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Why Waiting Never Works the Way It's Supposed To

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A beautiful woman sits on a park bench wondering why she loves him.
Waiting around for something to happen won't get you where you want to be.

You sit on the sidelines waiting for something that never happens.

You spend all your energy searching for something that never comes.

And while you spend all your time waiting, hoping, comparing (and then waiting some more), there's a life that's being lost in the process. A life begging to be lived, pleading to be explored.

Not when you find him. Not when you're no longer on your own. Not when you're brave enough or ready enough in whatever way would speak readiness to you.

There's so many roads to the same place.

So many ways to catch a glimpse of some him, to find your path crosses the same path as someone you were meant to cross paths with too. But of all the roads you may choose, I know of no other road that delivers you there quite like the road of actual living.Continue Reading

Don't Do This to Yourself

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A woman rubs her head because she's confused wondering if he's into her or not.
You deserve so much more than this!

You've waited.

You've given him space.

You've waited some more.

You've initiated contact with him when you could wait no longer to understand what is going on. And yet he treats you like it's nothing.

Like you are nothing to him.

He agrees to talk, but can't even confirm this and leaves you hanging.

Let him go. Let it be.

You deserve so much more than this. So much more than him. Yes, he looked at you like that; yes, he gave you all those signs that seemed to say he was in it, too. But for whatever reason, he's not there.

Maybe it's his busy job, maybe it's his past, maybe it's a million other things that you could drive yourself crazy over trying to figure him out.

Don't do this to yourself.Continue Reading

I Feel Like I'm Dying a Little Bit More Each Day

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Couple not talking after a fight on the sofa in living room at home
Please help my lonely relationship, I'm desperate to save us!

The letter this week comes from beautiful Kimberly, who says she's desperate to save her lonely relationship.

Here's her story:

We've been together for 5 1/2 years and he was who I had my first  time with, it's one of the few things Im still proud of.

I just turned 25 and he just turned 30.

The changes are heartbreaking: He NEVER used to constantly interrupt me how he does now. And now he's on his phone 98% of every day and through every conversation.

Somewhere along the way he totally switched from jaw-droppingly respectful to now, if I ask one simple question, he'll reply to me in the most condescending/sarcastic tone, the way you would to a dull-minded idiot by repeating step-by-step the whole situation I had a simple yes/no question to.

Ironically, I'm the one who spends every day repeating everything I say to him 4 times  because of the phone.

One night I finally snapped and told him I was about to smash it with a hammer no matter the consequences. He also crushes my spirit by micromanaging everything I do, although I know he means well and sincerely has the best intentions.Continue Reading

Why Taking the Pressure Off Is Your Fastest Route to Love!

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Ballroom dance floor abstract, digital painting in red, purple, white, blue, tan.
It's tiime to set yourself free!

There’s a song I used to love belting out the lyrics to – never mind that it was sung by a sensitive, soft-spoken man with a perm who could have been old enough to be my dad.

When I heard the words and looked up the lyrics to make sure I had them right, they resonated with me in a way that nothing had before.

It didn’t matter that I was only in my twenties myself. It didn’t matter that I was probably the last person he imagined identifying with them and he certainly hadn’t written them for someone like me.

What mattered was that in my twenties I felt old.

I had always been an old soul. I knew more and felt more and understood more than most anyone my age, and almost all of my friends and boyfriends had always been much older than me. So when first heard the song, I understood from my old soul standpoint just like everyone who it was actually intended for would.Continue Reading

Do What Feels "Light"

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Woman opening curtains in a bedroom letting the light shine on her.
Often it's simply a matter of choosing what feels "light."

I like to think of it like the light.

We can know what we don’t want, what isn’t right for us, by what feels dark, scary. What we’re afraid of.

So if we’re afraid to lose him because we don’t know if there’s anything better out there, that would be the dark.

But then there’s this beautiful place of light that few of us have been told about. It’s where we find what we do want.

It’s like marching for what we want vs. protesting against what we don’t want. There’s a beautiful difference there that happens in the energy you create and put out there.

So when you focus on what you do want instead of what you’re afraid of that you don’t want, you’re in the light. We know if something’s right for us by whether we feel like we’re in the dark or the light.Continue Reading

Living and Loving Your Life

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Beautiful-woman-living-and-loving-life
We’re the only ones who can change this for ourselves.

As much as we talk about dating, and committing, and knowing how to tell if someone is right for you or not, there is one thing that underlies so many of all those conversations.

It’s about passion. It’s about love. And most of all, it’s about you.

It’s about what’s behind the creating of a life for yourself that gives you a reason to call this living your life. It’s about what’s behind what gives you something to get up and get going for every single morning instead of leaving you feeling like pulling the covers over your head and diving back under the covers until something – anything - gets better.

It’s the difference between seeing the glass half-empty, or the reality that it’s just as much half-full. It’s what gives you the strength to carry on – because you know you’re worth it – instead of giving into that relentless little voice that says you’re not.

You see, the missing piece for so many of us is having a real life for ourselves that gives us something to live for when it matters most.

We’re the only ones who can change this for ourselves. We have to want to enough to do something about it. We have to choose to live, to refuse to be a victim, to refuse to blame anyone else, to refuse to accept the path we've previously chosen as the only way to live.

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