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Breaking Free From the Emotionally Unavailable Man Who Won't Commit

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A beautiful woman walks down a path with her suitcase symbolizing that she is breaking free from an emotionally unavailable man who won't commitIt's heartbreaking, frustrating and oh so damaging to our already fragile self-esteem.

This pattern, this cycle so many of us find ourselves in unable to break free of the cycle of attracting – and being attracted to emotionally unavailable men in our lives.

What keeps us going there?

Why can't we seem to see the warning signs – and heed them?

There's always something deeper, something more, that keeps us holding on and hanging on.

We've talked about the why so many times here before.

Most of us know in our minds that we're attracted to this type of man because of who and what they represent to us, usually someone reminiscent of our fathers or mothers or some combination of both.Continue Reading

How Your Father-Daughter Relationship Drastically Affects Your Love Life

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A beautiful woman hugs her father as she thinks about how her father daughter relationship affects her love life.
Our relationship with our dad sets the stage for all our future relationships with men.

He’s our first love. Our first example of what a man is like.

From the time we enter the world, our daddy becomes our everything.

He’s the one we run to when we need to feel safe and secure. He’s the one we go to when we have something to show the world.

He’s the one we want to know will always be there for us, no matter what we do or who we become. He’s the one we long to please.

And he's the one whose approval we're always striving for.

It sets the stage

Our relationship with our dad sets the stage for all our future relationships with men.

If he was there for us, both physically and emotionally, we learn that this is what we can expect from men and this is what we look for and gravitate toward in our own relationships with men.Continue Reading

Getting Past Emotionally Unavailable Men

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A couple is seen from behind walking arm-in-arm down a wooded path, indicating that she has finally gotten past emotionally unavailable men.One of our gorgeous readers, Maria, shares her story about finally getting past the emotionally unavailable men she was typically attracted to that would always suddenly disappear on her.

She's now found real love with a great guy that she would normally have overlooked.

Here's her email:

Hi Jane,

I have spent the last year reading your articles about why he hasn't and doesn't and won't.

As these were the men I was with. Immediate attraction...then poof; the emotionally unavailable man disappeared.

Then, on a chance meeting, a man that didn't meet my "physical wow" came into my life. He was honest, and caring, and thoughtful, and emotionally available.Continue Reading

The One Little Thing That's Keeping You Stuck

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A woman sits at a desk with a book open, replaying her fairy tale romance story in her head with a castle in the background, illustrating that her story is keeping her stuck in a fairytale.
It keeps us doing the same things over and over again, whether it’s working for us or not.

We all have one.

And we’ll do anything to defend it, to keep it going.

It keeps us doing the same things over and over again whether it’s working for us or not. It isn't, but that’s not the point because we’d rather be right than to have to change it. Whether it’s why we’re still single, why we haven’t met him yet, or why it’s not our fault and we can’t possibly do anything to change it ourselves, we’re sticking to it no matter what.

What I'm talking about is our story.

We all hang on to it so tightly.

Until eventually, those tiny cracks that have started to creep into it can no longer go unnoticed and we’re forced to finally look at them for what they really are: a story. When you've been telling yourself the same thing for so long, when you've found a thousand ways to support and prove why it’s not just your story but your truth, it’s the hardest thing to see it for what it really is.

Even if it keeps on hurting you over and over again. Even if it keeps you from seeing a different way of being. Even if it could change your life if you could ever give it up.  It’s not about that. It’s become your story.Continue Reading

Three Things You Can Do When He’s Getting Emotionally Distant

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A beautiful woman stands behind a man feeling sad because he seems distant.
Is it all in your head or is he getting distant?

Why do we sometimes hold on so tightly to something that isn’t working for us?

To someone that isn’t treating us the way we deserve to be treated? Who isn’t loving us the way we were meant to be loved?

You know the scenario – it starts off with fireworks, an amazing connection; you just can’t get enough of each other. Then suddenly, he’s not calling as much, he’s out with his buddies more than he’s out with you, or you just have some gut feeling that something has changed for him.

He seems distant.

Any time a relationship I was in started taking this kind of turn for the worse I did what so many of us do. I started hanging on tighter.

Yep. Break out the stranglehold.Continue Reading

Love is NEVER Complicated

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Beautiful woman scratching her head wondering why love is so complicated.
Anytime you’re trying to explain why it really is love, just stop.

I often hear women asking whether or not their relationship is the real thing.

Wondering if the guy they’re with is the right one for them. Wondering what they should do. And in most cases, as soon as they start describing their situation, it becomes pretty clear that there’s a lot more going on in their situation than love.

If there’s one mantra to make your own, it’s one that states it clearly and simply: real love is never complicated. Ever.Continue Reading

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