Getting to TRUE Love

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Dating

The posts in the dating category relate to the early stages of a relationship, before the two of you are exclusive. The dating category includes topics such as where to find men, how do I find Mr. Right?, first dates, should you call him, etc.

What do YOU think makes a man commit to you?

3 Comments

A beautiful woman is on a romantic date with a man.
Your answer to this question makes all the difference.

It's this part that's so telling.

I hear from women just like you every day. Saying they think it's about something they have to say or do differently. They think there's some secret answer that they haven't yet uncovered, and if they can just find that, they'll have him committing in no time.

I get it, because I went on the search for this, too. I tried all of it - everything- just to try to get my answer.

Is it this?

Play it cool. Be the cool girl.

Or this?

Act like you can take or leave him.

What about this?Continue Reading

Don't take what someone told you is your story and make it come true!

18 Comments

A beautiful woman sids under a tree in autumn feeling sad and lonely.
Don't put this on yourself, Beautiful.

Instead of asking yourself what's wrong with you, or what you did or said wrong, or why you weren't good enough for him, there's something else you need to be asking instead. Who treats someone like this? Who withholds reassurance from someone vulnerable enough to ask for it?

What kind of guy does this?

You think it's you because that's what we're so programmed to believe - that it's because you said too much or the wrong thing at the wrong time. But why can't you communicate directly with someone you're getting to know, who's obviously giving you some indication he's interested or you wouldn't be here at all?

Ask yourself this; isn't there something wrong with a guy who responds to you by avoiding or ignoring you, instead of being honest with you? What does that say about him?

Don't put this on yourself, Beautiful. You're human.

No, you're not perfect. No, not everyone is going to be on the same page as you or want to be with you.Continue Reading

He ghosted me after I said I cared about him!

10 Comments

A beautiful woman looks at her phone wondering why he suddenly disappeared.
Was it a mistake to let him know how I feel?

Our letter today comes from Tazz, who had some amazing sex with a man she met online and thought all was going great, until she made the "mistake" of telling him she cared about him and didn't want to see him hurt again.

Her Story:

I met a man online, met him a few times, had amazing sex with him, but after I told him I don't want to see him hurt again..as he is going through a divorce and trying to heal on the inside ... said he could take care of himself wanted to break from me for a bit and ghosted me.

He texted me last night he had a good day, went out on a date and missed me ... he is an amazing man and I messed up by telling him I worry about him...

I can't lose him but I'm not happy with his ghosting me either what should I do to bring him back???Continue Reading

I’m TOO perfect? How is THAT the problem?!

7 Comments

A beautiful woman leans her head against a tree, looking unsure.
I just don't get it.

Your comments inspire a lot more than I often have time to put into my responses, and a recent one was no exception as it brought up a point too important and relevant for any of you to miss.

It’s a scenario you’re used to. He’s pulling away, while giving you his reasons, sharing his sad story from his past. He just wants to be loved, to be understood, to know he can trust you, and yet even when the entire essence of you conveys that to him with everything you do and say, it's STILL not enough to make him ready for a commitment with you!

You're incredulous. How can I be all that and he STILL doesn't know it's going to be different for us than it's ever been with anyone else he's been with? How do I show him that?

I responded by telling her precisely what the problem was.

She’s too perfect for him.

I've had this conversation with so many women before her. I imagined her looking at me incredulously, which is usually the response I get. How could that possibly be the problem?! She’s been trying to be perfect ENOUGH her whole life.Continue Reading

What No One Ever Told You About Attraction and Compatibility

7 Comments

Silhouette of a woman and a man about to kiss, symbolizing love.
Yes, attraction is very important, but...

I work with a lot of divorced women who are doing this the second time around. And there's a pattern I've noticed.

The guy they chose their first time around isn't the one they're choosing this time. What they learned about their first choice is influencing their second choice.

Whether this is your own first search or you're like them, doing this the second time around, I've got something invaluable to tell you to help you in your own search.

If you're a deep and sensitive person and choose the macho guys-guy kind of men, unless you've changed who you are, your next guy needs to be a deep and sensitive guy, too. These women have found that just because their original guy lit them up because he was so different from them and they were like, "Hey, what's it like to be you?!" doesn't mean they're actually compatible with this type of guy.Continue Reading

You're Looking for the Wrong Thing

4 Comments

A beautiful woman is feeling lonely and sad, feeling as though nothing will ever change.
We're going about it all the wrong way.

Something hit me the other day.

I've been thinking about this for awhile now, wondering about what makes the difference between those who have so much to offer and go on to find someone with ease, and those of us who struggle so hard to find what we're looking for, or even anything close.

I've tried to break this down for you in a way that you can clearly see what's happening, so that you can easily see this pattern, and put it into words so you can finally do something about it.

I've got those words for you now.

And what it comes down to is that most of us who are struggling so hard with meeting the right guy or the right people or the right job or the right whatever, are all struggling with the same thing.

We're on the wrong search.Continue Reading

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