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Relationships

The Relationships category contains posts regarding the stage after dating, in which you are generally in an exclusive monogamous relationship. The Relationships category includes posts on such topics as meeting the family, commitment, is he the right one for you?, etc.

Who is he?

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A man who is not ready to commit to a relationship is walking away into the foggy distance.
Are you seeing him for who he really is?

Who is this man who holds so much power over you?

Who is he really?

Is he some kind of superhuman? Some kind of god? Some kind of idol?

Someone so amazing, so incredible that he can affect you the way he does?

Look again. A little closer this time. Through the eyes of reality, not of potential.

He’s actually the opposite isn't he? He’s actually very human.

And to anyone else, he isn't really anything special at all. In fact, he’s the one they see so much more clearly than you. They see what he can’t give you. They see how sad you are so often. They see what you put yourself through time and time again in the name of what you always call love, just because you see something in him that they never will.

But you don’t see him that way at all.

The very things that they see and would give them reason to run, you see and it beckons you to come.

He’s the one no one else quite understands the way you do.

He’s the one you feel. He’s the one you sense.Continue Reading

I Don't Want Him to Have the Last Word

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A woman is looking at her tablet reading a nasty email from her ex after a break up.
I want to respond to his nasty email, but I know I shouldn't.

Our gorgeous friend, who I'll call "Madeline", was very hurt by a nasty email from her ex after their break up. She's having a very hard time letting go, and wants to let him know just how much he has hurt her with the things he said.

Here's her email:

Thank you for all of the tips to make this new year successful!

I am a 58 year old woman that was in a long term (17 year) on and off relationship.  Right after New Years, he broke it off (not the first time) and said some very hateful and nasty things when he did (via email, of course).

Maybe I should back up a little.....

I live in CA and he lives in Oregon.  I have lived in Oregon with him and he has lived in CA with me and 3 times we have gone our separate ways, only to eventually work things out and get together again.

8 years ago, he lived with me in CA and I asked him to leave he had a horrible gambling problem and had started to put walls up all around.Continue Reading

The Advice You Won't Hear Anywhere Else

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Among all the voices that say "leave him", "dump him", etc., there lies the reality of you.

The loving, giving beautiful soul you are that knows exactly what you "should" do. They make it sound so simple, but it doesn't feel anything like simple to you. It feels heartbreaking, and so very sad, and not at all what you want to do.

How do I just walk away from someone I love?

Yes, exactly. How do any of us? It's the question you want to know the answer to.

Oh your friends have so much advice for you. In fact, even complete strangers only have to hear a few minutes of your situation before they have the same advice to offer you. How can you stay with someone who gives you so little of his time? How can you want to be with someone who can't give you a straight answer as to when, let alone if, he might someday be ready to commit to you?

They  make it sound so easy, so simple, but to you with so much of your heart, your life and your time invested, it's anything but easy.

In fact, it's the hardest thing you ever tried to do.

And how can it not be? He promised so much. He gave you so many reasons to believe. He made you feel like he was on the same page as you. He talked about the same things. He said he wanted the same things.

He made you feel like all that was missing was you.Continue Reading

I Know I Need to Let Go, But I Can't!

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a beautiful woman is holding her head with her hands because she feels like she's going insane over her boyfriend that won't commit.
After 4 years of this, I feel like I'm going INSANE!

One of our beautiful readers, who has chosen to remain anonymous, is in a toxic relationship with a bad boy that she knows is no good for her, but she can't let go.

Here's her story:

Hi Jane.

I really don't know what to do anymore - I have been holding on to this problem for 4 years now and I'm getting INSANE!

It all started 4 years ago when I was 18 years old - I met this boy who became my boyfriend.

We went to the same high school, and I was looking at him for 3 years before he noticed me and came over to talk. Few months later we were boyfriend and girlfriend. He was my first real boyfriend and I was so in love with him.

I can't even describe it - but I'm sure you know it feels.Continue Reading

My Boyfriend is Choosing His Career Over Our Love

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Love or career image - a chalkboard showing a hand drawn balance with the words love and career.
Is your boyfriend choosing his career over love?

One of our beautiful readers, Emily, is in a relationship with a man who is choosing his career over her.

Here's her story:

I am a fifty-three (year old) single woman, never been married with no children. I have not had a relationship with a man for ten years.

I haven’t been attracted to a man in that time; that part of my life didn't exist.

Over eight months ago I met a man through my work that attracted me deeply. He is an executive of a global company and is committed to his work. I have been passionate about my work so find that part of him attractive as well. I have been independent for so long myself.

We work in similar fields so have a lot in common.

Due to his work, he mainly communicates with me by text and there was a time, I may not hear from him for weeks. He was very direct in contacting me and in saying how he feels.

Having a man find me attractive is new to me. When we meet it is wonderful. I love talking to him and feel overcome by how he makes me feel. He is a kind and intelligent man. Over the past year, I have changed.

He has changed me. I now recognize I am a sexual attractive woman.

Over the past few months we have become closer. He is in contact more and says he loves me. I can feel that when I see him. We also live in different cities, which makes it harder. However, as he lives in a city where my family live I visit often. It is usually his work that hinders us in meeting. He travels overseas regularly and works nights.

Last week I visited him to catch up before he traveled overseas again.

I hadn't seen him in months, although he sends me regular texts, recently saying he loves me. I began to feel deeply for him and that I could love him too.Continue Reading

How Can I Face the Void and Survive This Break Up?

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A man is sitting on his couch reading a break up letter, wondering how he is going to survive this break up.One of our wonderful readers, Liam, has just received the break up letter from his girlfriend of 2 years. He has written me asking how he's going to survive this break up.

Here's his email:

First, these articles are mostly written for young, single women.

I am a divorced man in my 50's, a great and successful guy, sensitive, intelligent, fit and attractive and thought I found my true love.  She keeps abruptly breaking things off after two years when we get close, and stopped being romantic yet she calls me her best friend.

I feel stuck.

I have stepped back without contact but this situation also happened with my ex-wife of fourteen years.  I'm afraid I am too good of guy sometimes or just keep picking the wrong person.  I thought this person was different.

What do I do?Continue Reading

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