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Relationships

The Relationships category contains posts regarding the stage after dating, in which you are generally in an exclusive monogamous relationship. The Relationships category includes posts on such topics as meeting the family, commitment, is he the right one for you?, etc.

Am I Crazy to Think He’s With Someone Else?

18 Comments

A beautiful woman looking down sadly, trying to let go and move on.
I feel like he wants to leave me.

Beautiful Lara is wondering if her man is seeing someone else behind her back (her letter has been edited for readability):

Here's her story:

I’ve been with a man for 4 years. We used to laugh, go out together, be intimate. He would communicate.

He used to spoil me. Now he doesn’t.

Now he comes over at 11 PM, and all he wants to is watch movies. He doesn’t text, rarely calls. He used to come over on Friday’s, but now I often don’t see him all weekend.

I’ve never been to his house, I’ve only met 3 of his close friends, and I’ve never been invited to any of his family events.Continue Reading

3 Things You Need to Do When the Truth is Staring You In the Face But You Can’t Yet See It

5 Comments

A beautiful woman leans against a tree wondering if he will ever want a committed relationship with her.
I'm so scared to lose him I feel sick!

The letter this week comes from beautiful Maria, who's desperately afraid of losing her boyfriend.

Here's her letter:

My boyfriend and I haven't been together very long.

We'd known each other three years and did not like each other at all until recently. We started talking and just connected emotionally.

I was actually helping him out with another girl who was a family friend of his and who happened to like him back and it got complicated. He liked me and her at the same time and couldn't choose even after knowing we both liked him (but neither had confessed to him), when I finally decided to cut the crap and I called him and confessed my feelings.

I am a straight to the point person and I told him directly that I liked him but I was pretty sure that he liked her because he couldn't choose between us after all.

I felt like I was in the way and I told him to just ask her out already but he didn't. And the next day we talked it out and were finally on the same page and he chose me.Continue Reading

Forbidden Love

7 Comments

Silhouette of a woman and a man about to kiss, symbolizing love.
I'm making the decision each and every time to see him.

This week, beautiful Maree writes to tell her story of "forbidden love".

Here's what she wrote:

Hi Jane,

I am in a very wierd situation at the moment and the pull is too strong for me to see reality.

I have met an amazing young man 19 years younger...I am 44 he is 25.

I have never felt so at ease so myself so comfortable and connected as I do with him. We haven't had sex but there is a lot of fire and passion when we kiss...so even on a physical level we are deeply attracted.

So now...here is the problem...I feel so ashamed to say it...but I need to share...he is the elder brother of my daughters boyfriend...I know...it is sickly and not done. AND I SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF MYSELF!!!

My daughter means everthing to me!! And yet I am making the decision each and every time to see him...

Please wake me up and slap me out of this!!Continue Reading

He Said Goodbye...

24 Comments

Sad woman missing her boyfriend after breakup with a broken picture of the couple on the bed.
It really hurts that he hasn't contacted me.

This week our letter comes from beautiful Rainie. Her on-again, off-again relationship recently ended over the holidays (why is it always over the holidays...????) and she's devastated.

Here's her email:

I met this guy online five years ago.

We both had not been in a relationship for many, many years. He was working 7 days a week in his own business and I had a son who had disabilities and was devoted to him. We both had our commitments that prevented us from seeing each other a lot but we would communicate each day, most days of the week anyway.

We were each other’s support to a certain extent.

Two years after we first met we had a fight and went our own separate ways. I was devastated at the time... A year later he contacted me again and we ended up being in the same sort of relationship as previously which was suitable for both of us.

Two years have past since then and we have drawn closer to each other, more than before. We live a fair distance from each other, so with his work commitment and my commitment to my son we did not see each other that often.

We would just email each other all the time.Continue Reading

Moving Forward in a Long Distance Relationship

4 Comments

Illustration of the earth depicting a long distance relationshp with two lovers across the globe.
Or should I just cut contact and move on?

Beautiful Stella writes to tell us about her burgeoning long distance relationship, and she's wondering if there's anything she can do to move things forward.

Here's her question:

Hi Jane,

I love reading all the wonderful and insightful advise you give to women (and men) about love and relationships.

Recently I was on vacation in Europe and met this amazing guy with whom I had an instant connection. After a great week I came back home but we have been talking on the phone every day. Our conversations last anywhere between 1-3 hours.

He asked me to come back to visit and I agreed so there's a possibility of seeing him again but beyond that I'm not sure what we can do to advance our "relationship".Continue Reading

He Won't Commit (and Do I Really Want Him To?)

10 Comments

An eraser erasing the word commitment from the paper, symboliizing a man who won't commit.
He'd be happy to just keep me as his "weekend girlfriend" for years.

This week, beautiful Lee writes about her long term partner whose commitment issues are causing her to have some trust issues with him.

Here's her email:

I've been exclusively dating my guy for nearly 18 months.

It was only after we'd been going out for 3 months that I found out he had been separated for nearly 18 years, but never divorced. He knows I thought he was divorced and I wouldn't have gone out with him if I'd known he was only separated.

He goes on about how he never said he was divorced, but he said "my wife wanted the divorce," and naturally I thought he meant it had gone ahead.

He said he'd never pursued the divorce because of his daughter - now aged 23 - as he felt bad about leaving when she was very young. But the wife had told him to go, although he realises she thought he'd probably return and be totally subservient.Continue Reading

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