Getting to TRUE Love

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How You Get The Guy For REAL

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A beautiful woman has her eyes closed representing a panic attack.
It's all about what you believe.

If it feels like you've been on this search for what seems like forever, you're not alone.

Everyone has their own version of what you're doing wrong, or what you need to be doing instead. Just ask anyone, and the number of different answers you get is enough to make anyone completely confused.

In all my years of coaching women of all ages, from all walks of life, in every corner of the world there's one common denominator that stands out.

What you believe.

The women who find love, who find what they're looking for in life, believe it's possible to find something good.

It may not seem like anything significant, because after all, how does something as intangible as what you believe translate into something as practical as meeting someone? For those of you who live and breathe the practical, the logical and the measurable, it seems almost laughable.

When Do You Know?

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silhouette of feet of couple sitting on the pier at sunset beach, low angle view
After those first few months, here's what I knew.

That was her question.

In our group coaching session over the weekend, one of the women who's experiencing something that seems like real love for the first time in her life asked me about when my husband and I first said the words "I love you", and how I knew I was in love with him.

Here's what I told them ...

I didn't know what I was in with my husband. I only knew how different it felt, how real it felt compared to the fantasy kind of love relationships I was used to, the kind that broke my heart almost as soon as I gave it away.

It was a few months after we'd met for the second time. We were at his friend's wedding in Santa Barbara, California.Continue Reading

What Is Love?

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text love on black background
What does it mean to you?

What does love mean to you?

Yes, really. What does love mean to you?

This thing that you find so elusive, that comes and goes in ways you never seem to see coming. This thing you’ve banked all your hopes and dreams on. This thing you’d give anything to experience firsthand.

Is it love?

Or is it the idea of love you’re chasing after?

I ask this only because I thought I was looking for love.

I’d have argued ostensibly with anyone who tried to tell me otherwise. And yet when I finally figured out what had been going wrong with every single one of my relationships, I realized I had only been looking for my own idea of love.Continue Reading

Culture. Power. Love....and You.

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st valentine's day greeting card with candle and hearts
Especially you.

All right, Beautiful. Today’s letter comes from yours truly - me!

With our official self-love day (aka Valentine’s Day) coming up right around the corner, I'm feeling really excited.

I’m so excited about the seismic shifts going on in our culture right now, and how much we’re waking up. Some of us are waking up slowly, and some of us are waking up really, really fast.

Some of us just to want to crawl right back into bed.

Well, if you’re here, I know you're at least starting to wake up.  And I’m also pretty sure you’re a feeler. In the most beautiful sense of the word.

You feel everything - and no, that’s not a fault or a flaw - it’s an asset. A beautiful one, and one that will always have your back.

The conversations we’re starting to have in every part of our society – and especially in the corridors that were previously off limits - absolutely have to happen before anything changes.Continue Reading

A Few Things We All Need to Do

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Beautiful, happy, smiling woman lying on the field in green grass.
Smile. You'll change the world.

You say you're done with all the rest.

You say you're ready to find the love you've been searching for, like, forever.

But do you really mean it?

It's time to start living like you mean what you say!

No more excuses, no more putting your love life on hold while the days slip away.

Yes, it's going to require some work on your part. But this is one where you set the pace. How quickly you want this to happen for you is completely up to you!

It's time to start paying attention – really listening - to that self-talk you do every day. Start noticing everything you do and say that isn't the truth about you. Everything that's someone else's version of you, someone else's story that's been put on you.Continue Reading

Someone To Believe In You

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woman laughing while a friend is kissing her representing someone to believe in you.
The truth is we just can't do this on our own.

We’re not meant to do this alone.

You’re not meant to.

And yet contrary to our inner knowing that knows this to be true, we try. Again and again, we try. We’ve put on ourselves that we can do this alone. That it’s a sign of strength, a show of our power, to make it on our own.

I fall into this trap, too.

I think I can do it on my own, that I don’t need anyone else. But the truth – the real truth, not the truth we want it to be – always comes out in the end.

We never should have met. She was a Junior, I was a Freshman. In a University that neither of us intended to attend.

She had envisioned a college in the woods. I had never in my wildest dreams imagined myself in an entirely different country, in Los Angeles, California.

But it was there that we met.Continue Reading

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