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Blindsided By This Breakup

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A beautiful woman looks sad because her boyfriend doesn't want to be with her.
I just don't understand any of it.

Our letter today is from Ann, who's been blindsided by a breakup after 5 years together.

Here's her story...

Hi Jane,

My question is how do I move on after being blindsided by this breakup?

My ex and I had been together for 5 years. Looking back, there are probably some red flags that I overlooked.

When we first started dating, he was very hard to read. It took us a long time to actually determine what our relationship was, and part of this was due to the fact that when we first met, I was supposed to be moving away for grad school.

I brought up the topic of where our relationship was heading, and he said that he knew we needed to talk about it but he wasn't sure what to say because he had been in a long distance relationship in the past, and it didn't work. I had also been in one so I could understand where he was coming from.Continue Reading

The Elephant in the Room

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Beautiful woman sitting in chair faces her fear which is the elephant in the room behind her.
Let's bring the elephant out of the room and into the open.

How many times have you heard about someone just like you doing something you'd love to do but can't imagine how you would actually go about making that real for you?

I hear stories just like this from you all the time. You're too young, too old, not experienced enough, not educated enough, too much of an introvert, too nervous, not financially in a position to, not in a position to for so many other reasons, and when it comes right down to it, you're more than a little scared.

Isn't that what most of us feel? Scared?

Afraid to start something we might fail at? Afraid to have to answer to all those naysayers who said we should just play it safe because it makes them feel so much more comfortable when you're not giving them reason to wonder what might also be possible for them?

Here's where I'm going with this. I talk to women every day about all the things they'd rather be doing than what they're doing right now. Just the other day, I encountered a woman who met an old friend she hadn't seen in long time, and the conversation came around to how she could see her opening her own yoga studio.Continue Reading

He Completely Dropped Off the Face of the Planet

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Close up of a woman using mobile smart phone, wondering why she was ghosted and he suddenly stopped texting.
I haven't heard from him since.

Beautiful Sami writes to tell us her story of being ghosted by her relatively new long-distance boyfriend, and she's wondering what could have happened.

Read on for her story, along with my response:

Hi Jane,

I started seeing a guy who lives in a different state than me a few months ago. I've seen him three times in person, and those three times we were with each other almost non stop for days.

He even came to visit me one weekend and again, we were with each other the entire time. It was amazing.

When we weren't together, we would text constantly, every single day. He was usually the one who started the conversations, but I would start them occasionally, attempting to let him know that I was just as interested in talking to him as he was interested in talking to me.Continue Reading

Pick One Thing

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A beautiful woman walks down a path, representing different choices in her relationships.
There are so many different roads to the same place.

Anyone need a little hope today?

Because there's no feeling of hope when you're in the thick of it. Not when it feels like nothing is ever going to get better because you can't get past every little mistake you made, every wrong path, every choice you should have made so differently.

That's the only thing that's clear when you're here.

Every choice you made that you regret making because of where it led, every "mistake" you think you made, every thing you ever did that gave you a different outcome than the one you wanted that path to lead to, makes it's so hard to believe that it's BECAUSE of those things that you're going to get to a different place that's actually the place you want to be!

But that's exactly my point.

See, there are so many different roads to the same place. Pick one, any one.

Pick the one that makes the most sense to you right now. Or pick the one that your heart tells you to right now.Continue Reading

I Really Don’t Want to Let Go

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Beautiful woman sad sitting on the window sill and painting on glass feeling heartbroken because it's hard to move on.
I have never met someone so compatible with me.

Ever met someone you liked so much right away? And the more you got to know him, the more you liked him, the more compatible you thought you were until that's all you could see? Our letter this week is from beautiful Cindy who's going through this now, and a whole lot more.

Here's her story:

Hi Jane,

I’m going through a very heartbreaking, difficult time now.

I have been dating this guy for 5 months. We had a lot in common and we really got along together. We spent every weekend together since our first date. He’s the one I’ve been looking for, and I like everything about him. The more I know about him, the more I like him.

I even seen him as a potential partner.Continue Reading

Sure, it may be simple. But don't ever call it easy!

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A beautiful woman sits on a park bench wondering why she loves him.
And don't make it more difficult than it already is.

I've been talking a lot recently about the difference between something being easy and something being simple.

Like relationships.

And love.

And choosing something different than you're used to choosing.

Some of you get so down on yourselves because you get this in theory, but then you can't seem to apply it to your practical reality. You may have friends or family who make you feel like there's something wrong with you because it's not happening the way they make it seem like it should be, but the truth is, there's a world of difference between easy and simple.Continue Reading

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