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You are here: Home / Archives for emotionally unavailable

My Boyfriend Fell Out of Love With Me

24 Comments

Guy holding hands of crying woman during breakup
I did everything right and still it ended in confusion and heartbreak.

Ever wondered how someone falls out of love? Especially if that person someone falls out of love with is you? Tori did. Read on to hear what I had to say about it.

Here's her letter:

My question is regarding how one can fall out of love with someone, when everything is the same if not better over time? I have seen many bad and dysfunctional relationships and people sticking together for the wrong reasons.

My boyfriend and I met on a dating app last May and have been together for a year. The past month he was being a little distant but in a very subtle way. He was still texting me but it felt lackluster and routine. When I would flirt with him or try to make plans he wouldn’t respond with excitement but he would respond.

When I confronted him he broke out in tears saying he didn’t know why but he felt like he was “on his way out” and felt disconnected from me.Continue Reading

I Feel Like I'm Dying a Little Bit More Each Day

2 Comments

Couple not talking after a fight on the sofa in living room at home
Please help my lonely relationship, I'm desperate to save us!

The letter this week comes from beautiful Kimberly, who says she's desperate to save her lonely relationship.

Here's her story:

We've been together for 5 1/2 years and he was who I had my first  time with, it's one of the few things Im still proud of.

I just turned 25 and he just turned 30.

The changes are heartbreaking: He NEVER used to constantly interrupt me how he does now. And now he's on his phone 98% of every day and through every conversation.

Somewhere along the way he totally switched from jaw-droppingly respectful to now, if I ask one simple question, he'll reply to me in the most condescending/sarcastic tone, the way you would to a dull-minded idiot by repeating step-by-step the whole situation I had a simple yes/no question to.

Ironically, I'm the one who spends every day repeating everything I say to him 4 times  because of the phone.

One night I finally snapped and told him I was about to smash it with a hammer no matter the consequences. He also crushes my spirit by micromanaging everything I do, although I know he means well and sincerely has the best intentions.Continue Reading

The ONE Question You Need to Ask Yourself NOW If You’re Serious About Finding Real Love

8 Comments

A father plays with his young daughter.
We’re the ones who only ever wanted to be loved by him.

If you don’t get to the root, nothing changes. If you don’t find your “why”, you can’t know where to look.

And if you don’t like where you are today, change it.

How? Find your why.

Why do you keep falling for the same type of man? Why is this man so attractive to you? Why him, and not someone else?

And more specifically, why do you believe so strongly that you NEED him? What is it about him that has you putting up with things you said you’d never EVER put up with before there was him?

Most of the women I work with discover right away that almost every single one of these questions has a common denominator – and it’s not her we’re talking about here. It’s a specific man.

Namely, the man known as her dad.Continue Reading

The One Thing That Changes Everything When You're With An Emotionally Unavailable Man

18 Comments

Sad woman hugging her emotionally unavailable boyfriend and looking down.
It’s about understanding what makes one man capable of making a commitment and another completely incapable.

There are some women who come to me with a question that’s easy to answer.

When they ask if he’s worth the effort, if they should stay, if they should give him more time, the answer’s so clear from my outside perspective and with everything I’ve learned about this kind of man.

Without their emotional attachment, without their personal connection to this man who represents something they can’t yet see, I see so clearly someone who should never, ever be anywhere near them, let alone in a relationship with them.

But then there are the others. Maybe it’s you, too.Continue Reading

Why Losing the Emotionally Unavailable Man is Never, Ever a Loss

350 Comments

A beautiful woman sits on a bench in a park by herself.
It's not the loss you think it is. Here's why.

He’s gone or you left. Does it matter?

Not deep down in your heart where it hurts. Even if you were the one who said “enough”, it wasn’t really because you wanted to. It was because you felt you had to.

He couldn’t do it.

You tried everything to make him see, to show him what a mistake he was making if he threw it all away.

But the problem was, he couldn’t. He didn’t have it in him in the end. He may have tried, but we can’t speak for him. What we know is that he simply wasn’t capable.

I know you're heart broken. I know you're feeling down. But let me show you a different perspective here. One that took me years to figure out, and one I wished I’d had when I needed it most.Continue Reading

Don't Ask Him Why He's Pulling Away

37 Comments

A woman is upset after her boyfriend told her he wants to slow things down.
This is why you can't ask him why he's pulling away.

You close the door behind you. You’re safe now.

Safe.

The tears can flow, your heart can break. You’re there alone.

One more act of proof. One more thing you can’t deny.

Something has changed. And no, you don’t know why.

He talks differently, responds differently, communicates differently, acts differently, everything feels different than the way it used to be.Continue Reading

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About Jane Garapick

Hi, I'm Jane Garapick. I'm here to provide inspiration, support and empowerment on the journey to true love. I know what it’s like to have a broken heart, a broken dream, and a broken you. And I know for a fact, that your dreams can still come true! Read more...
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