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9 Years, 1 Dog, 1 House... No Ring

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A woman holds her dogs head close, showing affection.
Could this really be the end?

Our beautiful friend, who has signed herself "Confusing Journey", has been on quite the journey indeed. She's wondering if he'll ever propose, or if this should really be the end. Read on for her story...

Here's her letter:

I have been with my boyfriend for 9 years. We met when we were 17 and 19.

We have had a great relationship, with some hiccups a long the way, him leaving, back together, me leaving... back together. The longest we ever separated for is 3 weeks though.

All of those issues occurred early in our relationship when we both were so young and we always worked through the issues. He is fun, but serious at the same time, a business major. His family says he has always been a 40 year old in a boy’s body. Lol.

He is confident and determined and is stable. I am outgoing and funny and care free. Kind of opposites, but I have seen his outgoing side and he has always been my rock.

Welllll, we were still not living together, but at our 7 year mark he decided that someone else had caught his attention and that he wanted to pursue this person.

He broke up with me and I was devastated to say the least, but in his defense he was completely up front and honest about it the whole time and 2 weeks went by of him in this limbo of does he want me, or does he want her.

Finally, I chose for him. I left for good.Continue Reading

I Feel Like I've Been Lied To

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A woman is upset talking on her cell phone.
I'm just honestly so hurt...

Our beautiful friend, who has chosen to remain anonymous (I've called her "Hurt"), feels like she's been lied to by the man she was dating.

Here's her story:

Last year around this time I started "talking" to a guy that had been my friend for the past 7 years. I knew him because he was friends with a guy who I previously "talked to" but ultimately nothing manifested between me and his friend and to be completely honest his friend was a terrible person with no real good intentions for me.

So after years of flirting we started to actually act on our feelings and started doing relationship things.

Always going out, spending quality time with each other, meeting family and friends. Everything that a couple would do.

And the moment that I felt was a serious "we must be heading towards a relationship" moment is when he confronted his friend like and man and told him what was going on between us. To make a long story short their friendship ended because of this.

Everything would go well then around the end of the summer I started to see signs that something was going on. Something was off about him.Continue Reading

I Can't Let Go and I Can't Stay...

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A street sign showing should I stay on one sign and should i go on the other.
Why am I so confused? What did I do wrong?

Our gorgeous reader, who has called herself "So Stuck", is exactly that ... so stuck. She just doesn't know what to do.

Here's her email:

Hi Jane,

First of all, thank you for your website, it has helped me in so many ways... This community you've created is making me see I'm not alone, thank you!

I need your help, I'm stuck...

I've met this man 15 years ago, we became friends. He had a girlfriend at the time and he married her, they were married for about 15 years and separated last year.

They got divorced around the same time we started talking again.

We started going out and it was perfect... For about 6 months... For the next 6 months my life became pure anxiety until he broke it off - we were together for a year.

We were planning to live together, get married, have children... the whole package. We wanted the same things. I couldn't be happier.

I've never met his family.Continue Reading

How Do I Find the Courage to Leave?

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Beautiful rocks with the word courage written on one.
How do I tell him I don't want to be with him?

One of our gorgeous readers, who has chosen to call herself "In Between", is desperately trying to find the courage to leave a relationship that she knows isn't right for her.

Here's her email:

Hi Jane,

I am a follower of yours and I have benefited tremendously from all your emails.

I am 25 years old and am in a situation. My boyfriend and best friend of about 4 years broke up with me and said that he had met someone else who he saw himself with. I had broken up with him before then we got back together, we have been best friends since we were in our late teens and we know each other so well.

I know I hurt him before when I broke up with him so I knew somehow that he did this to get revenge somehow, which did not work out so good for him because after two months, he was back on his knees saying he did not know what he was doing at the time and that he listened to some people who only wanted to break us apart and he only realized afterwards.

The only problem is, I had forgiven him quite alright, I broke contact with him and was now seeing someone else.Continue Reading

Should I Call or Text? I Don't Want to Lose Him

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A beautiful woman looks at her phone, worried, wondering if she should call or text him.
I haven't heard from him since Sunday. Should I call or text?

What do you do when you're afraid he's going to go back to his ex? Our letter this week comes from our gorgeous friend Hannah, who is going through exactly that.

Here's her email:

Hello,

I'm desperate for your help and wouldn't normally be so needy but I don't know what to do.

Before I go into detail, here is a little break down of timings etc., as it's all a bit complicated:

2010 - My boyfriend starts dating his ex.

2013 - My boyfriend moves his ex into his house.

2013 - Things start to fizzle out between my boyfriend and his ex. She adores him but he isn't sure and she moves out of his home in November 2014 and they take a break so he can get his head straight and decide what he wants. It's in this same month that he and I start seeing each other.Continue Reading

If He Really Loved Me, Would He Have Let Me Go?

33 Comments

A key lies on a table next to a red heart made from a ribbon.
All I wanted was a key!

Our question this week comes from our beautiful friend Janet, who has broken up with her boyfriend because he wouldn't move their relationship along to the next level of commitment.

Here's what she wrote:

My boyfriend of almost 3 years tells me he loves me and wants to marry me and move in with me ...but doesn't know when.

We live apart and only see one another on the weekends. I have asked for a key before to his apartment so I could wait upstairs for him when I arrive and he said it was against his values.

The other day I couldn't reach him all night....and we had a huge fight that lasted for days...when we finally spoke...I told him that I did not feel comfortable with our current arrangement and if he didn't want to live together at this time...that he should at least give me a key...so if I need to speak with him and can't reach him by phone...I can go to his house.

He said he loves me and wants to marry me...it could be as soon as next year...he doesn't know...but I already know his answer about the key and that will not change.

I told him I just didn't feel comfortable anymore...and I feel the key was kinda like the bare minimum I needed to hang in there at this point.Continue Reading

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