Getting to TRUE Love

Finding your YOU that leads to TWO

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If you're ready to give up, read this first

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A beautiful woman is frazzled because she can't seem to get over a breakup.
Let go. Let it all go.

If you're ready to give up, I'll give up with you.

I'll stand beside you, I'll be right there with you. You won't be alone. We'll do this together.

You don't have to try so hard anymore. You don't have to keep the struggle alive.

The fact that it's so much of a struggle at all is telling you something.

Let go. Let it all go.

Turn it over to God or the Universe or some higher power that's always partnering WITH you for what's best FOR you.

Stop trying so hard. Start over.

A roof over your head. Food & water. Heat and cooling. It's Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. You start with the basics. Physical/physiological needs.

Safety. Security. Within yourself. From you, not anyone else. You can't have the rest without making sure you have those.

Now you're ready to make a plan to get all your other needs met. You're here, now. Stay with me.Continue Reading

You or your best friend - who's right?

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girl telling secret things to her girlfriend
Sometimes, we need to hear it from someone else.

What would YOU say is the reason you're single and what would YOUR BEST FRIEND say? No, I'm not yelling, just want to make sure you get both down 🙂

I was thinking about this last night. When I first meet you on a call, I will ask you this, because it matters.

I've never met anyone on my calls who was choosing to be single, even if that's what they said.

Either you're so tired of being asked if you're "still single" and you've got your defenses up so you say the same thing you've always said. Or you're so past the giving up stage that you've just accepted this as your fate.

It's no one's fate, no one's destiny; you have so much more control over your status than you've ever been led to believe!Continue Reading

Is it love? Or just what you're used to?

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A heartbroken woman with her head in her hands, wondering how do I let go?
Why does it feel like a punishment?

I've noticed a theme in the conversations we've been having lately.

I hear you say you think you're being punished.

You've had such bad luck with men, you're convinced it's got to be some form of punishment.

I hear you say you think it's because of something you did or something you should have known better to do.

I hear you say there's just some reason that you're being put through whatever it is you're going through - as if someone or something called God or love or fate - or whatever you believe in - could do something like this to you.

Drop that story, Beautiful. It's old. It's not true. It's not loving. And it's so unkind to you.Continue Reading

Lucky

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Woman upset at her crush with other girl on a sunny day
She's just lucky? Here's what really happened.

Don't tell me it can't happen for you.

She had every reason it shouldn't have happened for her, but it did.

Don't tell me it's not the same for you.

I've seen this too often. No, she didn't just get lucky. Sure, the right place and time happened. But you know why it happened?

Because she finally dumped the guy who wasn't the right one for her who she was settling for once more because she didn't want to admit she'd failed again.

Because she stopped pretending it was working when it wasn't, and she finally got up the nerve to do what she knew in her heart she had to do and started creating a life for herself doing what she actually WANTED to do instead of following what she was SUPPOSED to do.

And yes she had a horrible childhood and was divorced twice and had kids of her own and all kinds of other baggage.

But you know what? So did he. So do we all!

So when you say she just got lucky - the way you see it, so sure, let's go with that - you know when that happened?Continue Reading

If you don't fix THIS first, nothing else gets fixed either

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Woman sitting by a lake feeling all alone in her relationship.
You can't will yourself to make this easier.

It's usually after you've tried everything else that you find your way here.

When everyone else has made you feel so much worse for not being able to figure this whole life/love/relationships thing out on your own, and you can now add shame to everything else you feel.

Did they think you didn't want to be able to figure this out on your own?

Of course you did! It's no wonder you have to build up the courage to finally try again.

Maybe this time will be different, but do this enough times and it makes perfect sense why you've resorted to humor or sarcasm or just about any other coping mechanism to hide your pain.

Don't play this game anymore.

This going back to the same people you couldn't count on before to try to get some love and grace, only to feel once more that there's something wrong with you that you can't do the scariest thing; something (anything) different.Continue Reading

Once upon a time, there was a little girl with a dream. Remember her?

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Beautiful little girl with big dreams, standing in a field blowing dandelion seeds.
What ever happened to her?

You remember her, don't you? She was you, not so very long ago.

What happened to her? Where did she go? What did she give up on? What did she go through that so tragically changed her?

See, there's something we're missing.

Someone, actually.

Someone to hear our stories.

Someone to see us in those stories.

Someone who cares enough to listen without judgement.

Someone who understands because they've been there before.

If you don't have that person in your life, I have some very good news for you.

You do today.

In honor of all of you, I've decided to devote today's post to being here, listening to your stories and answering as many of your questions as I can in real time today, below in the comments section of the blog.

Share your story in the comments below. Let me know what you need. Tell me how I can help you.

I'm here for you.

Love,

Jane

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