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You are here: Home / Archives for anxiety

What Your Anxiety Should Be Telling You

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A beautiful woman is holding her head in her hands wondering if her boyfriend who has commitment issues is just playing games or if he wants a committed relationship.
Stop blaming yourself.

In reading your emails, there's something that always stands out for me. It's when you talk about being anxious, feeling uneasy, being sensitive and picking up on things that you don't know what to do with.

See, when you say things like that, I see something else.

I see that you know exactly what to do, even if you don't believe you do and that's why you're writing to me.

I see you knowing this guy far better than you think you do.

I see you blaming yourself for what happened in the past because it's so easy to fall into the pattern of self-blame when we've come to look at our intuitive senses as being something that's "wrong with us" instead of a gift that lets us know what's really going on when we're so wrapped in the fantasy of what someone could be if only he wanted to be that.

There's always a reason the things you see are red flags.

How could you not take them to heart? How could you have interpreted them in any other way than you did? He's rarely a bad guy, just clearly someone who's not on the same page as you.Continue Reading

My calls are all filling up with THIS!

18 Comments

A heartbroken woman with her head in her hands, wondering how do I let go?
I see this all the time on my calls.

What's keeping you up at night? What are you most afraid of?

This is what's showing up on my calls - the fears behind the fears, the things that keep you up at night.

You find me for so many different reasons but it's usually your heartbreak over yet another guy that finally cracks everything open so you can see what's been wrong for a long, long time.

That's what I'm hearing from you right now.

Everything that's wrong in the world - in your world - and in the future as far as you can see ahead.

How will anything change? How can anything be different when it's been this way for already too long?

How do I find hope? How do I stop feeling so lonely?

How do I make my life over? Is it just too late for me?Continue Reading

Am I Blocking Love?

2 Comments

A beautfiul woman is feeling anxiety over asking for what she needs.
I think I may be sabotaging my own love life.

Our letter this week comes from Maya, who's wondering if she may be blocking love from her life.

Here's what she had to say and my response:

Hello Jane,

Thank you for all the great emails and answers I have read till now. They are really helpful to get more and more insight.

I would really like to know your idea about this since I feel I need an outer perspective.

In short, a bit of my background.

Growing up I became a people-pleaser to avoid violence. And I got scared and always looked outside myself for love, running after men. Of course with the wrong results.

Went from abusive men to boring men.Continue Reading

Panic Attacks

4 Comments

A beautiful woman has her eyes closed representing a panic attack.
Her words brought it all rushing back to me.

I had my first panic attack when I was 18.

It was Thanksgiving weekend and I was the passenger in a car of girls driving back from my girlfriend’s family home in Northern California on the 5 Freeway, along with everyone else headed back to SoCal post holiday.

I was living in Southern California at the time, attending Biola University, on a PK (Pastor’s kid) scholarship. My own family celebrated our Canadian Thanksgiving a month earlier, so my friend had included me in her family plans.

The girl in the backseat who was carpooling with us – she was a childhood friend of my new friend and lived around the corner from her although she went to a different SoCal university, she picked up on who I was immediately.Continue Reading

How To Know If It’s Your Anxiety Talking – Or Something Else

1 Comment

A beautiful woman looks at her phone feeling confused over whether she should choose commitment or chemistry.
Is it real, or are you worried over nothing?

There was a popular song by Billy Joel when I was growing up that had a line in it that went like this … “when you love someone, you’re always insecure”, and that's as true now as it was then.

Who isn’t insecure when everything seems like it’s going so well and yet you don’t really know someone well enough to know for sure?

When all you've known are relationships that gave you every reason to feel anxious, you don’t have anything like it to compare to. When you’ve given away so much of your heart, your body, and what often feels like your soul, regardless of how much we know we’re not supposed to go further than our overactive imaginations can handle, you’ve got a recipe for all kinds of anxiety to rear its head.

So how do you know how much to blame on your own anxiety and how much is being with the wrong person with real warning signs and red flags that you’re going to look back on and wonder why you didn’t see them at the time?

Well, this question came up this week in my “Engage” group coaching community, and it was such a great question, I wanted to include my answer here for you. After all, who hasn’t encountered that subtle shift where something seems to change that you can’t quite put your finger on?Continue Reading

The Very First Thing You Need To Do Is...

33 Comments

A beautiful woman is doing deep breathing exercises in order to relax, find her center, release her anxiety and let love into her life. She wants to find her true love.Stop.

And take a deep breath.

And know that it's all going to be OK. It's going to be different this time.

Because we're going to do things differently this time.

When I look back in my own life, when I was at the exact point where you are right now, when I answered the call of my heart and declared to the Universe, out loud and in no uncertain terms, that I was finally ready for the real thing, I wanted it bad and I wanted it fast.

When I finally realized that I needed to do something different, when I finally acknowledged that what I had been doing wasn't working, when I was finally done with the chasing, with the trying to make one more someone love me who wasn't meant for me, I felt like I was so ready!Continue Reading

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About Jane Garapick

Hi, I'm Jane Garapick. I'm here to provide inspiration, support and empowerment on the journey to true love. I know what it’s like to have a broken heart, a broken dream, and a broken you. And I know for a fact, that your dreams can still come true! Read more...
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