Never Settle

Ready to Let Go and Move On? Ask Yourself This First

A woman is looking up at question marks above her head. — You need your answers. You need to find out why.

There's something you need to know.

If you're not ready to move on from someone, if all you want is to be with him, regardless of how he's treating you right now, because you believe in him and who he is underneath the outside veneer, because you love this man no matter how dysfunctional a love it is, then nothing you do to try to move on or get over him is going to work.

Nothing.

You'd only be fighting yourself in the process.

It's so important for you to understand this because telling yourself it's not working, that you can't move on, that what people are telling you to do, like going no contact or seeking therapy, won't work anyway because you tried that before, only becomes true if what you're currently doing is actually working for you.

I've been there.

It Won’t Always Be This Way

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A woman in a white cotton dress is walking through tall grass. — Every day we wake up to an opportunity to choose something different.

If there's one thing I want you to take from what I have to say today, it's this:

It won't always be this way.

Most of how we respond, operate and act is based on the completely wrong assumption that it's always going to be this way.

That nothing is going to get better, we're never going to have the life we want, the new guy is never going to turn into the right guy, and that new job, new career opportunity is never going to happen for us.

It belies whatever we're saying on the surface because it's so deeply embedded in our subconsciousness. You don't even realize it's there except by the fact that nothing changes, nothing gets better, the new guy never turns into the right guy, and that new career opportunity never materializes.

See what happened there?

Nothing changes because we don't actually believe anything is capable of changing. For all our hope, for all our words to the contrary, our actual actions keep creating more and more of the same.

Because of that subconscious belief system again!

But things DO change.Continue Reading

Why Waiting Never Works the Way It's Supposed To

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A beautiful woman sits on a park bench wondering why she loves him. — Waiting around for something to happen won't get you where you want to be.

You sit on the sidelines waiting for something that never happens.

You spend all your energy searching for something that never comes.

And while you spend all your time waiting, hoping, comparing (and then waiting some more), there's a life that's being lost in the process. A life begging to be lived, pleading to be explored.

Not when you find him. Not when you're no longer on your own. Not when you're brave enough or ready enough in whatever way would speak readiness to you.

There's so many roads to the same place.

So many ways to catch a glimpse of some him, to find your path crosses the same path as someone you were meant to cross paths with too. But of all the roads you may choose, I know of no other road that delivers you there quite like the road of actual living.Continue Reading

First He Became Distant, Now He Just Disappears

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Beautiful woman sad sitting on the window sill and painting on glass feeling heartbroken because it's hard to move on. — I'm devastated, I can't stop crying, texting and calling him.

Beautiful Jalyn writes to tell us her story and it's one I know so many of us, myself included, have experienced first hand.

Here's what she wrote:

I was dating a guy for over a year. We are both 27.

He has two children and I have none. We went on dates, vacations, met each other’s family.

When we started dating it was a lot of red flags but I liked him a lot that I looked past all of it. We used to spend 2 days/nights together. In the last couple months he became distant. Now he disappears for a week or two.

I would get angry and send him nasty text messages calling him awful names. He would say it’s because of my temper and I’ll forgive him and take him back.

It happened at least 8 times.Continue Reading

Don't Do This to Yourself

No, You're Not Expecting Too Much

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Female hands holding a sand in form of the heart — Don't ever let yourself become numb to what love really is.

Kindness.

Gentleness.

Compassion.

Empathy.

Actions.

Not shallow words that mean nothing without the behavior to accompany them.

Look around you.

Are these what you experience from your lovers, your boyfriends, your girl friends, your family, all these ones you give so much of your time, your energy, your own kindness and gentleness and compassion and empathy to?Continue Reading

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Ready to Let Go and Move On? Ask Yourself This First

It Won’t Always Be This Way

Why Waiting Never Works the Way It's Supposed To

First He Became Distant, Now He Just Disappears

Here's what she wrote:

Don't Do This to Yourself

No, You're Not Expecting Too Much

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