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Should I Call it Quits or Keep Trying?

7 Comments

Street sign showing direction for should I stay or should I go.
Should I ask him what is going on, or just move on?

Our letter this week comes from beautiful Gail. She's seeing the signs of the slowly disappearing man, but she's not quite ready to let go and she's wondering if she should keep trying to work it out.

Here's what she wrote:

Hi Jane - I love your blog and have gained much insight from it - but I am still stuck with this particular dating dilemma, which I know is a fairly common one.

I have been online dating with a guy for around 4 months (we live about 7 hours car drive from each other) - I am 52, he is 56.  We hit it off right from the start and he was very romantic, telling me how he was falling for me big time, could imagine us spending our lives together, etc!

I really liked him and felt this might be the lucky charm (after several bad experiences).

He said he was really busy with his business in the run up to the end of the year, but he would make time soon to come and see me.  (Sorry, but I was not going to offer to go and visit him, I do feel that should come from him, first.)

Well, you can probably imagine what has happened.Continue Reading

Should I Reach Out To Him?

17 Comments

Woman text messaging on her phone
He hasn't called - should I reach out to him?

Today on the blog, I’m featuring a letter that could have been written by so many of you. It’s such a familiar story that just about all of us can relate to.

When we meet someone and exchange numbers and yet we don’t hear from him, we all ask ourselves the same question: Should I reach out to him?

Add on as many more words as you want, go into as many specifics as we all do, but at the end of the day, it’s always the same question: What do I do?

In this case, the letter came from one of our lovely readers, Sophie.

Here's what she wrote:

I met a guy a few weeks ago, we exchanged numbers.

The same day we talked for a few hours outside in the car. After that night I never heard from him.Continue Reading

My Boyfriend Barely Ever Calls or Texts

102 Comments

A woman looks at her phone wondering why her boyfriend hasn't called.
Is it a bad sign he doesn't want to check in with me?

Our beautiful friend, Abby, is going crazy because her boyfriend almost never calls her or texts her, and she's wondering what it means.

Here's her email:

Hi Jane!

First of all, I ADORE your website. Thanks so much for all the incredible advice you give!

So, I would love to get your perspective on this...

I've been dating a man for 3 months now. We are exclusive, and he's absolutely crazy about me when we're together in person. He's super talkative, affectionate, and I know he cares about me.

But, when we aren't together, he barely talks to me.Continue Reading

Should I Call or Text? I Don't Want to Lose Him

73 Comments

A beautiful woman looks at her phone, worried, wondering if she should call or text him.
I haven't heard from him since Sunday. Should I call or text?

What do you do when you're afraid he's going to go back to his ex? Our letter this week comes from our gorgeous friend Hannah, who is going through exactly that.

Here's her email:

Hello,

I'm desperate for your help and wouldn't normally be so needy but I don't know what to do.

Before I go into detail, here is a little break down of timings etc., as it's all a bit complicated:

2010 - My boyfriend starts dating his ex.

2013 - My boyfriend moves his ex into his house.

2013 - Things start to fizzle out between my boyfriend and his ex. She adores him but he isn't sure and she moves out of his home in November 2014 and they take a break so he can get his head straight and decide what he wants. It's in this same month that he and I start seeing each other.Continue Reading

He's Choosing, Too

105 Comments

A clock face with the words time to choose written on the face.
What he wants is what he's choosing.

Amidst all the excuses we have for him. Amidst all the stories we tell ourselves about why he treats us the way he does.

Amidst all the reasons we have for staying with him, there lies one simple truth.

He’s choosing, too.

He’s choosing to do what works for him.

He’s choosing to not call.

He’s choosing to text you for last minute plans.

These are choices, not excuses, not reasons, not subconscious dilemmas or long-thought out processes.

This is him choosing, too.Continue Reading

How Calling or Texting Him Only Changes One Thing

142 Comments

A woman is wondering if she should call or text him.
Calling or texting him won't change him, but it will change you!

It's the 21st century. A most confusing time when it comes to the age-old question of "Can I call him or do I have to wait for him to call me?"

And I know you've been overwhelmed with so many different answers to that one question. Everyone seems to have a different answer for you, with different reasons to back them up and different way of letting you know. But behind all this confusion, lies a simple basic truth that has always been the same, that will never change regardless of what our culture chooses to do.

If you call him or text him when you haven't heard from him, it won't change the way he feels about you, it won't change whether or not he was going to call you anyway.

But it will change you.

Because there's something we do with ambiguous situations like this. We go to our #1 go-to place - that place known as "overthinking".

The one where we question whether we shouldn't have said something. Or if we should have said something else instead of what we did say. Where we get hung up on  what he thought, or what his response (or non-response) meant.

Where we blame ourselves completely for what we should have known. Or for even calling or texting him at all.

This is what changes us! Continue Reading

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About Jane Garapick

Hi, I'm Jane Garapick. I'm here to provide inspiration, support and empowerment on the journey to true love. I know what it’s like to have a broken heart, a broken dream, and a broken you. And I know for a fact, that your dreams can still come true! Read more...
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