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Dating

The posts in the dating category relate to the early stages of a relationship, before the two of you are exclusive. The dating category includes topics such as where to find men, how do I find Mr. Right?, first dates, should you call him, etc.

I Feel Like I Did Everything Right, and He Still Disappeared!

68 Comments

A sign post saying perfectly right.
I just don't get it - I thought I did everything right!

Our beautiful friend, Vera, feels like she did everything right this time, making sure that she wasn't pushing him away. But he still got distant and started pulling away!

Here's what she wrote:

I am no stranger to a guy pulling away and when I look back at every guy who did I realize what I did wrong to push them away.

This time it is different.

I met this guy online and from the moment we met I let him take the lead and act like the man. I NEVER once initiated contact, I did not come off as clingy or needy, I purposely said I had plans when I didn't just so it would look I was not available every time he wanted.

We dated for about 3 months and never slept together. I never at one point thought that he was after sex. He would always ask me out on actual dates and take me to  nice restaurants or movies. He always went out of the way to pick me up at my house and never pushed for me to let him come in. He is a doctor and still managed once a day to be in contact with me.

The holidays came and went and that is where things changed.Continue Reading

How Could He Just Leave Without Even Saying Goodbye?

14 Comments

A man walks down a snowy winter road.
Why did he give up?

Our beautiful friend, Tracy, has just gone through a devastating experience with an emotionally unavailable man.

Here's her story:

Hi Jane,

You helped me with my first break up with a emotionally unavailable man and your articles inspired me to keep my eyes open while dating.

I must admit for 4 months I was involved in a little mess here. But with your knowledge and clear look for signs I can now recover faster and be stronger.

Our story started with the dead end. But it could have change with the happy ending.

I met a wonderful man while he was travelling. We jumped into romance and adventure and soon after realized that this is something more than just a summer fling.

Even from the start I could see a red flag rising. He was from States, I was living in Australia. In beginning he thought he will stay here but after exploring his future options he couldn't see his career and life here in Australia.

All the immigration laws was against us.Continue Reading

He Says I'm Awesome, But He's Not Ready For a Relationship

52 Comments

A blond woman scratches her head because she's confused by her boyfriends actions.
Help! I'm so confused!

I hear it so often. "Everything's going so well, but he tells me he doesn't want a relationship".

Sound familiar? Our lovely friend Ezi is going through this right now, and she's wondering what to do.

Her email:

I met this guy online and we seemed to connect really well.

We messaged each other about everyday, then he asked for my number and then we could talk about two days for 3 hours and sometimes we'd text. We'd take turns communicating with each other.

Then we finally met in person and it worked out well. We met two more times (one of them more recently).

Since we met online, he says he likes me and says I'm awesome (I guess it's because we have similar interests and I'm "good with words"), though he says he's not ready for a relationship because he's not over his ex from 3 years ago (he feels bad for how he treated her back then), he has too much baggage, he feels I am going places in life (in terms of career), and  he feels I deserve better.Continue Reading

Is It All In My Head? Or Is He Being Distant?

25 Comments

A beautiful woman looks down, sad, wondering if her boyfriend is getting distant.
Is he getting distant, or is it just me?

If you're like I was, there are times when you really begin to question yourself.

Like when you think you notice little things suddenly being different, but since you can't quite put your finger on any one thing, you second-guess yourself. You feel like he's getting distant, but it's subtle.

You know if you confront him about it, he'll deny it, or tell you that you're being needy, or controlling, or smothering, or something else just as awful sounding. But in your gut you know it's true.

It's happened. Again. He's getting distant, and to you it feels like the beginning of the end.

This is exactly what's happening right now to our beautiful friend, Vanessa.

Here's her email:

Me and my boyfriend have been together for about 7 months and recently just came back from our vacation together.Continue Reading

Please Help Me Get Him Back

18 Comments

A woman looks at her phone wondering why he stopped texting.
He suddenly stopped texting or even responding to me!

I hear it all the time. Things started off so great - we had such chemistry, we clicked, I felt the spark! Then suddenly, everything changed...

One of our readers, City, is experiencing this right now. She confronted him about it, and now he's pulled away even more.

Here's what she wrote:

I met this guy a few months ago and we immediately clicked.

We had a connection (or so I thought ). We would talk till morning rise and we never wanted to be apart. He would  send me text messages just to let me know his thinking about me.

Every thing changed when he went home for holidays.Continue Reading

Have I Chased Him Away By Being Insecure?

28 Comments

Woman lying in bed upset, wondering if she chased him away
Did I push him away?

Our beautiful friend, Fome, is afraid she’s chased away her guy by becoming clingy, needy and acting desperate. Has she?

Here’s her story …

Dear Jane,

I just recently found your blog and it feels like every single topic you have addressed, you are speaking directly to me.

I recently got introduced to this guy through a mutual friend, around September this year. He stays abroad so we haven't met physically. We Skype everyday.

We hit it off immediately.

We both knew we wanted something serious. After about a month of talking everyday. We were already making plans to see. We talk freely about the future, settling and all.

I really like him.

When we first started. The calls were a lot frequent. We could Skype for 10hrs at a stretch on a work free day. It was beautiful.

Then later the calls began to reduce.Continue Reading

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