiple Men at the Same Time?

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Pretty woman standing and juggling with red balls representing dating multiple men at one time.
Afraid to juggle more than one guy at a time? Here’s why you should be afraid NOT to!

With every new relationship, we learn. Every time our hearts break, we learn.

I’ll never do that again, we say. I’ll make sure to do this instead. Sound familiar?

I used to think there was something wrong with me because I couldn’t NOT jump in with both feet whenever that intense chemistry kicked in. I used to wonder why I couldn’t be like other women who managed to keep their objectivity and take their time getting to know a new guy without putting all their eggs in one basket.

Because unlike them, I spent way, way too much of my time and energy waiting for him to call, to make plans with me for the weekend.  It was such an anxiety-provoking way to live waiting on him like this, and yet doing anything else - making plans with someone else -seemed like I would be showing him I wasn’t all that interested and he would lose interest in me.

Turns out, the opposite is true. This is now one of the things I would do so differently.Continue Reading

Before You Call, Text or Message Him...

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A beautiful woman looks at her phone, wondering if she should call him.
Make sure to do this BEFORE you do something you regret!

How do you say “you blew it!”?

How do you say “if only you had called me first!"

You don’t.

She already knows it.

I can assure her that he wasn’t the right one for her. I can try to convince her that someone who really was on the same page, wanted the same thing, was truly compatible with her, would have been able to overlook what she did or said.Continue Reading

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