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Inspiration

The Inspiration category contains posts intended to inspire you to be your best in both love and in life. To remind you that you are beautiful, that you have worth, that you deserve the best that life and love have to offer. The Inspiration category also includes a collection of various poems, stories, etc. that have given me inspiration over the years that I'm now sharing with you.

An Open Letter to The Women Who Posted "Can't I Even Unpack One box?"

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Beautiful woman sitting on floor surrounded by moving boxes face in her hands crying.
"Can't I even unpack one box?"

To the woman who posted that she thought she was a failure because her therapist is frustrated she can't do the "seemingly innocuous thing that most people have no trouble doing, but that represents lots of trauma to her."

It involved unpacking boxes, she said. "Can't I even unpack one box?"

Girl, there’s nothing wrong with you!

I work with women just like this all the time who were “bad” at therapy, who didn’t get anywhere in their counseling, who have nothing to show for all their years of working on themselves!

There’s nothing wrong with you, there's nothing wrong with your counselor, it’s just we all learn and grow and have our shifts in different ways.

Just like so many of us concluded that we were “bad” at math.

It’s not that there’s some inherent math deficiency in us; it’s that we now know that we don’t all learn the same way! They didn't know that back then, when it was an old, intimidating male teacher repeating the same lesson at our desks that he’d just said up at the board - but this time ending with the ominous question, "You can see that now, right?"

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When "Find Your Passion" Makes You Cringe

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Beautiful brunette woman thinking, tired, wondering if she's the one with commitment issues.
If it feels like too much pressure, you're in good company.

You’ve heard the advice about finding your passion, finding that big creative outlet.

You cringe as you think about how much you hate even the idea of painting, drawing, acting, dancing, writing.

All it feels like is pressure, and more pressure, and trying to measure up or compete with people who’ve been doing this for years, while you’re once again, coming in late.

Too late.

Don’t do this to yourself.

Instead, focus on the everyday little things that bring you joy, that give you a chance to do something just for you. Those things that make you feel good about yourself, that give you confidence in you, that give you that feeling of accomplishment.

Not for anyone else, but for you.

I've been there. I've done that. I've tried all those big things and came to the same conclusion most of you have intuitively come to even if no one ever confirmed it for you.Continue Reading

Wondering Why Clarity Matters? Here's Why

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slender long-haired woman wearing white summer dress while walking on a green meadow towards a bright and sunny horizon.
The faster you go through this process, the more clarity you're going to have.

When you don't know exactly what you want, when you don't know exactly what you're worth, when you don't know exactly what you deserve, you get exactly that.

A little of this, a little of that, but never what you're actually looking for - and what you actually want - underneath it all.

When you say "I'll see what I like, I'll see what I want", that's when you get EVERYTHING because now you're going to need to narrow it down.

Because the reality is, you actually do have preferences. You actually do have behaviors you won't tolerate.

That's why you're getting the ones you do, because if you don't first have that inner clarity, you're going to get a chance to find it - and that's usually not what we want, but it's what we get because it's what we need.

Sorting through is this process we're in.

Will you accept this? No, then how about this? Still not right? Ok, what about this?

Where are those boundaries you've never allowed yourself to have? The faster you go through this process, the more clarity you're going to have to get to what you actually want!

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The Antidote to Anxious, Questioning, and Wondering

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Couple holding hands towards the sun with bright sun flare between the silhouetted fingers on a pale blue sky, close up view in a conceptual image.
When you change your focus, the unexpected happens.

I'm realizing I need to share more of these stories with you.

Real stories of other women just like you, finding your way here because my messages about your worth and your value resonated with you.

Real stories of happy endings, like the one you can't see when you're in the middle of what you're going through right now.

If you haven't already figured this out, I'm not just about getting a guy; I'm about finding yourself, finding your worth - finding your value - and from there, creating a life for yourself that includes you finding the guy you've been looking for all along.

That's what happens when you find yourself first. When you change your focus to you, away from him, the unexpected - the seemingly impossible at the time - always finds you.

That's what happened for Lynn.

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The Choice Is Yours

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A beautiful woman looks out over the ocean.
What if it could all be different?

The choice is always there.

To stay soft.

To stay open.

To stay hopeful.

Or to give up.

To harden our hearts. To give in to the pressure. To conform like the rest. To say the world is a cruel, harsh place. To say all the good ones are taken. To say we were born in the wrong time and place. To say there's no one left for us.

Our proof is right there in our past. In our patterns. In our history.

We can always find evidence to support what we choose to believe.Continue Reading

Panic Attacks

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A beautiful woman has her eyes closed representing a panic attack.
Her words brought it all rushing back to me.

I had my first panic attack when I was 18.

It was Thanksgiving weekend and I was the passenger in a car of girls driving back from my girlfriend’s family home in Northern California on the 5 Freeway, along with everyone else headed back to SoCal post holiday.

I was living in Southern California at the time, attending Biola University, on a PK (Pastor’s kid) scholarship. My own family celebrated our Canadian Thanksgiving a month earlier, so my friend had included me in her family plans.

The girl in the backseat who was carpooling with us – she was a childhood friend of my new friend and lived around the corner from her although she went to a different SoCal university, she picked up on who I was immediately.Continue Reading

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