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What's your why?

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The words what's your why written on white paper.
It's the most important question you can answer.

That's it.

That's the most important question you can answer that's going to bring you the results you're looking for.

Every day, you tell me your stories of why you do the things you do, why you can't stop doing those things, why what you believe is just the way it is and why you've given up on hoping it's ever going to be any different for you.

I listen. And then I ask you that most important question you NEED to answer before ANYTHING is going to be different for you.

Why?

Why are you too old?

Why are you so unique that you're going to be the one person that never finds anyone while everyone else does?Continue Reading

Change this one too

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A beautiful woman looks confused and drained with her chin resting on her palm.
If it becomes exhausting, there's something you need to do!

There's something a lot of us are doing that needs to change, too. This one keeps coming up as a behind-the-scenes theme in so many of my calls with you.

For all of us nurturers, the fixers, the harmonizers. If you're paying attention because these titles are so familiar to you, I'm saying this directly to you.

Listen. Feel this one with me.

Take a deep breath.

It's not yours to fix. It's not yours to carry.Continue Reading

Why This Year Is Going to Be Different

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Woman making personal transformation in her life, leaving an old life behind and looking forward to a new better one.
It's time for a brand new start!

Remember last January? 2020 was supposed to be your year.

The year that would be different.

The year that was supposed to give way to your dreams, your plans.

It was supposed to be the year you met him, or the year you finally left him, or the year you went back to school, the year you got that promotion, the year you quit your job, the year you stood up to him, the year you stopped letting what everyone thinks of you control so much of your life.Continue Reading

What the Mirror Means for You

49 Comments

Beautiful woman looking into a mirror.
THIS is why he has such a conflicted relationship with you.

You hold it up to see what it reveals.

You can't help it.

It's not just what you do. It's who you are.

You bring light to what never had light before.

You reveal what was always kept hidden before.

THIS is why he has such a conflicted relationship with you.

It's why he's half in and half 0ut.

It's why he gives you such mixed signals.

You're that good. That kind. That loving. That compassionate. That graceful.Continue Reading

Not Quite Ready to Let Go and Move On?

8 Comments

A beautiful woman sits on a park bench wondering why she loves him.
You're lonely with him, and you're lonely without him.

I want to be so gentle here with you, because I know exactly how it feels when you're in this situation.

You love this guy. You don't want to just let him go and start your own life.

Sure it feels good to say "I'm leaving him" and hear the cheers from every woman who's gone before you, every woman who's ever made this difficult choice herself, but this was never the way you wanted it.

You never chose this heartbreak, and all you wanted was for him to change back to the way he used to be when you fell in love with him in the first place.

You're lonely without him. You're lonely with him. You don't know which is worse and you're afraid to find out in case you make the wrong choice.

This was always the hardest decision you were ever going to make.Continue Reading

Did I seriously do anything wrong?

11 Comments

Sad beautiful woman checking phone after boyfriend broke up with her over text.
He was so cold, so cruel.

We'd been talking about the guy who just broke up with her so coldly. He ended it over a text message, then blocked her.

It felt so cold. So cruel.

And like most of us who, looking back, can see that there were warning signs we ignored because we didn't want to see them, the reality is, she didn't deserve this kind of an ending without answers, without a chance to have an actual conversation.

And yet, this is where she is.

So on a particularly hard day, her birthday, when her hopes that he might reach out and send her a text or something, and she got nothing from him, she wrote to me to ask the same question that I hear from so many of you.

Did I seriously do anything wrong? From what you know of the situation with my ex, and knowing me....did I seriously do anything wrong?Continue Reading

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