Finding your YOU that leads to TWO
Lost.
When it’s over. When the reality that this new place is worse than you thought it would be. When you long for the old reality that at least you knew.
How else to describe it except for one word … Lost
No matter whether you were prepared or not, can you ever really be prepared?Continue Reading
The rain was falling as I walked home from the bookstore the other day, a light gentle April rain that brought me back to another place and time. A time when yet another man who seemed to have so much potential hadn't been quite able to live up to that potential that only I had been able to see.
It was a time when running – and especially running in the rain, so out of character from who I used to be - became my therapy.
With each step, the pain lessened just a little bit more. I was doing something that I had never known I could do before. And with the support and encouragement of a new found friend, the hurt and the pain and the regrets of "if only", began to slowly lessen.
But there was something more.
I wanted him to be wrong. I wanted him to pay. I wanted him to suffer the way I felt he had made me suffer. I wanted her to suffer too; the woman he insisted was never more than a friend, the same woman who had called herself my friend, who thought nothing of finding every opportunity she could to flirt with him.
I wanted them both to pay.Continue Reading
I see you.
Over there, sitting all alone with your head in your hands.
Oh you think no one notices you, but I do.
How could I not? Not where I've been.
Because when you've been there, you're the first one to feel it when you see all the signs. Broken heart, broken dreams, broken everything, or so it feels. How can it not feel like this when you feel everything as deeply as you do?
Why?
Why did it end? What did I do that was so wrong? What did I do to deserve this?
You want to know. You weren't ready. Not like this, not the way it ended and not the way you feel now.
If you can just find some reason for it – if you can just make some sense of it - you know you'll be all right.Continue Reading
In my coaching practice, the question of how to get over a broken heart is one that I hear so often. Unfortunately, it’s a question almost all of us have asked at one time or another of anyone who was willing to listen.
Breakups are not only hard, they can frequently feel like something inside of us had died, and the loss of a relationship can often be just as painful as actually losing a loved one. And it makes sense – this person that you were so intimately involved with, that was such an intertwined part of your life, is suddenly gone, unreachable, untouchable.
Then there’s the self-blame, the resentment, the anger. Even if the breakup was amicable, and you've decided to remain friends (which I generally don’t recommend), it’s impossible to completely erase that feeling of utter loss.
And it really is a loss – a loss of the future that you had pictured with him. A loss of the future family life that you may have imagined. A loss of all of those wonderful times that you so totally believed were coming soon.
I know. I’ve been there too. Too many times to want to remember.
So how do we move on from a devastating breakup? How do we finally repair our shattered hopes, shattered dreams, shattered heart?Continue Reading
There's nothing quite like seeing the guy who just broke your heart out with someone else.
It doesn't seem to matter how much time has passed; if you haven't moved on and he has, there's nothing that stalls your progress as quickly as that sight. Seeing him with someone else, in that place where you were supposed to be. It makes you experience that heartbreak all over again.
"It was supposed to be me", you think to yourself.
How does it happen? You want to know. Why her – and not me?
I, too, spent far too many hours of my life trying to find the answers to both of those questions. Because, after all, if we know the answer to that, then we feel like we finally have some control over our lives.
After all, we've all heard the all-too familiar story of the rare guy who's been in his fair share of long-term relationships, but never found a reason to commit – until suddenly, we get the news through a friend that he's found the "right" woman for him and his previous aversion to commitment has suddenly gone away.
You wanted this with him. Why couldn't this be happening to you?
Why weren't you enough for him?Continue Reading
You know all those songs about being grateful that you didn't get what you wanted (think: Beyonce, The Best Thing I Never Had)?
Well, there's a reason.
Because when this is all over, this "going through" process that you're trying so hard not to fight right now, you'll be writing your own version of this song.
This isn't just about a relationship, it's about your life.
It's about being able to trust what you didn't believe you could. It’s about seeing things for yourself in the only way we ever really learn those real lessons in life. By going through them firsthand.
Those are the lessons that we never forget.
I understand all too well just how hard it can be to believe that, and how tired we can be of hearing our well-meaning friends and family offer the empty promises with words like “it’s going to get better soon”.Continue Reading
Recent Comments