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Why am I ALWAYS attracting struggling men?

17 Comments

Unhappy couple after fight not talking to each other
I keep attracting men who are struggling.

Have you ever been in a relationship where you lift a broken man up to where he's finally on his own two feet, only to have him leave you for another woman? If so, you can relate to beautiful Lolly who shared her heartbreak with us today.

Here's her story:

Hi Jane,

First of all I would like to say that I appreciate you and all that you do for us as women in your "small little community", being a part of Getting to True Love has brought such a tremendous change in my life, the women in this community are just as amazing, I feel like I have gained such an amazing sisterhood.

We might all be worlds apart but you have brought us together for one reason only - to find love, first within ourselves and secondly with the men out there. Thank you.

So my question today is I have noticed that I always attract men who are struggling, be it financially and emotionally, more especially financially, it's either they are still finding their way up or I meet them at the time when things are just not going well in their careers or when their businesses are not doing well.Continue Reading

Help! My boyfriend is getting distant and I'm pregnant with our baby!

16 Comments

A beautiful woman leans her head against the wall, sad about her breakup.
I think he just doesn't care about me.

Our letter today comes from Lexi, who's trying to get her boyfriend to change his behavior now that she's carrying his baby.

Her story:

My boyfriend of a year and some months has recently moved in with these terrible roommates who just drink and smoke every single day and he’s been doing the same since being with them.

I recently got kicked out of their home for I got in an argument with the owner of them being a bad influence and smoking in the room with me (I’m currently 6 months pregnant), and ever since I’ve left my bf hasn’t tried to even keep up a conversation with me over text.Continue Reading

What No One Ever Told You About Attraction and Compatibility

7 Comments

Silhouette of a woman and a man about to kiss, symbolizing love.
Yes, attraction is very important, but...

I work with a lot of divorced women who are doing this the second time around. And there's a pattern I've noticed.

The guy they chose their first time around isn't the one they're choosing this time. What they learned about their first choice is influencing their second choice.

Whether this is your own first search or you're like them, doing this the second time around, I've got something invaluable to tell you to help you in your own search.

If you're a deep and sensitive person and choose the macho guys-guy kind of men, unless you've changed who you are, your next guy needs to be a deep and sensitive guy, too. These women have found that just because their original guy lit them up because he was so different from them and they were like, "Hey, what's it like to be you?!" doesn't mean they're actually compatible with this type of guy.Continue Reading

The Biggest Lie You Were Ever Told

29 Comments

A beautiful woman looks down, sad, wondering if her boyfriend is getting distant.
You give and you give. And then you give some more. Because they told you to.

I see you, you know. Maybe because I've been you.

He treats you like he's got so many options you should be lucky he's paying any attention to you, and what do you do? You give and you give. And then you give some more.

He's a no-show. You track him down to make sure he's okay and when he finally answers you, you tell him you're the one who's sorry.

He doesn't call when he says he will. You get tired of waiting and send him a message only to hear back from him hours later that he worked late or fell asleep. You empathize with him and tell him you're sorry. You hope he gets some sleep.

Even when he ends it, you're telling him you'll always care about him and always be there for him. He doesn't say anything like that to you.

Even as he's walking away, laughing behind your back to his friends as he tells them the story. Still caring, still trying, still pining, still care-taking for his emotions, his fragile ego, his wounded younger self.Continue Reading

Is He Too Good for Me Because of My Baggage?

2 Comments

fashionable woman with lots of baggage in the middle of the street
I feel guilty bringing all of my baggage to a relationship.

Our letter today comes from one of our beautiful readers who's chosen to go by the name "LoveIs." Like most of us who have ever been attracted to someone because of their potential, LoveIs is reaching out today for some answers on the question of what to do when you're attracted more to someone's potential than what they're actually showing you they're capable of.

Sound familiar? Read on to find out what I have say on this very relevant question.

Dear Jane,

I love all of your content and the time you spend sharing your knowledge to the world really touches people. You're one of a kind. Would you share some of that knowledge with me today?

I tend to overlook men who are actually good for me and am attracted to men who aren't.

I'm talking about the emotionally unavailable, you chase him, mysterious, keeps you guessing, you wanna be the one to change him type. For some reason, this type of man I find comfort in which is in no way logical but alas, here we are.Continue Reading

He's Perfect, Except For...

12 Comments

Close up of a male musician playing acoustic guitar
He'd be absolutely perfect if it wasn't for this one little thing.

The letter this week covers a topic that I hear from so many of you that I almost could have just written this as an open letter to the community!

Here's her email:

Hi Jane,

In November, I met a wonderful guy.

After the first date, he and I agreed that we felt a strong connection and wanted to date each other exclusively. My boyfriend is truly a great guy with all the qualities I've been looking for in a potential husband and father to future children.

We've talked of getting married and having a family in the near future.

Now for the part I'm struggling with and could use some advice...but let me start off by saying we do have an age difference...I'm 28 and he's 20. My boyfriend is unemployed. He has been since before we started dating.

I expressed my concern for this situation at the very beginning. He lives with his grandparents. He's basically the only member of the family that helps them with daily needs and chores around their house.

He uses his grandmother's vehicle.Continue Reading

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About Jane Garapick

Hi, I'm Jane Garapick. I'm here to provide inspiration, support and empowerment on the journey to true love. I know what it’s like to have a broken heart, a broken dream, and a broken you. And I know for a fact, that your dreams can still come true! Read more...
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