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How Much Time to Allow Before Commitment?

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A beautiful woman is sitting on a beach looking at the ocean, wondering when he'll commit.
How long is reasonable for him to change his mind?

Our gorgeous friend, who has called herself "Undecided" is in a relationship with a man who doesn't want a commitment.

Here's her email:

I have known my male friend for 5 years. We were both separately married but 18 months ago my friend separated from his wife of 12 years and 6 months ago my husband passed away.

We have since then been good friends not just acquaintances.

He is a very understanding warm lovely person. We both have a disability child and both are very similar. So we understand each other.

My friend has been through two marriage breakups and I can understand why he doesn't want to commit as he doesn't want to get hurt again. I'm still getting over my late husband so I can't commit but some day I would like to have that commitment but I have to look after my children first.

I'm giving myself 5 years to get over my bereavement. I'm hoping this will be enough time for him to change his mind.

What do you think?Continue Reading

No commitment? Here's the One Thing You CAN Change About Yourself that WILL Change Him

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Silhouette of a woman and man watching the sunset over the ocean.
Change just this one thing, and watch it change everything!

You've tried everything up until now. And nothing seems to be working.

He's feeling pressured, so you back off. He's saying he's confused, so you try to help him sort through his confusion.

You give him more space – on the surface, but in your mind, there's no space between you. He's always on your mind. His last words are always on your heart. Never far away. Always ready to do something, to show him how much he should want to be with you. To try to convince him why the two of you could be the best thing ever.

But there's something you've missed here. It has nothing to do with him, but everything to do with you.Continue Reading

Stuck in the Pretense of a Relationship

23 Comments

A beautiful woman sits on a bench upset, wondering if she ruined her relationship.
What if I ruined things by leaving?

Our beautiful friend, Metta, is wondering if she may have ruined things with the man she's dating by letting him know that she wants an exclusive relationship with him.

Here's her story:

Hi Jane,

I've been reading several of your articles on dating someone who isn't wanting to commit and find them really helpful. I appreciate you sharing your gifts and insights. Hopefully you have the chance to read through this all as I would love to hear from you!!

I have been in an undefinable relationship with someone for close to a year now. He said early on that he just wants to be friends because of our age difference (he's 15 years older). However, we've continued to see each other and act as if we're dating.Continue Reading

Is There a Chance He'll Want to Become Serious After Awhile And "Come Back"?

62 Comments

Profile of a beautiful woman wondering if her guy will ever want a committed relationship.
Is there a chance, or am I just wasting my time?

Our beautiful friend, Eve, is dating a guy that has told her he doesn't want a commitment, and she's wondering what to do next.

Here's her story:

Dear Jane,

First and for all, thank you for all the good advice and real life stories. I have learned a lot from them.

My story is similar to some I already read, although I feel there is a nuance which makes me still doubt my situation.

The end of March, I met a guy through mutual interests (we were both playing Music at the same event) and after adding me on facebook, we quickly started chatting and he asked me on a date in the same week.

The date was incredible; he was thoughtful, funny, humble, intelligent and very handsome. He kissed me during the date and after a little while, asked if he could come back home with me. I wasn't planning on doing that, but for some reason, I went along with it.Continue Reading

Does He Ever Commit?

60 Comments

A man sits leaning his head on his arm looking away, afraid of commitment.
Will he ever come around?

Does he ever get past this?

This not committing, but not ending things either.

This limbo.

This one foot in your world, and one foot in another. This leaving you hanging, without a crystal ball.

Will he? Or Won’t he?

And what we most want to know; is it worth waiting it out?Continue Reading

Getting Over "The One"

52 Comments

A beautiful woman is frazzled because she can't seem to get over a breakup.
It's been FOUR months and I still cry about him almost daily.

One of our beautiful readers, Kat, was in a wonderful long term relationship with a great guy, only to have it all fall apart as soon as she told him she was ready to take things to the next level - sound familiar?

Here's her story:

Hi Jane,

I am a big fan of your website and read your posts regularly. I am trying to follow your advice and move on from a man I thought was "the one", but I am having a very hard time.

We were introduced by a mutual friend. Initially I thought he was nice, but I wasn't really interested.

I went out on a couple dates with him and didn't feel much of a spark.Continue Reading

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