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Relationships

The Relationships category contains posts regarding the stage after dating, in which you are generally in an exclusive monogamous relationship. The Relationships category includes posts on such topics as meeting the family, commitment, is he the right one for you?, etc.

He Cheated on Me, Now He Says I Need to Let the Past Go and Trust Him

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The word trust spelled out in letter cubes.
He says I have trust issues or insecurities.

Holly's writing in today for some advice on what she should do about a guy she can't trust. He keeps trying to tell her it's her insecurities and inability to trust him that are the problem, not anything about his own behavior.

I don't think she's alone in this scenario and I have a feeling you're going to have a lot to say to her, as I did here.

Her story:

Hi Jane,

So my boyfriend and I have dated for over 2 1/2 years in total. It’s been an interesting relationship to say the least. He is a mechanic and used to work for my dad so I knew him since I was like 15 years old. He is 8 years old than I am.Continue Reading

10 Years Wasted on a Selfish Guy

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Profile of a beautiful woman wondering if her guy will ever want a committed relationship.
He has hurt me so deeply. It's changed my view of men.

You know how you stay 'just a little longer' to see if he's going to change? And then you're afraid not to stay in case you miss that change?

That's the familiar scenario I'm talking about here. This is what happens when we wait it out, not realizing the time that passes in the meantime and the days that turn to months and then years.

This is why she wrote to me with the title, subject 'It's been 10 years'. If you've been here you know how it happens and how 'I'll just see how it goes' turns into 10 long years.Continue Reading

He took everything I had. How do I live?

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Cute house on a hill in the countryside.
He took everything, my home, my savings, my future.

There are letters that I can't shake, that I want to reach through the Internet and wrap my arms around these precious souls that have given so much of themselves to someone so incapable of giving them anything back in return. Lis's was one of those and I share her letter here with you so she can feel the love and support of this community of women who've been through something like this, too.

Her story:

We were in a relationship for 9 months.

He knew my life intimately as we had always spoken openly. We were best friends, he was thoughtful considerate and kind and gradually over months I started to trust.Continue Reading

There's what HE SHOULD be doing & then there's what YOU can live with NOT doing

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Closeup of a beautiful woman is looking sad becasue her boyfriend has disappeared on her and she wants closure.
Because living with regret is much worse.

You already know he should be the one reaching out. And yeah, you shouldn't have to be the bigger person here. But we're not talking about hypotheticals here; we're talking about you.

And if it's your heart that's breaking and you're the only one who's capable of feeling anything, this is your window to do something about it.

He'll move on. He'll find someone else who accepts him just as he is even as she's nothing like you and never will be.

I've seen this play out too many times.

But we're not talking about him here, we're talking about you. You're the one who has to live with your regrets, not your friends telling you to dump him, that you deserve so much more than what you're putting up with.

I tell you that!Continue Reading

Stuck in a Long Distance Relationship with No Communication? You're Not Alone

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Close up of womans hand using mobile phone on a bokeh background, symbolizing that her boyfriend doesn't text her.
I know he's busy, but four days without even a text?

Our letter today comes from Becca, who's in a long distance relationship with a guy who's got a "too busy" schedule for her even as he's telling her he wants to settle down. She's not buying it and wants to know if she should stay or go.

Here's her story and my response:

Hi Jane,

I'm dating a film director who informed me from the jump that his schedule can be hectic and sometimes he may not be able to reply etc. He also told me his career comes before anything and anyone!

He's organizing his film premiere and I haven't heard from him in 4 days.

In general, I always get a hold of him or hear from him. We're in a long distance relationship, he's coming to see me in a couple of weeks and I just don't know if I can handle him choosing his career over me.Continue Reading

My Boyfriend is Flirting with Other Women on Twitter

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young attractive couple in relationship problem with internet mobile phone addiction boyfriend ignoring sad neglected and bored girlfriend at home couch feeling depressed and lonely
He flirts more with other women than me.

This week's letter comes from beautiful Maggie, who's confused about her relationship with a guy who's spending too much time paying attention to other women on social media, and not much on her.

Here's what she wrote:

I met a guy on Tinder in Lockdown.

We started talking on the phone for a month and getting to know each other. We couldn't go on a date coz everything was closed so I went to his apartment the first time we met and spent the weekend there.

It seemed like I knew him for months.

He asked me to be his GF and cooked for me. I said yes and we started dating.

We continued love bombing each other and everything went well until.... I found out that he was flirting with girls on his Twitter but he kept saying that it's not flirting to him because it's public so I can see it and they are just tweets.Continue Reading

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