Finding your YOU that leads to TWO
You know that guy you used to have? The one you lost? The one you think you were too much for, too needy with, or not enough of what he actually wanted you to be?
Yeah, that one.
He's gone now, right?
And you're sitting here, going back over every last conversation in your head. Every text, every message, every nuance. Until the very last one.Continue Reading
Ever been confused by an ex? I know I don't even have to ask. More like who HASN'T been confused by an ex! Read on to hear what B wrote to me. I have a feeling you'll relate.
Hi Jane,
Thanks so much for providing a safe space for me to share how I feel and get some advice!
My ex broke up with me about a month ago after dating for almost two years. We had a wonderful relationship, but like any relationship had a few ups and downs. He treated me so well and we had a lot of fun together, and the spark was undeniable. However, although I had told him I loved him, he had never said those words back. He made it clear that he felt the same way, but seemed scared to actually say it.
I felt completely blindsided when we broke up as I wasn’t expecting it. The breakup was respectful and calm, but the thing that confused me was that in the same breath as ending things he finally said the words “I love you.”
Since breaking up we have stayed in contact and even seen each other a couple of times. He has told me he doesn’t want to get back together but he wants to be friends. He will blow hot and cold over text and sometimes flirt and other times not reply for days.Continue Reading
Ever wondered why you keep attracting men with an avoidant-attachment style? Anne shared her story about someone just like this. Read on to hear what happened and my thoughts on why.
Hi Jane ...I just bought your book after another failed almost-relationship. It was so helpful, thank you. I wanted to explain my story; sorry that it’s long.
I work in a helping profession and am patient and all about feelings; I'm like so many of the women in this community.Continue Reading
We'd been talking about the guy who just broke up with her so coldly. He ended it over a text message, then blocked her.
It felt so cold. So cruel.
And like most of us who, looking back, can see that there were warning signs we ignored because we didn't want to see them, the reality is, she didn't deserve this kind of an ending without answers, without a chance to have an actual conversation.
And yet, this is where she is.
So on a particularly hard day, her birthday, when her hopes that he might reach out and send her a text or something, and she got nothing from him, she wrote to me to ask the same question that I hear from so many of you.
Did I seriously do anything wrong? From what you know of the situation with my ex, and knowing me....did I seriously do anything wrong?Continue Reading
Whenever I see a letter with capital letters and exclamation marks, I know this is a woman who desperately needs our help. Not just my help, but our whole community here. And that's exactly what I found in the email that landed in my inbox from Stacey.
HELP!!!
How am I supposed to deal with the emotions that I'm feeling now that I've finally ended my relationship of 6 years with a narcissist and he's bought the house right next door to mine?
NO contact is almost impossible.
I'm desperate for advice.
- StaceyContinue Reading
Our letter today is from Ann, who's been blindsided by a breakup after 5 years together.
Hi Jane,
My question is how do I move on after being blindsided by this breakup?
My ex and I had been together for 5 years. Looking back, there are probably some red flags that I overlooked.
When we first started dating, he was very hard to read. It took us a long time to actually determine what our relationship was, and part of this was due to the fact that when we first met, I was supposed to be moving away for grad school.
I brought up the topic of where our relationship was heading, and he said that he knew we needed to talk about it but he wasn't sure what to say because he had been in a long distance relationship in the past, and it didn't work. I had also been in one so I could understand where he was coming from.Continue Reading
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