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Archives for January 2016

5 Years...Still Waiting

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A beautiful woman is looking frustrated near a clock, wondering how much longer she needs to wait for her boyfriend.
What on earth is wrong with him?

It's one of the biggest questions I hear over and over again: "How much more time should I give him? Have I really wasted the best years of my life on this man?"

Our beautiful friend, Louise, is going through this right now and has been for the last five years.

Here's her story:

Hi Jane

I've been with a guy for 5 years now.

I've known him for 13 years in total and when I moved to my new city he got in touch and we set up home together pretty much straight away.

He initiated us getting together and said although he was living with someone (they own a house together) they were splitting up and there was no future in it - and said we'd get somewhere to rent for a year whilst he got their house sold and all matters tied up.

They were not married.Continue Reading

Is It All In My Head? Or Is He Being Distant?

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A beautiful woman looks down, sad, wondering if her boyfriend is getting distant.
Is he getting distant, or is it just me?

If you're like I was, there are times when you really begin to question yourself.

Like when you think you notice little things suddenly being different, but since you can't quite put your finger on any one thing, you second-guess yourself. You feel like he's getting distant, but it's subtle.

You know if you confront him about it, he'll deny it, or tell you that you're being needy, or controlling, or smothering, or something else just as awful sounding. But in your gut you know it's true.

It's happened. Again. He's getting distant, and to you it feels like the beginning of the end.

This is exactly what's happening right now to our beautiful friend, Vanessa.

Here's her email:

Me and my boyfriend have been together for about 7 months and recently just came back from our vacation together.Continue Reading

The Truth About the Half-In-Half-Out Relationship

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A woman dips her toes in the pool, signifying the half-in-half-out relationship.
One foot out. One foot in. And then there's you.

When he doesn’t have to drive to see you – because you come to him.

When he doesn’t have to give you love – to get sex.

When he doesn’t have to court you, date you, prove his worth to you – because you make this all so easy for him.

There’s a lie going around that we believe we just have to be enough, love enough, try hard enough, give enough and he’s going to come around.

It’s been going around as long as we were old enough to absorb it, and it’s spread all around us from the music we listen to, to the shows and movies we watch, to the more subtle messages marketed to us in advertisements, carried in familiar adages we never question, and in the words of everyone around us who’s bought into it, too.Continue Reading

Please Help Me Get Him Back

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A woman looks at her phone wondering why he stopped texting.
He suddenly stopped texting or even responding to me!

I hear it all the time. Things started off so great - we had such chemistry, we clicked, I felt the spark! Then suddenly, everything changed...

One of our readers, City, is experiencing this right now. She confronted him about it, and now he's pulled away even more.

Here's what she wrote:

I met this guy a few months ago and we immediately clicked.

We had a connection (or so I thought ). We would talk till morning rise and we never wanted to be apart. He would  send me text messages just to let me know his thinking about me.

Every thing changed when he went home for holidays.Continue Reading

What the Emotionally Unavailable Man Needs From YOU

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Man lies on the couch while his girlfriend is upset with him because he's emotionally unavailable.
When you've tried everything else, there's one more thing.

How could he do this to me?

How could he do this to us?

These are the words that escape your lips. So much hurt. So much pain. So many unanswered questions.

You want to know why.

You’ve tried to ask him. You’ve tried to put your quest for answers into words that he could respond to. But he keeps saying the same thing that doesn’t make any sense to you – or he doesn’t say anything at all.Continue Reading

How Do I Find the Courage to Leave?

7 Comments

Beautiful rocks with the word courage written on one.
How do I tell him I don't want to be with him?

One of our gorgeous readers, who has chosen to call herself "In Between", is desperately trying to find the courage to leave a relationship that she knows isn't right for her.

Here's her email:

Hi Jane,

I am a follower of yours and I have benefited tremendously from all your emails.

I am 25 years old and am in a situation. My boyfriend and best friend of about 4 years broke up with me and said that he had met someone else who he saw himself with. I had broken up with him before then we got back together, we have been best friends since we were in our late teens and we know each other so well.

I know I hurt him before when I broke up with him so I knew somehow that he did this to get revenge somehow, which did not work out so good for him because after two months, he was back on his knees saying he did not know what he was doing at the time and that he listened to some people who only wanted to break us apart and he only realized afterwards.

The only problem is, I had forgiven him quite alright, I broke contact with him and was now seeing someone else.Continue Reading

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