Finding your YOU that leads to TWO
You don’t say it out loud, but it’s there.
You think it has to be you.
Everything you’re not.
Everything you think you need to be.
But it’s not!
Exactly who you are is enough.
Exactly where you’re at right now is all part of this journey.
Don’t buy into a culture that dictates what you need to be to be loved, to have love, in order to get that love.
Love doesn’t work that way. It shows up both when you least expect it and when you most expect it.
In the perfect time either way.Continue Reading
Our letter this week comes from one of our beautiful readers I'm calling Sandy. I'll let her tell you her story below.
I met a wonderful man this last summer and we immediately hit it off. We are both in our 50's and I cannot begin to explain to you how many things we have in common, how often we laugh together, and our communication has been amazing.
We love to just spend time together.
He tells me he loves me something terribly and I feel the same way. It’s one of those type of relationships where everything is perfect for the both of us, EXCEPT one thing. We both agreed and still agree to this day we have something special, we are best friends.
He was married for 21 years and after he divorced, he dated another woman for a year and a half. It was a toxic relationship and ended one sided several times with her leaving him.Continue Reading
To the woman who posted that she thought she was a failure because her therapist is frustrated she can't do the "seemingly innocuous thing that most people have no trouble doing, but that represents lots of trauma to her."
It involved unpacking boxes, she said. "Can't I even unpack one box?"
Girl, there’s nothing wrong with you!
I work with women just like this all the time who were “bad” at therapy, who didn’t get anywhere in their counseling, who have nothing to show for all their years of working on themselves!
There’s nothing wrong with you, there's nothing wrong with your counselor, it’s just we all learn and grow and have our shifts in different ways.
Just like so many of us concluded that we were “bad” at math.
It’s not that there’s some inherent math deficiency in us; it’s that we now know that we don’t all learn the same way! They didn't know that back then, when it was an old, intimidating male teacher repeating the same lesson at our desks that he’d just said up at the board - but this time ending with the ominous question, "You can see that now, right?"
Our letter this week is a short one. In fact, it's a sentence. But in that one sentence, our beautiful reader Amy asks a question that's so relevant because of what it unearths. Read on to find out why ...
Why is it an ex that I still hold dear to my heart and love more than the sun, and to the moon and back, will message my friend that he still loves me but won't tell me, and is with someone else and moved with her to our planned future city to live in?
-Amy
Why does anyone do what they do?
We have so many emotions that come up when it’s happening to us because when we’re in it, when it’s happening to us, we can’t see it with the objective detached view that we normally hold when it’s about someone else.Continue Reading
You know all those things you don't do? All those opportunities you don't take? All those times your fear of saying the wrong thing or coming across as too forward, too desperate or too needy hold you back from saying anything at all?
There's a reason we don't act. There's a reason we don't take our chances. There's a reason our fears around coming across in a less than perfect way keeps us from saying or doing anything at all.
I had a call this week with a woman who needed help figuring out how to find out if a guy she's been on a few dates with is for real, or not.
She discovered he may have some questionable history and yet he's not acting like he's got anything to hide. She's so conflicted about what to say and how to say it, she's not sure if she even wants to go out with him again. But she needs more information before she makes any decision.Continue Reading
Our letter this week comes from our beautiful reader, Kristina, who's found herself in a relationship with a guy who's checking off all kinds of boxes for her, but not the one's she's used to.
She's wondering where to go from here and I'm hoping my advice, along with your experience or thoughts on this ever-returning subject of "the Spark" will give her the clarity she's looking for.
Dear Jane,
I have never done anything like this. I really hope to receive a response, or to at least receive some notification if you make a blog post. Regardless, if you are reading this, thank you for your time.
I have just read your post about the elusive spark and how you say that it is not something that matters because it goes away anyway. It was so incredibly helpful.
Additionally, reading all the comments and seeing how many women struggle with the same thing, made me feel much better too.Continue Reading
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